How Do You Like Me Now?
by I'm Pretty Bored
Summary: "I used to think my life was a romantic tragedy. But then I realised...it's a romantic comedy." Or, that time some fish-eyed idiot sent the wrong photo (a d*ck pick) to the right people (Haruno's Chapter now available.)
1. Happy Little Accident

Happy Little Accident

In this cruel, turbulent world we live in, we would ideally want a partner that's got a lot in common with us. Sure, there are a lot of things and ventures that a normie can perform with their significant other that doesn't require any previous investments of passion and time. A few songs at the mixer here, trips to all the popular landmarks there. Inoffensive, and overall a conventional way to spend time with others. So long as there's even a modicum of enjoyment to be had, we all eventually look back to those times once with some glee, especially in contrast to the dreary routine we eventually place ourselves into.

I apologize, I believe that I've gone off topic there. Regardless, it's for the best for both parties that they share at least some thing to make whatever relationship they've got last. Perhaps they share a hobby, an aforementioned memory. Perhaps even some kind of miserable dilemma, which is how I generally find myself company these days.

Either way, whatever connection there is, it's at the very least a connection. Zaimokuza and I can attest to that. Regardless of how maddening or out there he can be at times, he's not exactly someone I'd abandon if it comes down to it. Komachi puts it best: once you're in proximity with anything or anyone, after a while you're probably going to grow fond of it.

It doesn't really matter to me, though. I've accepted time and time again that dreams of a high school romance tis but a mere, tragic dream had I pursued it after what occurred with Orimoto. I myself, am not really attractive in any sense of the word. I'm not all that tall, and I don't think I need to go into detail regarding my eyes, as I'm sure commentary from many others can attest to its effect on others.

In most cases, such inhibiting qualities can be salvaged by one's personality, but considering how I've acted in the past, that's probably out of the question too. In real life, insufferable cynic's such as myself wouldn't really click with most, if not all personality types, so why bother? This isn't some anime where I could literally do whatever I want and be gifted a bunch of hormonal, indecisive women at my doorstep, is it?

I suppose, coming to terms with that fact is what pushes me to pursue the role of a house husband. So long as I offer the base utility of cooking and taking care of the kids, I'm sure that there's at least one desperate individual that'll accept me for just that. I'll be staying at home all day, so you don't even have to deal with customarily be seen with me outside in public!

At the very least, I am quite blessed by someone, considering that I'm given the opportunity to befriend girls with surprising ease. If one were to look at my contact list, you'd be amazed at some of the prolific names that are listed. Lord knows, I've managed to accrue quite that many female friends throughout my time at Sobu. For one, there's my clubmates, though by god, did it take a lot out of me to resolve the internal conflicts they have had to deal with.

There's Iroha, who I swear, is in a parasitical relationship with me, with how much I've done for her, and the demands just keep on coming. Yes, my dear underclassmen, smiles and a wink might work on other boys, but after a while, it just comes back in diminishing returns. Come to think of it, I wonder if Hayato was ever flustered by her at one point. I'm sure there's had to be at least one time his charming façade dropped due to some kind of flirting. Lord knows, I would have loved to see that perpetual grin of his fall right off his face.

I'm not exactly losing out in regards to classmates as well. After a period of time solving problems with Hayato's group, I eventually ended up making friends with Miura and Ebina as well. As I've said before, internal conflicts and dilemmas are a common means of connecting to others. No matter where you land on the social totem pole, I suppose that's how it went for me and them as well. Ebina was quite easy to start off being friends with, considering her obsessive tendency to imagine myself getting rammed from behind by either Hayato or anyone in his clique. Afterwards, however, it was actually quite nice, being able to talk to someone who's had discomfort with their place in their social circle.

In fact, it was through her that I finally got to know about Miura, as it turns out she's had her fair share of insecurities. Expected, as it would for most teenage girls, but I suppose for someone at such a high standing as the Fire Queen of Sobu herself, there's bound to be a lot of pressure on top of her shoulders. A couple of talks later regarding indecision and the future lying ahead, I'm honestly surprised how willing she was to act all open with her feelings. I suppose, once you see how well the track record of the Service Club has been when it came to these kinds of things, I guess some people are willing to be a lot more open.

It's not like I can really forget some of the first friends I made as well. Saki, she was actually really kind once you got to know her. Yes, I finally managed to remember her name, after all this time. After a while of just being afraid to say the wrong name, turns out all I really had to do was pay attention to the role call in the morning to figure out what her name really was. Simple solution, honestly. Had no idea what took me so long.

And Totsuka, oh dearest Totsuka. Unfortunately, puberty made damn sure that she was no longer able to hide her true identity. By the time the second half of the school year had arrived, it came to a shock to everyone that she was actually a girl this whole time. Almost everyone, at least. I was sincerely flattered at how he decided to confide to me personally about this tidbit. Why he didn't decide to talk to Yui or basically any other girl about it first was beyond me, but if it meant that she and I were connected by a secret bond, then by all means, let it be!

Haruno and Shiomeguri-senpai, ever the enigmatic figures in my life, also somehow ended up in my contacts. In response to the complete shitshow that was the incident with Sagami, the two of them decided to join forces in order to wrest my contact details. In Meguri-senpai's case, it was clear that it was borne out of worry, and with those pouty eyes reminding me of a certain pink-haired classmate of mine, I found it too difficult to refuse. The opposite could be said for Yukinoshita's older sister, however, who to this day, I'm afraid that she'll ask me for a favor that I really don't want to imagine.

And for the record, the incident with Orimoto, surprisingly didn't count. Conveniently, after the period where I truly wished for something genuine, we somehow came into contact with each other, regarding the whole ordeal with the double date and whatever happened between us in the past.

Quite a bitter conversation, I will admit on both ends. She had tears in her eyes, and I had to relive memories of the times I thought way too much of myself in front of the girl where one of my greatest embarrassments in life stemmed from. At the end of the conversation, however, somehow we both ended up in a gentle hug, resolving to restart our friendship fresh. Ultimately, if it wasn't for that incident with Hayato and her friend, perhaps I would have spent the rest of my life regretting such an instance. After all of that, however, my heart somehow felt at ease.

The biggest surprise of them all, however, was Sagami. Yes, the girl who basically a paper tiger throughout the entire of the Culture Festival and needed me to sacrifice myself just to pull her out of the fire. To be perfectly honest, I really didn't expect much from her after that. As far as I was concerned, once the tears fell and the support came, she would just remain the same girl as she always had been, striving to be in the spotlight with nary any means or method which lets her be there deservedly so.

Turns out, such a personality as that was never going to remain stalwart forever, especially amongst the volatility that is the female population of Sobu. A misunderstanding here and there, and a bunch of arguments coming from nothing and resulting in far more than any one could have predicted. Soon, the martyr of the Culture Festival ended up being abandoned by the very friends she abandoned her duties to spend time with. I suppose ultimately, what goes around comes around, as the old saying goes.

She came to the Service Club once her bonds ended up going into the gutter, and was basically begging for some matter of reconciliation with her old friends. Had she come just a little bit earlier, I believed that we would have rebuked her in the worst possible ways. But, as a brave, amazing fellow once declared, everyone wanted something genuine, right? So, we decided to just have Yuigahama spend time with her, as while they weren't close, it was probably the one genuine bond that remained out of her entire social circle. Everything else was eviscerated by gossiping and rumors, but luckily Yuigahama never really cared for that bullshit.

Suddenly, she bonded, then got to know Ebina, and then Miura, and even Hayato, who everyone from a ten-mile radius could tell she crushed on him hard in our first year. Perhaps substituting one clique for another wasn't exactly the most ideal of solutions, but I'd say she's in much better hands with that group compared to her previous companions.

Which is why it was so utterly surprising that she decided she wanted my contact information. You figured after what I did, she'd be so repulsed that she didn't want anything to do with me. If the situations were reversed, I doubt I could do such a thing. Yuigahama and the others must have said something to her in my defense, otherwise I don't know how such an occurrence was possible. It didn't really escalate at all from there, though.

Surprisingly, she was the one trying to initiate small talk via text message. Our conversations were far too brief to even be considered such, but there's a bit of comfort in knowing that even the most antagonistic of storms could calm down in such a way without consequence. Maybe she too, wished for something genuine as well.

Of course, I must reiterate that due to my own personal experiences, I have learnt never to get ahead of myself. Whether it's to pursue a dream, to improve themselves or to escape the shackles of falsehoods, they've all got something to strive for at the end of the day. In my case, however, the road set out for me has been unclear for quite some time now. Sure, now I know that I'm aiming for something genuine, but such a general statement such as that doesn't give me any specific images for my future. Partners are supposed to make each other in some way, and that's someone you just can't do with someone who stagnates through their life. Besides, there's no conceivable way that any one of them could have a crush on me. No one's dense enough to think I even have an iota of a chance with any of these girls.

_'Wow, did you see Hikitani's eyes today? Creepy as ever, isn't it?_

Well, if you're going to spend time reminiscing in the shower, I supposed one shouldn't be surprised that your thoughts would begin to wander to other things.

_'Geez, does he just spend his time overhearing other people's conversations? Should just stick to his own friends, if he had any.'_

Ahh, do I not miss the times of childhood and middle school student's and their desire to be judgmental over everything. I was like that once upon a time as well. Thank god I got with the program when I did.

_'Geez, can you believe the nerve of that guy? Confessing to Kaori-chan, of all people? There's not enough money in the world to put him in the same league as her.'_

Hmm, wasn't that a week or so after that confession went down? Well, knowing shallow girls like her, it probably would have taken much money period for me to appear attractive, in all honesty.

_'God, why didn't he just shut his mouth? Does he think that making people work hard makes himself look attractive? God, what a loser!'_

As opposed to being lazy, which is totally an attractive quality to have in an individual. Geez, no wonder so many people flocked to Sagami's side when the time came.

_'What do those two see in him to even let him be in the same proximity as that guy? God, the service club must be comprised of hidden nymphos if their letting someone like him in.' _

Oooh, probably a bad idea to say that in hearing range of Hayato and the others. Give the popular kid a modicum of credit, they definitely know how to exert their influence when it comes to obviously vile shit such as that.

_'Jeez, can't believe he's strutting around like that, after everything he's done? Hope he ends up unloved for the rest of his life, maybe he'll feel what Sagami did just for a bit!'_

Now, that's a case of disproportionate retribution if I've ever seen one. Give any normal person an excuse, and it's all too easy to justify themselves to act like a monster, I suppose.

_'Loser!'_

_'Asshole!'_

_'Ugly!'_

Ehh, insults without substance. Honestly, you really got to put some more oomph into these kinds of things, otherwise it's all too easy to ignore.

_'God, can you believe the nerve of this guy? Scrawny, ugly, don't think anyone likes him. Geez, thank god Hayato's in our class, right ladies? At least it balances the whole thing out, lol. Maybe take a page out of his book, maybe he'll actually find some success.'_

…yup. Just like that. That….definitely irks me quite a bit. Yes, hmmm. I found myself turning off the shower, putting on a towel with some uncomfortable amount of urgency. It's ok to say I'm unattractive, and whatever crap you hear out of Chinese whispers. Comparing me to that guy, though? Someone who's too conformist to get anything done, who could have done something at all to fix his own shit? Piss off, seriously.

…you know what? Fine. You honestly think I'm still scrawny? Looking at myself at the mirror, I found myself smirking at how wrong that statement was. After all the crap I've had to do, carrying stuff for our manipulator of a council president, biking to and fro from school and other redundant errands for the Service Club. Turns out, doing hard labor in your spare time gives you at least some muscle. To some extent, I'm somewhat glad Totsuka decided to drag me along for tennis practice. I suppose in the long run, having some tone to myself is nice.

That being said, nothing too special. I mean, most cases, if you're going to be muscular, surely you're supposed to have as much muscle mass as some of those stars in those western superhero movies. I'm fairly certain that's the average amount of muscle such a man would have, right? I haven't really payed attention to anyone other than myself in the change rooms, so I wouldn't know. Ehh, probably what I'm thinking is correct.

Huh, you know what? This image in front of me, this 'guy' who's supposedly not all that, someone who couldn't possibly compare to their exalted Hayato, surprisingly he's a lot better than you'd expect, isn't he?! Looking at the phone I left next to the sink, an idea popped into my head. You know what, after everything that I've been through, I deserve to know that I've done something worth a damn. This is for me!

Taking the phone from it's place next to the sink, I switched to the camera function and went for a picture of my reflection. The screen's still slightly foggy, but I made damn sure that everything important is well framed. Every bit of my body is right in front of the mirror, with nothing left out. What face should I make to commemorate my achievement in fitness, I wonder? Smirking? No, that would creep even me out. Deadpan? It's a special occasion, no need to make it appear candid.

'Geez, thank god Hayato's in our class, right ladies?'

As the camera snapped, it took me a while to collect myself before realizing that the deed was already carried out. As I looked into my album, what appeared to be a disarming glance ended up being my expression. Almost as if saying, god, you're such a piece of trash. Kinda like it to be honest. Definitely makes me look badass for a change, especially with my hair being down due to the shower. As if to emphasize my rage at the lingering memory, my teeth were gritted, and the remaining arm at my side curled into a fist, almost in uniform position, like I was in the military.

Only I wasn't exactly wearing any uniform or camos.

In fact, I wasn't wearing anything period. Not even a towel.

Huh. It appears that in that momentary instance where I lost my composure, my remaining hand decided to no longer support the towel in order to assume the aforementioned position. And in its place, Hachiman Junior was rearing its head. Well, 'Junior' being quite a loose term, as it appears that somehow, it's deciding to stand at attention. Isn't this what they call a 'hate boner'? I honestly thought that was just a figure of speech. Well, regardless, no big deal, right? It's only for my eyes only, after all. Just a quick caption, and that'll do just nicely.

That being said, now that I've taken a good look at myself, I somewhat finally understand why it's so frustrating just going to the bathroom. Most guys are like me after all, right? Surely, you'd think they'd develop toilet bowls that can accommodate for our sizes. Please Japan, think of all the young boys suffering from this dilemma!

'How do you like me right now?' said the caption, as if to finally get back at enemies who have long stopped caring about my existence and have moved on to the very next thing that's easy to hate on, as teenagers would do. Heh, suddenly all of this comes across as slightly pathetic, considering they're the reason why this picture even exists. Whatever, it's a pretty damn good way to proving to myself how far I've come, so who am I to really complain?

Welp, now that the fun's over, might as well delete this before Komachi accidentally spots this on my phone. Lord knows, she keeps snooping around when it's inconvenient. Yes, Komachi, I know reading smut isn't something you should be doing, but it's a lot better than actually looking at porn! I at least want to enjoy myself with my imagination rather than looking at crap that's edited to exaggerate proportions. Not that I would know anyways, I've never actually taken time to look at any of that stuff. Hmmm, maybe I could take a gander just to confirm how I compare to others. Oh, wait, no, I already answered my own question, it's altered to make things look much different than it's supposed to naturally look. Either way, compared to such actors, it's likely I'm no special specimen, with or without editing involved anyways.

Now, onwards to the delete button. Hmmm, that's strange, I haven't seen this button before. Must have come with the new software update. Wait, what's this? Send to category? I suppose something like that would be useful to group assignments, but one should really take a look at how it's formatted. For one, it doesn't specify a group chat, and could be sent individually to each person in a certain list. For someone as organized as myself, I divide my family, all my female friends, and Zaimokuza in separate listings for clarity's sake, but there shouldn't be that many situations where you would want to send something to everyone in a particular category unless it's specifically a group made for a task. That's just redundant design right there.

Second, why the hell would you put it that close to the delete picture button? Can you imagine the sheer amount of fuckery that could occur if you send something dumb, like a random cat picture or something personal to your beloved? God, that'll be an awkward situation, surely. Seriously, who designed this phone, it's like its main purpose is to specially cause a scenario that could irrevocably fuck someone's life over as they know it. Well, whatever, I'm not going to be that clumsy. After all, it is I, Hikigaya Hachiman. After all the meticulous planning and machinations I have performed over the eighteen month's I've been in senior high, how could I possibly screw up something so mundane?

Eh, hmmm, the screen's awfully foggy. Maybe I should have waited a while after the shower to ensure the room's been vented out. Bit slippery too, due to the humidity. Well, whatever, no big deal. Aaand, done. See? Just the click of a button, easy as pie. Wow, can't believe how easy it was, just pressing a button to perform a mundane task with absolutely no possible repercussions whatsoever. What, you think you could outplay me, touch screen?

Ha, you clearly have no idea what brilliance you happened to face against.

No longer will a phone hold dominance over me.

No longer will I cower in fear of a stray phone call from my parent's, knowing I might have done something wrong.

No more will I submit to the whims of a cute underclassmen who wishes to demand favors from me in an adorable squeaky voice.

No more, will I worry for my safety, at the behest of a teacher who wormed her way into my contacts in order to deck me from time to time (hey, it's not my fault you have such high standards when it comes to written work, give me a break!).

Though, come to think of it, maybe I should separate her from my list of female friends, since Hiratsuka-sensei's my teacher. Ahh, but that would just put her as the only person in a list. No, Zaimokuza doesn't count, he's my brother-in-arms, so he deserves his own category, thank you very much!

Well, whatever, the point is, the past, the present, and least of all, this phone I hold in my hands. None of them have any control over me anymore! Holding it up face to face, as if I were to make another selfie, I made a satisfied, cocky as hell smirk.

_'How do you like me now!?'_

* * *

_Somewhere, everywhere, the wails of quite a few girls expanded across the afternoon sky. When it subsided, what remained were either giggles or sounds more perverse. Because, little did our main protagonist know, quite a few girls had their eye out for him. It just took quite the trigger to expedite the process of their social values and evolve, or devolve, into something a lot more...carnal._

* * *

Just practicing my grammar skills honestly. Might as well have fun with it. In the future, chapters will center around each girl individually reacting before progressing the story to a second arc the following day. Depending on the situation, I may change the rating, though I'll settle for T right now. This is basically exercise for my writing skills, so I don't really mind the reception. Thanks.

edit: reformatted for the sake of clarity. After looking at other fanfictions, decided to make things clearer


	2. Good Luck Charm (Komachi)

Komachi – Good Luck Charm

Ahhh, I'm bored. So, very bored. There's only so much homework a girl can occupy herself with before she starts to go insane! Geez, if I knew that Sobu had such strict qualifications getting in, I might have actually taken the time to spread things out rather than cram it in such a short amount of time! Why didn't my dumb big brother warn me that the entrance exams were actually this difficult? Come on, give your little sister some kind of hint, will ya, you dummy!

To think, you're the reason that I'm even giving it my all to go Sobu? Well, ok, maybe not just you. Yukino's there, and Yui too. God, I can't imagine the fun that I could have with those two around. Just teasing them all day in regards to their love lives. Haha, you don't think I don't notice the way your eyes light up whenever I talk about my brother doing something silly? Man, how adorable! Big bro's pretty smart, don't think that it hasn't rubbed off on me at all!

Well, I suppose he's not exactly the 'normal' kind of smart, is he? Always over there, doing silly, stupid things for the lot of them, even if it makes them sad. Even if it makes me sad, after hearing it from Yui and arguing with him about it. I suppose being blunt is one of his strengths, even if it's really gross at times. Yes, calling your sister cute is only fine in moderation, you can't just spam that move over and over again like it always works.

…well, ok, no matter how many times he says it, it always does work, just a little bit though. Geez, he keeps winning so many points over those compliments. I should really change the conversion rate on that. Next time, it's ten different compliments for 10 points! Haha, take that, big bro!

…ugghhh, I'm still sooo bored. There's only so much joy coming from talking about your imbecile of a big brother. Ah, maybe a shower might give me a break from all this reading and writing. I need a good stretch anyway.

…Hmmm, is that Hachiman leaving the bathroom? Ehehe, what's with that happy grin? So lame, just looking like that out of nowhere! If you're gonna look so damn happy, at least show me what it was? I want to be entertained too, big bro! Oh, that's it? Just going to head back to your room? Hrmmph, meanie.

….just kidding, still love you dearly 3.

Welp, back to the bathroom. Geez, it's so hot in here? I thought dad told the whole family not to use the hot water too much to save money. Maybe he was playing monk, like he did back when we were kids? Nah, that can't be it. It would have to be cold water, and I don't see him walking out shivering and crying like he did back then. Hehe, so cute.

Hmmm? Looks like he left his phone at the sink? Hehehe, doesn't he realize the things a cheeky little sister will do? Normally, he leaves it all so guarded after last time I read over his texts with the girls? Seriously, onii, you got so many girls in your friends list, can't you take a hint? You're attractive, just go for it! Komachi here, standing by, ready to support you all the way!

Well, anyways, if he's so damn happy, maybe he was just distracted this time 'round. Ah well, better for me. Luckily, he always forget to change his passcode, that goofball. It's almost like you're asking for me to take a peek at your love life. Ah, here we go, let's see what was the last thing you did….

'…KKKKYYYEEEAA-'

I bit my hand to block the scream, ow ow it hurts, ow, why did I bite so hard, I regret my decision so so so so so so much, ow ow, hurts. Ahhhhhh, cold water. That feels better. Now, with that out of the way….

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, BIG BRO?!

Is this even my big brother? Is it an alien, who stupidly decided that Hachiman was an ideal specimen to study, and abducted him in order to look at our biology? Is this boy I'm looking at right now even my brother? AHHH, my eyes! It burns!

…well, not really. Big bro and I have looked at each other naked plenty of times when we were younger, so it doesn't really mean anything anymore. I'm just surprised, why would he even do something like this? Yeah, it's an attractive picture, if I'm not looking at him as if I've grown up with him all my life, but why would he take such a picture. Ahhh, maybe he sent it to his secret girlfriend? Oooohh, now that's a way to distract me from the boring homework! Now let's see who he sent it to.

Oh my god, he sent it to Yukino, I KNEW IT! I KNEW they'd be together! I JUST KNEW IT! I KNEW FROM THE WAY HE WAS LOOKING AT HER AND HER AT HIM AND THEY TO EACH OTHER AND-

Wait, he sent it to Yui too!? What was he thinking! Is…is my big brother secretly a perverted player? I mean, I know he was secretly perverted from how he used to look at Saika-chan, but I didn't think he…

Oh, wait. Oh god, Saika-chan too!? Pervert! Pervert! Dummy! Nincompoop! Hachima-

…ehh? Saki-san too? And…Iroha-chan? There's more!?

…ahhh, Hachiman? You keep saying you don't care about getting a girlfriend, but the truth is, you want a girlfriend so much that you're sending this picture to all of your friends in case one of them is just as pervert as well?

Wow, big bro. That's so creepy.

…no, no, wait a moment. Big bro isn't like that. He's many things, he's straight forward and an idiot a lot of the time, but he's not this kind of person. Let's think this through. Time to use one of Komachi's 108 skills.

_Komachi Technique 23: Big brother detective mode!_

Yes, I keep this secret move in hiding in case I want to know what big brother is doing. Did he steal the last dorayaki? Is he exchanging those silly stories with his big broad friend? Is he secretly gay (oh thanks, Yui for introducing me to Ebina-san, I totally wanted to imagine my brother getting it on with some random blonde guy, eeckh).

Hmmm, lot's of steam in this room. And looking at the screen when you switch to album mode, there's an option which allows you to send to all? Hmmm, look at the time sent again. Hmmm, all at the same time. So he sent it with this convenient button. Right next to the delete opti-

Oh. Ohhhhhhhhhh. Now, that's quite the clumsy mistake, isn't it big bro? So, you must have made a mistake pressing the delete button, but now you just sent a picture of yourself naked to all your female friends. Hmmm, that's quite the pickle.

Let me see the contacts again. Sent 10 minutes ago? Oh, good, there's still time to fix this. No replies, thankfully, so that's good to. Just gimme a sec, gotta send a message to all the girls aaaand….there!

'_Komachi, Hachiman's little sister here! pic accidentally sent, he made a mistake and didn't realze. sorry for my idiot brother's mistake. deleted the picture on his own phone, he doesn't have to know you sent it. Just pretend it didn't happen, k? ty'_

Aaaand, deleted these texts too. Wouldn't want him to see them either. From the list, I can see most of these girls are nice girls, so hopefully nothing goes wrong. Some of these girls I don't know at all, hopefully if they're friends with Hachiman, it should be fine. Buuut, just in case….

_*knock, knock*_

'Hmmm, hello? Oh, Komachi, what's going o-?'

He was quickly interrupted as I brought my lips to his cheek. Awww, he's blushing. Stuttering too, how cute. Seriously, I think that if I wasn't his sister, I would have actually fallen for him, picture not helping. I'm just fine being his sister though. So, all I can do is give him a calm before the storm.

It's going to be wild, and that might be the last time he gets an innocent kiss in a while. If it's Hachiman, he'll be fine, right? He always pulls through when it comes to these kinds of things.

As I turned around, leaving my flustered brother behind me, I took one last glance at him, wondering if he was going to remain intact by tomorrow. Till then, though…

'Good luck, big bro…'

'…huh? What for?'

'Ah? No, it's nothing at all.'

* * *

Just a failsafe to ensure that none of the girls would do the reaslistic thing and respond back to 8man. Nah, we're saving those shenanigans for the day after, once we get to it. I'm also sealing off the incest route as well, since there's no tangible possibility I could write something like that without internally cringing. At the very least, we've got a bubbly persona in Yui once I get to it.

Speaking of, I mentioned before that I'm just using the story in order to practice my grammatical and writing skills. As such, I want to start with the harder prompts first, and then move towards the easier ones. That means I'll be doing side characters first, so the service club and Iroha are probably going to be dead last. Sagami and Meguri, I'm definitely saving for the latter half until I get enough practice. I've already written the draft for Ebina and Orimoto, too, so I'll think about which one I'll start first. Now that I've highlighted my plan, I can't say that I have much of a set schedule. That being said, I doubt any single chapter will be as short as Komachi's, so let's just see what happens.


	3. Missed Opportunity (Orimoto)

Orimoto: Missed Opportunity

It was during an English class when I first heard the word 'déjà vu'. Apparently, it was a French word meaning 'having an impression of something being experienced before', but it became something that other cultures decided to pick up. It's a good word, so I get it. Definitely had quite a couple of times where I swear I've seen the same thing happening again and again.

"Hahaha, I can't believe he would do something like that!"

Case in point, my friend Chika and I.

Geez, you're just giggling at every third statement the guy's saying, ease up on it, girl! At least the topic this time was something worth a chuckle since he's throwing shade at his teammates' mistake during a game. Just earlier, you were laughing over baseball shoes, for goodness sake! Baseball shoes! This guy must be dense as a rock if he didn't pick up on how blatant you are, seriously.

Then again, if you can act the same way during each and every time we head off to a mixer and get similar results, I suppose you would just stick to the ol' fangirling routine. It's not as if I don't enjoy mixers. There's only so many times we get to hang out with friends in our high school lives, and it's definitely one of the more exciting things to do if you get it right. Honestly, it just depends on having good company around.

Chika….wasn't exactly the best when it came down to that.

Oh trust me, she's actually surprisingly bright and sharp when it comes down to it, but I swear, have a cute boy involved, and all of that goes out the window!

_"You got to take me with you, Kaori! Hiro-san's attending this mixer, and I've been crushing on him so hard recently!"_

_"I thought you were crushing on Taro-kun?!"_

_"Oh, that was last week! Besides, Hiro-san's the rising star of the second years, he's definitely much more popular!"_

Ah, Chika. Hypergamous as ever, I see.

Oh, come on, it's so obvious that you're planning on clinging onto his arm. Respect a guy's personal space, Chika, there's only so much that he's got. On the left of the ace of our second years, there's two other girls flirting and giggling at him, could actually mistake them for Chika's siblings with how cookie cutter they're being.

Jeez, were the two of us actually like that with Hayato back then?

Oh god, was THAT how Hikigaya saw me as?

Oh god, oh man, did I really come off as that desperate? I mean yeah, Hayato was a cute guy and all, but still, it's not like I was obsessed or anything! Chika was, _lord knows _Chika was, but I just saw him as a fun guy to be around. Yeah, if he asked me out or something, I probably wouldn't have minded back then.

Emphasis on 'back then', at least.

You know, it probably didn't even take that to figure out he was only tolerating us. Looking back, that smile of his was the exact same every time we spoke. Not too much depth, and didn't reach the eyes. To some extent, it's not as if I could really blame him or anything.

After all, it's not like the two of us seemed anything more than shallow.

Ugh, just thinking back to it makes me cringe. It was a double date, for god's sake. And here we were, making googly eyes at one guy, and completely neglecting the friend he brought along. Someone I even knew way back then.

Or at least, I thought I knew.

"Hey, you're spacing out over there, Orimoto-san!"

It was one of the boys from the mixer that brought me out of my daydreaming. Ah, it was another guy from the baseball team. Pretty loud too, enough that it brought all the attention of the table towards me.

Damnit, I'm trying to regret my life's decisions! Don't bring me back to reality yet!

"Haha, well, with how settled everyone was already, I didn't really feel any need to say anything much!"

It was a lie, of course, but it was so easy to pull off that I got to take notes not to make it too much of a habit. After all, all it takes is a bright, warm smile, and everything resolves and goes on as it did before.

For the record, it's not like I copied this from Hayato. With how many times I need to hang out at the student council, you got to do those kinds of things to keep up appearances. Just happens to work like a charm elsewhere.

I'd say it worked pretty damn well all the way back in middle school as well. Lot more peaceful back then, back when cliques weren't exactly as rough and kids could just flow together naturally. Then puberty kicks in, people start becoming more competitive, and wouldn't you know it, suddenly no one can be honest with each other anymore.

It wasn't exactly as bad for me as for others. I just assumed back then that most people tended to be nice, so I just decided to get along with everyone. Asked them what they were doing here and there, and talked to them for a bit about their day. A couple of waves here, returning a smile there, it would cheer even the most down-trodden people up.

I suppose it was like that, even with Hikigaya too. Despite what most of the girls thought about him back then, I didn't think he was the type of person with any ill intentions. Just a meek and socially awkward kid. With how everyone was treating him, I just decided to nonchalantly give him my contacts one day, out of pity.

That's what made it all the more embarrassing when he finally up and confessed to me. I mean, come on, we barely had any conversations at all, what other response could I have given at the time? Aside from a few texts here and there, and the occasional greeting, it's not like we really knew each other, right?

With that said, to think one of my 'friends' decide to go behind my back and spread around the fact that he decided to confess to me. For god's sake, I had no idea that he was getting harassed through the rest of middle school. Obviously, if I knew, I would have stepped in to stop it!

…haha, is that what I told myself to avoid feeling guilty? Really, Kaori? Even now, you're still going with that train of thought? You're the one who decided to stop talking to him afterward, remember? What's he going to do, talk to the girl who rejected him about how he's being mocked because of it? Damn it, he probably thought you had a hand in all of that!

Ugh, I need a drink All the music and the singing have been going on the whole time and I'm barely paying attention to everything. Ah, these guys are trying to talk to me, right? Just smile and respond, Kaori. They probably don't even notice.

'_Why did you even like me back then so much, Hikigaya? It's not like I did anything special.'_

'_You really didn't do special at all. You were just nice to me when nobody else really did that. And I appreciated that.'_

I guess that was why I wanted to make up with Hikigaya, after all that time. I didn't want to just assume things about people without getting to know them. That day, where we got stood up to by Hayato, made me wonder just what type of guy Hikigaya was if the most popular guy in Sobu was willing to stand up for him.

I was just really, really lucky that he ended up wanting similar. After spending quite a bit of time talking with him after the Christmas event was over, it was a chance for us to really make amends with one another. Considering how blunt he was in that student council meeting, I figured birds of a feather should flock together, right?

'…_I wasn't exactly the angel you thought I was. I was like that with everybody.'_

'_I know that now. All that stuff, regarding my confession? That was my fault. Everything that came after that? It…wasn't fun. You know that, right?'_

You know, it was probably the first time I ever really tried to understand someone. With how I normally am, it's not too hard to make friends with just the bare minimum. So when I realized that I found someone I wanted to work hard at impressing, to want to be friends with someone, part of me felt…excited.

'_What happened, all of it. Do you blame me for that? Honestly, tell me Hikigaya.'_

'…_I wished I could. Even now, just pinning it on you would make things so much easier, wouldn't it? But that's just how youth is, right? It is how it is_.'

He was so…kind, once you got to know him. And funny too. So many things he said was just too damn hilarious. It was the kind of comedy you just wouldn't see in the popular crowd, such outrageous sentences being spoken out loud willy nilly. Honestly, if he were more like that back in middle school, I probably would have tried speaking to him first, reputation be damned.

'_H-how? How could you not blame me after everything that's happened? All those rumors, Chika! I was the cause of all of it!'_

'_You were the cause, but you didn't start any of it. You don't have to feel accountable for things out of your control.'_

Then again, I suppose I was the reason that he became that way in the first place. I hear from his friends at Sobu that he's in outright denial at the possibility that a girl could actually like him. I had every right to reject him, of course. But…he never deserved all the hate he got from others.

I…I never wanted to hurt him.

'_Then how about when I met you and Yukinoshita-san? And the double date with Hayato? Don't try to make me feel better, I know what I did! I knew what happened to you, and I chose to ignore you! Again! How can you even look at me in the eye and not be disgusted!?'_

One time, I was so overwhelmed by guilt that I just decided to cut to the chase. It was late, and we just finished having a shared studying session. He was helping me with English, and I was…well, I wasn't really doing anything much.

Whenever we decided to hang out, I just spent a lot of time looking at him. It felt…warm, and nice. I thought it was just because he was one of those 'true friends' that I was looking for. Someone who really got me.

But I was feeling pretty moody at the time. Spending time with him, I just wanted to let the past lie. It was so awkward to bring up or even think about that I wanted to bury it deep. Regret's a strong feeling though, and at that point, I was just at my limit. I just had to get it out.

'_It's not that there aren't bad qualities about you, Orimoto. For one, you're brash, absolutely blunt and at times you can be pretty dense to a lot of things around you. To be fair, I'm the same, so that's maybe why we're friends now. But, even back then, I knew back then…'_

I was on the verge of tears.

'_That deep down inside, you were never a bad person.'_

And…I just lost it. Flung myself into his arms, like a cheesy romantic drama. Weeping in his shoulder, apologizing to the point where I wasn't even saying proper words anymore.

He felt soo warm. I can still remember how hard my heart was beating.

Yeah. I fell in love with Hikigaya Hachiman.

And that's kindaaa the problem right about now. See, reconciliation is a…long process. Takes quite a while to fully patch up those old wounds.

Chances are, it's going to take quite a while before a chance comes up where I'm able to confess to him. We just rekindled friendship, I don't want to ruin it immediately just because of a sudden confession!

And the worst part about is just how many girls also want to get into his pants! I mean, Jesus Christ, Hikigaya! Thank you for being so dense, but did you sacrifice yourself saving a lifeboat of children in a past life? How the actual hell are there so many pretty girls after your ass!?

Ugh, for all I know, he probably has a crush on one of them. As if he's going to develop feelings for a relationship this recent, let alone from a girl who's rejected him.

I really need to take the initiative eventually, otherwise he'll be out of my reach forever. And I'm not as strong as him, I don't think I'll be able to take rejection that well. Crap, I just started trying to reach out to him, I can't just take such a big step! What do I do, what do I d-

(bzzzzzzt)

…oh, was that my phone? Well, I guess I need to take a break from Hikigaya for now. I think I'll just have some water, and take the mike for a bit. I could use a distraction.

…hmmm? Two texts from Hikigaya? Out of the blue? Well, I suppose just a little peek is fine. Let's see here….

….ehhh? Hikigaya accidentally sent a picture? Haha, man, how careless can you be? That's hilarious!

Well, let's just open this to see exactly what he sent. Oh, I hope it's something embarrassing! Maybe I can blackmail him into hanging ou-

"HOLY SHIT!"

Wha- why on…what kind of-

OH my GOD! That body! And….oh sweet lord, he's wet! And…fucking hell….

That's…that's definitely interesting, that thing he's got there.

"Orimoto-san, are you alright!?"

Oh, right. People are here. Uninteresting people. Go away, uninteresting people. I have interesting picture to look at. Go now.

"Uh, just a jump-scare my friend sent me! Nothing, nothing's wrong! It's cool!"

Ah, good, everyone's calmed down and laughing now. Hopefully, we can all move past this and head back to the pic.

"Hahaha, oh man! That reaction was soo funny!" one of the girls giggled. "What even scared you that badly? Can I see?"

"NO!"

She suddenly flew back. Damn better. Not yours. Mine. _Mine. _Not yours. Get your own Hikigaya.

"I mean, uh…no! I-it's too freaky, haha! I don't want to scare you too!"

Anyways, back to the picture.

PfffffthahahAHAHAHA! I can't believe he would send something like this accidentally! Oh man, Hikigaya, you've outdone yourself this time! You never disappoint! This is funny! Too funny! You actually sent a nude photo of yourself to a girl! Wow, I didn't know you had it in you! Oh, wow, his sister even discovered it! Man, I wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Just having to discover your brother doing this! Having to spend time in the same house as him. Getting to eat with him. _Getting to see him as he gets out of the shower._ _Getting to get a glimpse of those muscles as he exits the bath._

Shit, no wonder he felt so…._strong _as he took me into his arms. God, I was resting myself on _those _shoulders. My mouth was sobbing while covered by _that _chest. Damnit, that uniform really hid all the good bits.

Aaaaalllll the good bits.

"Er, Kaori? You're drooling."

Huh? Who was this? Oh, right. This girl. Who's my friend. What's her name again? Chisa? Chigusa? Chika, that's right! Oh right, you're still here. Oh, right, this was supposed to be a mixer.

"Huh? Oh, nothing Chika. Just daydreaming for a little bit."

"Aha, I see! Probably thinking about Hayato, no doubt."

Who's Hayato? Oh, right. That guy. Forgive me, I was busy getting my panties wet over my crush sending me a picture of his abs and his delicious-

"EHHHHH!? So, was it true that you actually went out on a date with Hayato one time?"

Oh god, who said it this time? Ah, one of the other girls, huh?

"Yeah, Chika and I got to hang out with him and another guy on two different occasions."

All of a sudden, attention came off from Hiro-kun (for those of you who don't remember, he's a boy that's not Hachiman), and went onto me. Figures, Hayato's some kind of a diety at this point. To pull off two dates with the undisputed 'Prince of Sobu High' is probably some kind of accomplishment or something.

"Oh my GOD!" one of the girls yelped out, surprising me with her sudden outburst.

Wait, what are all of you guys doing, surrounding me and Chika? Wait, holy, crap, calm down a bit! Can't answer all of these questions, one at a time!

'What was he like?'

'Are you guys dating?'

'Is he single?'

'Do you know what kind of things he like?'

'What brand of shampoo does he use?'

So many questions, asking what he's like, almost like they want some pointers in trying their hand at romancing the boy themselves. Ugh, they do realize that if he really wanted a girlfriend, he probably has his pick of the crop at his own high school, right?

Especially with the disproportionate nummber of hotties that seems to be enrolled in that blasted school. I mean, come on, what are the chances of there being so many 10/10's!?

"Wait, you said you hung out with someone else? Was he cute?"

Oh, crap, that question was pointed towards Chika. Damn it, the one question that I wanted pointed at me, and not her.

I mean, I was going to answer it properly. It's not like I was going to gush about how adorable he was when he's embarrassed or a little sad, how sweet and caring he is whenever he decides to get off his cute butt in order to help others in need, and how I want him to love me and kiss me and hold me close in those cold, cold nights….

Focus, Kaori. Focus.

"Haaah, yeah, there was, but honestly, the guy was completely dull."

…oh, god, Chika, what are you doing?

"I mean, normally any guy standing next to Hayato would look dull, right? But this guy looked like he was trying to go out of his way to be as boring and lame as possible!"

The girls started giggling, probably imagining Hikigaya out to be some kind of an incompetent dork. Well, yeah, but he's my dork!

"I mean, this guy's suggestions were so backwards, seriously! Through some giant leap in logic, he thought Saizeriya was a good place to eat out with two girls!"

Oh great, now even some of the guys are starting to laugh at Hikigaya's expense, as if they know anything. Wow, gee, thanks Chika. After telling you to lay off rambling about the guy (cause yeah, HE was totally the reason the date with Hayato went kaput), here you are, making him out to be some outcast in front of people he can't defend himself against.

"And, here's the kicker! In the past…"

…oh no.

"-he went and…"

Please don't do this to me, Chika.

"-actually tried to confess! Against Orimoto of all people!"

Laughter came roaring afterwards. I wasn't laughing.

"Oh my god, are you serious? To Orimoto?"

"Hahaha, who does he think he is? Taking girls to Saizeriya, of all places?"

"Oh, jeez, the nerve of that guy! Haha, man. Can you imagine, Kaori-chan? Can you imagine dating a guy like that?"

"…yeah, actually."

"HAHA, I know, right? ….wait, what?"

Chika's face suddenly fell, as did everyone else in the mixer. All eyes went on me, the girls looking at me with disbelief and the guys with thinly veiled jealousy.

Pffft, confess to me first, and maybe you'll have half the balls Hikigaya's got.

_Or, judging by his size, not even a quarter. _

"Excuse me for a moment, I'm just going to have a quick talk with Chika. Just continue as if nothing's happened."

Pulling the bewildered girl outside for a moment, she immediately squeaked as I slammed my hand right behind her, hitting the wall. _Huh, isn't this what they call the kabedon. Mmmm, maybe I'll have Hikigaya do it to me sometime…_

"I'm sorry, Kaori, but are you serious!? With him!? What the hell is going on here!?"

What's going on? What's going on? She's as shallow as a kitchen sink and she's got the balls to tell me off on what's going on?

..ok, then. I'll show you what you missed.

Pulling out my phone, I went to the album and did a quick edit of the _treasure_ I had inherited. Just a quick crop off the bottom. _She doesn't deserve to see what belongs to momma. _

"There!" I shouted, shoving the picture of the cropped god taking residence in my phone. "That's the guy you just said was 'dull' to everyone in the room! As it turn's out, he's a fucking amazing guy once you got the chance to know him! He's kind, he's smart, and it turns out he's a fucking hottie to boot! So before you go about all your claims about how he's _sooooo_ lame, maybe buy some glasses, you blind bimbo!"

…huh. She didn't really respond to anything I just said. She was just staring at the phone. Hah, I guess you've finally seen the light, haven't you Chika. Maybe now, you'll learn not to judge someone by their cove-

"OH MY GOOOOOD! HE'S SOOOO HOT!"

…wait. _What?_

"OHHH MY GOOOOD, KAOOOORIIII! HE'S PERFECT! Look at that stare! And those abs! And those _arms! _Is he nude? Oh, my god, is he taking it while getting out of the shower? Holy shit, he's _soooooo_ sexy! Screw Hiro-kun, can I get his number Kaori? Maybe set a date up between the two of us? I promise, I won't screw this one up like I did with Hayato. I promise that with him, I'll do _anything_ to make sure everything goes right."

….ok, you know what? I'm motivated now. Thank you, Hikigaya's dick pic. I now understand what I must do.

"EEEEEP!" Chika squealed as I pinned her arms against the wall. Heh, if anyone were to see us right now, they'd probably think I was about to make out with her.

_Sorry, you're cute and all Chika. But you ain't Hachiman._

"Listen here, bitch. I'm only going to say this once, because you're my friend, Chika. Hikigaya is _off-limits_. You don't get to do anything with him. Especially not after that crap you pulled inside. You had your shot getting to know him in the date we had. It's _your_ fault you didn't even try to get to know him better. Now you've lost it. So, I'm going to give you one warning. Stay. Away. From. _My. Beloved. _Got that?"

…huh. Didn't think my voice could ever go that deep. Damn, even I'm scaring myself.

Seems to have done the trick, though. The poor girl is shuddering, violently shaking her head to make sure I'm getting the message that she's out of the picture. Almost feel bad. _Almost._

"That's a good girl," I chuckled, patting her head affectionately, after pushing her so hard her wrists might have snapped. "Now, go back in there and tell them that I'm just in a bad mood because I was keeping a stomachache in, and that I'll be in the bathroom for…quite a while."

"E-ehhh? It doesn't look like you're having a stomachache right now!"

…..

"…o-oh. So you're planning on-"

"Yep."

"With the-"

"Uh-huh."

"….can I at least get another peek of that picture?"

"Maybe after I make him mine. Maybe if I'm feeling a little nice, I'll be willing to share."

She suddenly nodded her head a little _too _enthusiastically, and went inside surprisingly cheerful. Maybe I shouldn't have said that. I wasn't exactly keen on letting someone else have him.

Then again….seeing Chika, shallow bitch that she is, getting dominated by Hikigaya while moaning his name and calling him master?

Now that's a satisfyingly hot thought. Maybe I might consider it after all.

Till, then, to the bathrooms. I'm in dire need of…relieving myself from all the pent-up stress.

_Next time I see him, I'll do whatever's necessary. I swear it._

I already missed one opportunity with him. I don't exactly regret rejecting him even now, but damn, was it a missed opportunity if it meant being able to have **him** right now.

I'm not wasting my second chance. Hehehe. You thought I was a nice girl, Hikigaya? Honestly, I just wanted to be what everybody needed of me. Just say the words, though. Say it, and I'll be whatever you need me to be.

* * *

You know, looking back at writing this, I'm kind of amazed how the first half was so dramatic and the second half being so...yandere-ish. Ehhh, what can you do. Orimoto's probably one of the harder characters to write a background for, since it's pretty hard to go from being so neglectful to falling in love without editing her backstory. I could have taken some liberties here and there, but I was afraid it would change the character too much. It does make sense for her to reject 8man from her perspective, after all.

Anyways, Hina's next. She's definitely loads easier to write, so I'll probably have an easier time. I'd like to say this is the rate of how fast updates would come, but 1. University and 2. Fire Emblem. Ehhh, just think of every chapter save Komachi's as a one shot. That'll make things easier to digest.

Also, I think I accidentally added Chika of all people in. That's a thing. Maybe I'll add a gag chapter about her or something.


	4. OTP (Ebina)

Ebina: OTP

"I…I didn't know you felt that way about me," Hayato whispers, on the verge of tears as his feelings has been reciprocated after all this time."

"Indeed. It was hard for me to finally admit it, but…I truly care for you."

"Hiki…no, Hachiman. I…I…".

….well? What else? Come on, there's got to be something! A love confession this early wouldn't make any sense! They've got to slowly move into that position, otherwise the whole thing is just going to seem forced! Ugggh, come on, brain. There's got to be something they can say.

Tch, writer's block can be a total bitch sometimes. You'd think with the power to fantasize anything you want, it should be easy as hell to slash two attractive boys together. After all, focus on a couple interactions here, make them appear quite intimate and bam! You got yourself a damn good ship!

Then again, considering the subject matter we got in this situation…

It really was never like this when it was shipping Hayato with anyone else. That radiant smile and personality of his was so…malleable. You could basically do whatever you wanted with such material because of how many roles he was able to play.

You want a charming prince? Check.

A charismatic jock? Check.

A soft, kind sweetheart? Check.

Case in point, the play with Totsuka. Oh, man, if only we knew at the time that Totsuka was actually a girl. Ah, well, was pretty damn hot in the moment.

Nah, the main roadblock when it comes to a damn good fantasy was good old Hikitani. Well, actually, his name was Hikigaya, but by this point it's more of an affectionate nickname than anything too malicious. Though, Yumiko keeps calling him Hikio for some weird reason. Wonder where she got that from?

The point is, out of all the guys I've seen in Sobu, Hikita-well, Hikigaya's been by far the most complicated one when it comes to understanding his character. There's just simply no one like him among our year level, let alone the whole school, and compared to everyone else, he seriously sticks out like a sore thumb. Which is ironic, since he apparently tries his best to blend into the background.

I mean, seriously, that was supposed to be one of his 108 skills, right? Haha, that's overdoing it, even for a gal like me.

Unfortunately, it hasn't exactly stopped others talking about him though.

It's pretty logical that we can't understand everything about anyone. In fact, it can get pretty damn difficult just to dissect even one person. At the start, even I felt like that towards Yumiko and Yui where at the beginning, they just came across as inoffensive. Normal, teenage girls doing normal, teenage girls things. Honestly, I just thought that they kept me around because I was up to standards when it came to looking pretty. Yeah, I'm a rotten girl of my own admission, but I'll at least take enough pride to groom myself properly.

Time went by, though, and pretty soon, it turns out that those two were anything but simple. Yumiko, for all her abrasiveness when it came to any other girl in remote proximity with Hayato, had far too much of a maternal instinct than one would expect from her, let alone any girl for her age. You'd think her handbag was comprised of only the most esteemed of makeup and trendy gadgets. Instead, it had a spare water bottle for when people needed it, and even quite the bulky first aid kid for when anyone else in the clique got hurt. Hell, I even saw her doing some impromptu sewing on some underclassmen's dress when she accidentally bumped the poor girl into a flower hedge.

Yui too, was definitely far more of a complicated girl than I thought her to be. With nice, bubbly girls like her, you just assume that she's found herself in a pretty good spot, or at the very least got her shit together a lot better than other high schoolers. With enough chats in the middle of the night, though, that clearly wasn't the case. She was insecure about a lot of things. About how smart she was. About how people seemed to view her as a surface-level beauty. Enough that it took me and Yumiko quite a lot of nights to assure her that she was just fine the way she was, and that she only needed to look to improving. Heh, she really was such a sweet girl.

As of late, however, a lot of conversation tended to center around all the drama that's been making its rounds recently. As members of the most popular clique in our second year, it was quite trivial for us to figure out all the juicy gossip that's lingering about. The most popular hotspots, all the current trends.

Of course, certain news about select individuals would also become commonplace.

In our year level, we're generally known as the 'golden generation' when it comes to beauties. There's us, the members of the Service Club. Saki-chan and Totsuka-chan have also gotten pretty massive reception as time went by. And with all the sympathy points that came from Hikigaya's incident at the culture festival, you can add Sagami to the list as well. You could imagine my shock when I found myself listed among such maidens. I'd honestly consider it an honor, if not for all the confessions I've been forced to reject the past year.

And that's kind of the problem that's going on. See, if girls like us, who garners a lot of attention because of our looks (and in Yui and Totsuka's case, their personality), whoever we choose to spend our time on also gets a share of the spotlight. For any normal guy, they would just look at any time spent with them to be a highlight of their day, if not week. In the case of Hayato, that's just expected. He radiates his own light, so it's not like he gets any more benefit from getting to hang out with us.

Now Hikigaya, on the other hand, that's when shit hits the proverbial fan.

Ever since the incident with Sagami, his reputation had taken a turn for the infamous, and most of the other students spread around pretty damning things about him. That's been further compounded by the collaboration event with Kaihin High. While the Christmas Event turned out to be a success, that for some reason wasn't important to a lot of folks.

No, what seemed to be the 'important' news was the idea of Isshiki-san spending quite some time hanging out with the school outcast.

Isshiki was already known for her cute demeanour, but her becoming Student Council President skyrocketed her popularity even further, to the point where she's considered the de-facto most popular girl in the whole school. Which is why her spending an inordinate amount of time with Hikigaya has unfortunately drawn quite the ire of Sobu's male population.

It didn't stop there. Pretty soon, people started to realize just how much female attention Hikigaya was receiving, especially considering that they all coincidentally happened to come from the aforementioned beauties of Sobu. For the boys, barring our clique and my brother-in-arms Zaimokuza, he must have been resorting to blackmail in order to hang out with us. For the girls, it just meant that we were brainwashed or fooled or something silly among those lines. The worst of them assumed that we were the type of crowd who would 'put out' for any guy. Hayato quickly put a stop to the latter. I don't think I've ever seen him come so close to getting pissed of in my entire time knowing him. Haha, now dominant, unrestrained Hayato. Quite the titillating thought, I must say…

Come to think of it, I guess Hikigaya's become a lot more popular recently when it came to women. Heh, I only wish he could have been like that when it came to the boys though. Tobe's come around at least. Makes it much easier for my three-way fantasies to come true, hehehe! Two popular, strong jocks understanding the troubles of a pained, troubled intellectual and then ahem…_taking care_ of him. Ahh, why do I have to be such an angst slut? He fits the bill so damn perfectly!

…he really was damn reliable when it mattered, though. Regardless of whatever things he had to deal with. Really, the first sign that he was more than he seemed was from for Hayama acted after the incident with Sagami. Everyone else who was there physically had already outed Hikigaya as a callous bastard, what with bringing an innocent girl to tears by attempting to drag her down to his level. That just became the most accepted version of what transpired, only because no one else bothered to rebuke it.

And yet, looking at Hayama's expressions whenever that topic was brought up in our clique, his visage always faltered whenever Hikigaya was mentioned in a negative manner. Normally, if someone really was just scum of the earth, like what the whole school dismissed him as, you wouldn't really think twice about mocking them for it.

Suffice to say, there's got to be more to it if it makes someone as morally upright as Hayama to hesitate.

It wasn't like I also participated in mocking him. I've interacted with him enough before the festival to know that all the rumors were exaggerating how much of a scumbag he was. With that said, my outlook on him was still pretty confused. Not good, not bad, not even neutral. Just…unclear.

How Yui and Saika-chan interacted with him was the second, more obvious hint as to what he really was like. Everyone else probably dismissed it, since they were two of the most wholesome students in the whole school. _They're just being nice to him out of courtesy, nothing more_, was probably the general consensus among out peers.

I mean, if they actually stopped and looked like I did and payed attention to the sheer amount of effort in their attempts to talk with him throughout class, anyone could have seen it wasn't as simple as that.

It was around the time where Tobe was planning on confessing to me that I asked Hayama what should be done in this situation. He offered to help however he could, but he pointed me over to the Service Club since they've practically got a flawless track record when it came to assisting the student body with their affairs. It was then that I realized he practically sent me to get Hikigaya's help: Yukinoshita wasn't a member of our class, so she wouldn't have much proper context compared to him and Yui. And Yui was already aware of the situation regarding Tobe, since we've talked about it with Yumiko. Why was Hayama so intent on putting so much trust on the pariah of our school, I wonder? Well, as someone who could never pass up an opportunity on a potential BL crush, my curiosity was definitely piqued.

It was then while I was discussing about my clique with the Service Club that I began to realize just what Hayama was talking about. All my sentences and thoughts, no matter how vague or seemingly unimportant it was to the conversation, he always seemed to try to dissect every bit of it, almost like I was some puzzle that needed figuring out. _That's why he trusted you so much_, I thought to myself. You were able to read the lines, so even if I hesitated in speaking out what my true concerns were, I could always count on you to see it through.

And he did. To be honest, when he confessed me under the stars, in that setting with his hair covered over his eyes from rushing towards us, my heart honestly skipped a beat or three. Even now, I had no idea if I was flustered or shocked, since I couldn't have expected that he would try to fix this situation in this kind of way.

'_So that was what happened with Sagami', _I thought in that moment, my entire body stiffened while my mind was reeling in several directions before I could figure out what to do.

He suffered. Put himself through that humiliation for my sake. The two of us barely even knew each other, and he decided to save my clique's stability by putting himself in the gutter.

"_Maybe I'd be able to go out with you, Hikitani-kun."_

It was a statement that I barely put much thought in. After having to hold so much in the past couple days during that trip, I guess I just wanted to freely vent out what was on my mind. I think that in that moment, I just truly appreciated having someone I could talk to honestly.

"_If you say stuff like that so casually, someone might fall in love with you."_

_Like you, Hikitani? _Was what I wanted to say, before stopping myself. All of a sudden, the familiar feeling of my heartbeat skipping came back sporadically, almost as if it was accentuated with a resounding scream. Twice in less than twenty-four hours, the same boy had managed to make my heart move at a speed I've never felt before.

Was it that I became enamored that day? Maybe back then, it really might have been the start of it all.

You know, before all of these events transpired, did you know how much I shipped all the boys in my clique together with each other? Hayama/Yamato, Tobe/Yamato, Ooka/Tobe, Hayama/Tobe. To me, there were so many intricate combinations, so much room for nuance and fantasy that made it so enticing for me to imagine such delicious scenarios. Ones that would put a large smirk to my face, since I could also indulge in its degeneracy-I mean, intimacy.

Afterwards, however? There was not a single time my daydreams could bring me to the same sense of euphoria if Hikigaya was absent from any of them. Haha, he actually ruined my love for other ships! Now it was either him with someone or bust. Hayama was easily the most consistent fantasies I had, followed by Saika-chan before it turned out that 'he' was actually a 'she'. As long as he was there, I could still feel that same passion as I've always had.

And to think, it was all due to a small, tiny crush that I had on him.

…that eventually blew up into fully blown yearning.

"_Well, if you're still embarrassed about that time you confessed to me, I'll at least be flattered at being the first girl you've ever done something like that to at Sobu. You're a good guy, after all."_

"_Heh. Well, at the very least, you're definitely taking it a lot better than the last time I confessed to someone."_

"…_last time?"_

"…_ehhh, it was pretty rough, I'll admit. Doubt you'd be interested in hearing about it."_

"…_come on, tell me. Even if it's rough, we're friends, right?"_

"…_heh. Guess we are, aren't we?"_

It was just a spur of the moment decision that I had made about a month or two after school trip. I indulged in casual conversation with Hikigaya whenever we crossed paths. Most of the time, however, it was just me drooling over just how hot it would be for him to enter Hayato's strong, warm embrace.

Hey, a girl can dream, can't she?

This time, however, part of me was feeling…envious.

_Who was this girl that he confessed to, I wonder? How exactly did it end?_

Afterwards, I learnt a lot from him. How he had issues regarding interacting with others back then. How it messed him up when it came to having friends, and how he fell for _that girl_ because she was nice to him. He didn't skim out on the details to make him look good either. Went out of his way to portray himself as this sad, pathetic kid. He probably thought that something like that would turn me away from asking more about it, considering the effort he put in.

It just made me want to ask more.

Then came the confession, and the rejection, and then getting abandoned and harassed and a whole bunch of other unhappy things. I honestly didn't think it would be that bad.

As a fujoshi, often we tend to find angst quite appealing. Perpetuates the underdog story, makes us feel that someone needed to be desperately loved, and to have someone else finally offer them the affection they truly craved sends us to quite the high.

This, however, was probably the first time I ever had to listen to such experiences firsthand. Regardless of how…weird I can admittedly be at times, I generally managed to get away from harassment just because I was attractive. Especially in a place as openly judgmental as junior high, it really must have been rough for him. He really did come across as someone who went through a lot of struggles to get where he was.

And wouldn't you know it, I feel for him even harder because of it, hook, line and sinker.

Gods, why did I have to be such an angst slut?

Now, part of me just wanted to help him get over it, to make him feel better. To be appreciated and loved, like he deserves. No one who's gone that far to hep others deserved to be in such a low place. Thank god things have been getting a lot better for him recently. Now, he smiles much more often. It's a much appreciated sight, I must admit.

As much as my feelings for him grew, though, I just didn't have it in me to follow through. After what I made him do, I can't be the one to take care of him. It…it just wouldn't be right. Not with a girl like me, who desperately wanted everything to stay the same rather than face reality head on. He wouldn't want that of a soulmate. Especially now, with Yui and even Yumiko longing for him. Hell, even Sagami is starting to trade glances with him once in a while, just what the hell is going on there?! Damnit, you womanizer, you still think you're so damn unappealing when you're surrounded by that many girls?!

Speaking of, they still give him problems now, you know? He gets quite a bit of flack solely because he's dismissed as this creepy, hunched guy. You look at people from far away, there's only so much you can really examine. The pretty seem pretty, and the ugly remain ugly. Stand closer, and really look at someone's face, however, and there really are a lot of nuances. A girl can have blemishes, and wrinkles, and their make up might falter in some places. Hikigaya, was no different.

His eyes, while creepy, always had this glimmer of kindness inside it. No matter how much he denied it, he truly wanted to help people, and when he did, his eyes glinted like a diamond in the rough. And when he actually fixed his posture for a change, he seemed…broader. You could see intricacies of muscle appearing from his shirt. And then there are those times where he gives those cocky smirks of his. And whenever he has to deal with a hard question while he's studying, he bites those _lips of his…_

Ok, fine, I spy on him all the damn time in class! God, when did I suddenly start blushing so hard!? Goddamnit, Hikitani! You're supposed to get the boys all hot and bothered, not me!

Screw this, the fanfic's is getting nowhere! For god's sake, there's supposed to be more than one guy, everything I've written so far has just been focusing on Hikigaya!

Craaaaap, the story was about to reach it's climax, I can't just leave it as it is! God, this is starting to get really troublesom-

(bzzzzzt)

Sigh, probably Yui again. Figures, school's starting again and we needed to catch up regarding our assessments. Though it's a lot earlier than when we normally call, though? Huh, maybe she just had a lot of questions and wanted to take initia-

**Oh, my god. **

W-well, that's…ah, hmmm. Oh, my. Ah.

I mean, I was trying _not _to get distracted by Hikigaya, so this text isn't really my fault, you know? If I had known that I was being sent such a…._breathtaking_ picture, I probably would have turned my phone off, maybe study or something…

Yeah, it…_**really **_isn't my fault at all that a picture of Hikigaya…naked….wet...happened to be sent to my phone. It….I can't really help it, since it's such a…_unique_ picture and all. Naturally, one would be curious at being sent such a delicious-I mean, distinct, distinct, **that's what I meant**. Well, if Hikigaya's…_so_ willing to send such a pic to me, I suppose I can't exactly deny him if he wanted me to….examine through _all of those muscles_ and that **piercing gaze **as he shows off his-

(bzzzzzt)

Hmmm? Another message from Hikigaya? _Did you want to know my reaction that badly, you naughty boy?_

Ah, wait, it's his sister. Hmm? Wait, he sent this by accident? Are you serious? In this day and age?

Hahaha, and here I was, thinking that you were all cool and calculated, Hikitani! Looks like even you can get clumsy from time to time!

_Maybe this is the inspiration I needed._

…ehh? Brain, wha-what are you saying? If he sent it by accident, I can't just use that! That's so immoral!

_Hasn't stopped you or your fantasies before. Why stop now?_

I-I mean, I'm a girl! Normally, I reserve this kind of thinking for when guys get it on, th-this is unknown territory for me! Besides, I'm not going to get anything done right now, this photo is starting to get really….REALLY distracting! Can't even think about Hayato right now…

_Well, you could always imagine him masturbating, isn't there?_

…oh, no. That-that's never going to work. I mean, he's just going to be by himself, right? T-there's no real point to him, all by himself, just…touching himself….panting and moaning….thinking about his girl…

GUY! GAY, I mean guy! Yeah, that's right! The story wouldn't be appealing at all if he's all by himself! Just…rubbing himself, thinking of that special, _special _someone as his thoughts slowly drip into sin…

Nope! No no no, I've already resolved that I don't belong with Hikigaya, this train of thought is ending, right now!

You know what, brain! Fuck you, I'm inspired now! I'll write the smuttiest, horniest fic of Hayato and Hachi-Hiki**tani**, and it'll be **hot! **Super hot! I'll start right now!

"_I'll show you just how much you mean to me," Hikigaya __**growled**__ as his hands started to pin Hayato against the wall._

"_W-wait! Stop! This is going too fast, my mind can't keep up with all of this," the blonde whined. No one ever expected the shorter boy to be so damn aggressive, let alone so strong. _

"_You want to know why I fell so hard for you?" his breath entered the ear of his captive. "You really want to know?"_

"…_y-yes, Hachiman. W-what was it?" _

"_Because you and I are the same. You and I might come from two different worlds, but deep down, you and I are both rotten to the core…"_

"_H-hachiman…" _

"_There's so many things that's boiling us from the inside, yet we're too shackled to do anything about that! You and I, we both want to be free…" _

"_Hachiman!" _

"_I guess it was a lot worse for you than it was for me, wasn't it? At least I can be as honest as I want. I don't give a shit about what others think! That's not stopping me now, either!"_

"_Hachiman…" the girl whined, finding herself submitting to that strong, yearning gaze._

"_I….I don't want you to have to hold it in any longer. At the end of the day, you want things to stay the same, you don't want it all to end. You care about them, about all of them. And that's what stops you from saying what you want to say. Do what you want to do."_

_Ebina shivered as she felt his breath on her face, on her lips. It was so unfamiliar, so…entoxicating._

"_I'm the same. I've started to finally have people I care about, and I'll do anything for them. Even so, there are times that even I can't bear it all by myself. Sometimes, I feel alone. But you're just like me, right? We can be honest to each other, can't we?"_

"_Y-yes…" _

"_Hina, someday I want to change all of this. I want something genuine, for me, for all of them. But it'll be slow, and steady, and I need someone by my side in this long road ahead. So please…."_

_Their lips came closer, their eyes hazed and weary, the boy and girl almost consumed my lust and wanting. _

"_I love you. Please…be with me."_

"…_of course…Hachiman." _

_Their lips finally collided, with nothing else holding them back. Nothing could limit their desires anymore._

…w-well, this…took a detour. I mean, it was starting so well….and now it's suddenly shifted to include…him and me. Me. And him. Together. Him pinning me against the wall…doing things with his tie and shirt and…slowly taking off my dress and his trousers as he…

_Makes me his._

…ah, shit. Sorry, Yui. Yumiko. I don't think I can just stand back anymore.

Haha, I'm going to have to start another draft. This story's already been compromised to hell and back, I don't even know what the original premise was anymore.

But first…I'm just gonna lock the door and…lie down for a bit.

See, when you've read so many smutty stories of fellas getting it on, you start to have quite the…vivid imagination when it comes to how things go down in the bedroom.

And as hot as they are, I think this is going to be the first time I'll fantasize about participating myself.

Ah, great. You got another girl aiming towards you, Hikigaya. You happy? Bet you are, you smug, sexy bastard.

But fine. Be that way. I'll play along. A rotten girl for rotten eyes, if that's what you really want.

_If that's really what you want…I'll be that girl. It'll be for your eyes only._

* * *

I'll be honest, the biggest exercise for me in terms of writing the stories is to try and get the girls correct. This involves making sure the language and way of thinking matches their character enough that it doesn't break immersion. While it'll probably be harder for me in the future (especially for girls like Yui, where I might have to use a thesaurus to make the language intentionally more basic), it's easier here, since I've always considered Ebina to secretly have a serious side, based on her conversation with 8man and the subtle expressions during Tobe's confession arc. I did have to revise the draft quite a bit to include her fujoshi characteristics, since otherwise it'll be mainly exposition regarding Hachiman's position in the school. While other girls will do similar things in their side, I decided to put most of it in Ebina's side since it fits in line with her particular arc.

Anyways, as for the next character, I think it's better to mix the underrated characters with the more popular ones, so that you guys aren't blueballed from what you're waiting for. Honestly, my main plan was to have **fem! Totsuka** next, but since some people might not be able to suspend their disbelief for a genderbend, I'll just go for a more conventional choice. Instead, **Yumiko's **the next story. Since I'm already done with planning out Totsuka's draft, I'll spend extra time to complete both stores, and then release them within days of each other. That way, you get one popular and one underatted (?) character without having to wait. Afterwards, I'll just do one at a time. So, yeah, be prepared to wait weeks.


	5. A Spoonful of Sugar (Yumiko)

Note: minor retcon I made in the first chapter. Instead of him sending the email at night, he sent it midday instead. Edited first chapter to showcase the situation, luckily every other chapter doesn't need any editing. Just happens to open up a lot more opportunities, otherwise I might end up having a failure of imagination.

Anyways, without further ado, the story…

* * *

Yumiko: A Spoonful of Sugar

"You know, you really remind me of my mom sometimes, you know that Yumi?" the pink-haired girl blurted out randomly.

Ehhh? Where did that come from all of a sudden?

"Ahhh? Is that supposed to be a compliment or something, Yui?"

"Y-yeah, it is! You're really soft and warm and motherly whenever we get hurt and stuff!"

G-geez, you really know how to get people flustered on the spot, don't you Yui? And still, you wonder why you're so popular with the guys.

"Huh. I…I never really noticed that…."

"Ehhh? Remember that time when Tobe fell down some stairs?"

This time Hina was the one who chimed in. "You were panicking so hard, constantly pestering him if any bones were broken!"

"Well, I mean…it looked like it was a high drop, wasn't it Hina? Who wouldn't be worried over something like that!"

I mean come on, it's not like what's shown in the movies, honestly. You fall from enough steps or roll into a bad enough position, a couple broken bones would have been the best of it all!

"Miura, the guy literally fell a grand total of two steps, and landed on carpet. Babies would have been able to shrug that off."

"W-well, now to be fair, from where I was looking, it looked a lot worse! I guess I _did_ overreact. Just a smidge though."

The brunette sighed, looking thoroughly unconvinced. Oi, Minami, if there's something else you wanna say, out with it. I'm all ears.

"Pfffft, then how bout that time you went all in on Ooka and Tobe over what their diet was? Maybe if it was Hayato, I would get it, but seriously."

"I mean, have you looked at their diet recently, Minami?" There's nothing healthy about it! Just the cheap crap you can get from the vending machines! No nutrition whatsoever!"

"Chill, girl. It's only some chips and sweets, no need to get so worked up over it."

"Do you even comprehend how many calories that goes into those things? Especially that brand and all its sugary bullshit?!"

"Huh, 'sugary bullshit'. I mean, I knew you were uptight even before I started hanging out with you guys, but I didn't think it would go this far."

"Oh, shut it, Mina."

Sigh, it's been about a month or so since Minami Sagami's joined the clique and we're still butting heads all the time. I mean, I guess she hasn't been so bad this whole time, but it's been much rowdier these days. Whether or not it's better than what it was in the past, I'm still deciding.

Well, at the very least, things have definitely been a lot more lively recently.

"W-well, the point is, Yumi, you're practically the team mom with how you're taking care of everyone in the group!" Yui spoke up again.

"No kidding! I figured Yui would have that, considering how she's so sweet all the time."

"Awww, thanks Hina-chan!"

"Heh, by that logic, wouldn't that make Hayato the team dad, with how he's always watching over everybody? Daaamnn, Miura! Aren't you the lucky gal!"

Ahhhh, things really have changed, haven't they. If it were the same Yumiko Miura one year ago, I either would have been a stuttering, blushing heap on the floor right about now, or daydreaming about a life to be with Hayato. Man, my fantasies were so cringeworthy back then. Can't believe I ever enjoyed the one with the carriage and the dancing butlers, that was too damn silly. Wait, where was I again? Oh, right.

"…hmmm? What makes you say that?"

"Oh, don't give me that! You've been crushing on Hayato for the longest time, haven't you!? Team mom, team dad, wink wink?"

Subtle as a bullet train, Sagami. Man, how everyone fell for your acting skills last year is beyond me. Still, though, I guess I haven't really talked to anyone about this in a while, huh? Welp, better nip this one in the bud.

"…ah, right, that? I…well, I'm not exactly….crushing on him anymore…"

"…you're shitting me."

"Wait, for real, Yumiko? After all that?"

"Yeah. I guess the spark's finally gone."

It really was like that. As time went by, the dreams stopped coming. I stopped tripping over his words, and as I looked into his face and eyes, that warmth didn't seem to come back to my cheeks.

I guess at the start, I fell hard for him because he was special. And if I were to stand by his side, that would make me special too, right?

_Hey world, look at me! Out of all the girls in the world, he chose me! That must mean there was something going for me._

I guess what made me fall out of love for him was…because I didn't really think that way anymore. Yui kept changing, Ebina kept changing. Hell, if even Sagami could move on from who she used to be, what was my excuse if I didn't start growing up?

I…I knew that if I wanted to be special, if I _truly_ wanted to be special…I needed to work hard. I couldn't rely on someone else to do it for me anymore.

I still like him. I still admire him quite a bit, actually. But…I guess I didn't really need him anymore.

"Awwww, and I thought you two would be so cute! You're always looking at him the same way I look at Hikki!"

Heh?

"Ah? What was that about Hikio?"

"Huh? What about Hikki?"

"Nah, it's just well…something about looking at him the same way I did Hayato?"

"….e-ehhh? Oh, this is so embarrassing, please ignore what I just said!"

Wait….it can't be…

"Wait, Yui. Do you…like Hikio?"

No response? Come on, Yui, you're just sitting there just sitting there, blushing and stuttering. Geez, what's with that embarrassed smile, what are you, a maiden in love?

Oh, wait.

"….seriously, Miura? It took you that long to figure that shit out."

Sagami broke the silence, in that same, resting-bitch tone she uses for friend and foe alike. She really needs to fix that tone, she'll get on people's nerves too easily.

"Oh come on, girl. It was so damn obvious! You'd have to be a complete moron to not even consider the possibility!"

"Hey, don't blame me! Yui's nice to literally every boy, it's not like she treats Hikio any differently!"

Ebina started shooting a look at me. Even behind those glasses of hers, I could tell that wasn't exactly comforting eyes. Was that pity, or was that outright bewilderment. Maybe both, to be honest. Come on, stop looking at me like that!

"…are you serious, Yumiko. You're telling me that you didn't notice any of the hints? None? Whatsoever?"

…ok, yeah, now that I'm revising a couple of memories in my head, I'm starting to feel like an airheaded bimbo. The actual hell, Yumiko, she constantly takes about Hikio in our phonecalls, her face immediately lights up whenever he's around and she's constantly making excuses in order to hang out with him after school. Shit, how could you have not seen that!?"

"…I legitimately thought you just liked being his friend, Yui. I'm feeling a little dumb right about now."

"H-hey, no need to be like that! You're not dumb, you're smart, Yumi! You can instantly tell when someone's having a rough time, you have to be smart!"

"t-thanks…."

No, seriously. She STILL wonders why she's popular with boys when she's acting like that. If I ever decide to swing the other way, I'd pounce on her in an instant, so help me…

"A-anyways, let's change the topic why don't we? Yumi, there's something I've actually wanted to ask you about him."

"Y-yeah? What about?"

"Well, it's…the nickname you give him."

"What? You mean 'Hikio'?"

"Yeah, that! Why do you call him that!?"

Hmmmm? What kind of a question is that? Obviously, I call him that because….

Wait, why do I call him that again?

"I mean, you call him Hikki, right? What's exactly so wrong when I give him a nickname?"

"I-it's not that I'm saying it's wrong, but it's just weird why you gave him a nickname one day. You weren't friends with him back then, right? People who didn't like him called him Hikitani, and I called him Hikki. Why did you decide to call him Hikio?"

"…actually, yeah, that's a good point Yumiko? What's up with that nickname for Hikigaya?"

You're curious too, Ebina? It's not even a big deal, just what's going on….

"No kidding. Least I recall, I don't see you doling out such cute names for anyone else in your clique. Heck, not even Hayama gets one, and you were fucking obsessed with the guy!"

"Ok, ok, chill, Mina. I think we get it. Jeez, it's just a name, why's everyone so worked up about it."

Ahhh, you're looking at me again, Hina? Well, at least this time, it's not like you're pitying me because I'm an idiot or whatever. Hmmm, it's been a while since I've seen you this focused. Didn't think this was really that big of a deal or anything.

"I mean, think about it, Yumiko. Everyone else in our group was using Hikitani even before the incident with Sagami. By all accounts, you could have just as easily called him the same thing as well. In fact, since you two didn't really get on that well at the start, it's something you 'should' have called him. Exactly why would you give a guy you probably hated an inoffensive nickname like 'Hikio' is beyond me."

Woah, woah, hate? Come on, it wasn't even like that. If anything, it was Yukinoshita I was ticked off at, not him.

"Ok, first off, I didn't like Hikio- Hikigaya, but I never hated him. Second off, it's not like the reason is anything special, ok? I had a hard time memorizing his name, so I needed to simplify it a bit to remember it better. Overtime, it just stuck, and it didn't hurt anyone, so I just kept using it. That's all."

"…wait, you tried to remember him? When was this, exactly?"

"Back when he played doubles against me and Hayato, I guess"

"Like, you mean that silly match you had over the court? I was there, wasn't that the time where Hayato protected you from a stray ball? If you were head over heels over the guy back then, that would have been the moment you would have gotten out of that incident. Why'd you bother to remember Hikigaya in a way other than 'total douche' back then is beyond me. What exactly did he even do that was special?"

…..once again, nothing. Seriously, that shouldn't be such a difficult question to answer. Back then, why did I need to keep track of him? Minami's right, there had to be a reason.

"…to be honest, I really have no clue."

"Eh?"

"Seriously, I…I really have no Idea. If you guys are seriously so intent on wanting an answer from me, I'll….I'll put some thought into it, and maybe it'll come back to me."

The table once again, grinded to a halt for a while. Yui seemed to have accepted the answer for the most part. After all, it's an honest enough answer. Even if there was something going on anyway, she's not exactly the Ice Queen's level when it came to perception anyway.

I'm more concerned about the other two, though. Hina kept a lingering stare at me for god knows how many times already in this single conversation. Yeah, I've always known there's a lot more than she lets on in that mind of hers, at least, when it's not filled up with those lewd thoughts of hers.

Minami's pretty silent as well. Even after leaving her old clique of friends, she's still just as much into gossip as she was before, so maybe she's thinking if there's anything I might be hiding. Guess if you're giving a flimsy excuse such as 'I don't remember', I'd probably be curious as well.

What _did_ make me want to remember Hikio so badly?

"Well, in any case, we can settle this for another time," Ebina finally dropped her gaze. "Besides, it's not like it would matter too much. In the end, he's friends with all of us now, so it's not like something like this is anything concerning. If you wanna call him Hikio, call him Hikio, Yumiko."

"Hehe, I don't really mind. As long as you don't try to take my 'Hikki' nickname away, we'll be just fine."

"Haha, I promise, Yui."

"Man, how did we even get here anyways? Figured with you guys, it would just be about fashion and cool places like my old clique. things seem to take one hell of a detour whenever Hikigaya's involved."

"Understatement of the friggin' century, Mina," I chuckle, reminding me of the things that boy has dragged people into. Judging by Yui's giggling and Ebina's knowing cheeky smile, the feeling's clearly mutual.

"Ehh, what's this about Hikitani?" a familiar, loud voice came through.

"Oi, Tobe. It's rude to eavesdrop when we're having a conversation, ya know?"

"Hahaha, I mean, it's ok because we're friends, right? Besides, it's not like you're making the conversation too private. You're quite loud, you know?"

"….wait, we are?"

My eyes went around, scanning the classroom. Ah, he's right. Everyone's looking at us. Now they're starting to look away the moment I lock eyes with them. It's one of my personal tactics, a glare befitting the Queen of Fire. Not that I have anything personal against any of them. I just value privacy.

Although, given how we're normally the rumor mill of the class, I guess that makes us hypocrites, doesn't it?

"…were we seriously that loud?" I whispered to Tobe.

"Yeah, you kinda were." Surprisingly, he whispered back. Guess it was possible to dial back the volume with this guy. "I mean, I don't really mind, everyone talks about silly things with their friends, ya know? Just…"

He brought his face down, in order to keep what's next more private. That caught my attention. He's trying to be serious, isn't he?

"Like, it's cool with me, but the others, they…well, they might not exactly be happy with you talking about him. You know how they are. I just don't you guys to be caught up into this."

Ah, so that's what it was.

"…look, sorry Tobe. Just….we know Hikio's a good guy, ok? But if we stay silent, the rumors are just going to continue. That guy's not exactly known to care about what others think about him. It's up to us to put him in a good light."

"I know that. But maybe, let's leave it to Hayato. He's can say good things about Hikitani without putting himself at risk. I just…the guys are starting to talk about you guys too, ya know? I just don't want you guys involved."

Aww, he really does care about us, doesn't he? This was the same guy who casually talked crap about Hikio, and now he's defending his honor and ours? Heh, maybe if Hina knew about this beforehand, she might have been willing to give him a shot."

"We're aware of what they've been saying, Tobe. We all used to spread rumors ourselves, dealing with them in return is just part of the game." Sagami piped up.

Ahh, I forgot the rest of the girls were there. Maybe they were also shocked over how serious Tobe was doing. Can't blame them, the guy oozes energy and positivity. You'd think someone died with how he was acting.

"Come on, Tobecchi. No need to be worried about me and the girls. A little thing like this isn't exactly going to be too hard on us."

"…Sigh, I suppose you gals are a lot tougher than I thought. Alright, I give. You all better take care of yourself now."

With that, a smile returned to his face, fire returning into his eyes. With a huff of his usual energy, he walked off.

…well, that was a surprisingly tense moment. And from Tobe no less. Ah, the atmosphere's starting to get chilly. Quick, Yumiko, quick! What could I do to distract them from what just happened?

"….I'm feeling parched. Any of you guys want any drinks?"

* * *

Tch, seriously. You'd swear that the whole school's gone upside down, all because of a few whispers. There's only so much we can do, given that we're only second years. From what I heard, most of the senpais have fed into the whole 'fish-eyed boy bad' narrative that's being strung along since the Culture Festival last year. That then goes back down to the freshman, and with just Iroha willing to calm people down from everything, it's just gotten worse.

Even in our year level, it's not remotely close to perfect. In our own damn clique, it's a house divided. We try to curb it, saying how Hikio's not that bad, and maybe lay off with the whole spreading gossip when it came to him.

Some seemed to listen. Others, not really.

And throughout all the classes, a lot of things ended up coming up in day-to-day conversation.

"_Hikitani sexually assaulted a girl in the first year, and blackmailed her into silence."_

Pffft, they didn't even have a name for whoever was supposed to have been molested. Some even thought that it was Iroha, though a slap in the face from her end shut them up real quickly.

"_Hikitani's so desperate for intimacy with girls, I heard he's in an incestual relationship with his sister."_

As someone who knew Komachi from meeting her personally, I felt insulted on her behalf. A quick anonymous tip to Hiratsuka-sensei was all it too, serves them right.

"_Hahaha, Hikitani probably has a baby dick. That's why he's probably so envious of Hayato."_

….no comment.

Heck, even the whole thing with stopping the rumors' been giving us our own shares of troubles as well. Soon enough, there's been some whispers targeted towards those who defended Hikio not named Hayato. How bad it was depends on the person, but it's all troublesome bull-crap all the same.

Sigh, I don't even want to talk about it. This is supposed to be us atoning for the crap Hikio was put through from the Sagami incident, so I guess I can't really complain.

Especially since, we'll….we're friends now. That's what we're supposed to do for each other, right?

I think it's coming back to me now. Why he wormed his way into my head back then.

Heh, Yukino Yukinoshita. The only girl who didn't buy into Hayato and his charms back then. Talked a whole lotta crap to his face and everyone else's as well. She seriously got onto my nerves. She was so fucking beautiful it almost seemed like a twisted joke from God. Her cold, aloof personality only made that gap seem more obvious.

She didn't reach out to anyone, and at some point, everyone decided to stop reaching out to her. For the most part, I was glad. One less beauty present meant more attention for me, and less competition for Hayato.

Then one day, Yui started spending time with her. Brought her up out of nowhere saying she was her friend. She was the Ice Queen. The Ice Queen had no friends, was what I thought. It took a while for Yui to knock some sense into me about what she was allowed to do in her own free time, but that barely changed my opinion of _her._

At the end of the day, she wasn't in my way at all though. Not in Hayato's way, or anyone else's. As long as he was there leading us forward, the entire school was basically ours for the taking. We were only first years, but even then, Hayato's charm was too ridiculous to be even considered normal. Even now, my heart remembers those longing days. Even if I couldn't ever see eye to eye with Yukinoshita, it didn't really matter at all. If the clique needed something, they would have it eventually. So long as Hayato was there, everyone would eventually cave in and compromise eventually. All the rest of us needed to do was stay put, and everything would just come onto our lap.

Until that day, of course.

That day, on the tennis court though. That was when it really began, didn't it? It was just supposed to be a day of tennis practice with Hayato. That's all it was supposed to be. Then, Totsuka got in the way, and things escalated. That was when _he_ came to his-well, _her _defense alongside Yukinoshita. I could get why Hikio would do it. After all, it _is _Totsuka we're talking about. But for Yukinoshita to fight on someone's behalf? And Yui was supporting them? I didn't get it at all.

If you were faced up against Hayato, most guys would have just keeled over, either to his popularity, his friends or his charms. Hikio wasn't like that at all. Just looked at him with his dead fish eyes. Creeped me the hell out, that's for sure. Didn't think much of him at all, just like everyone else did. So he's a bit cocky, so what? Not like Hayato hadn't dealt with some other jealous guys before.

Though, I still couldn't help . I knew for a fact that Totsuka was as much of a gentle soul back then as they were now. Yui too. How did this guy managed to bring those two to his side with that creepy face of his?

And how the hell was he capable of dragging in Yukinoshita in all of this?

_Was he the one who got the Ice Queen out of her shell? Was he the one who got Yui to be her friend? _

Looking back, I considered the match a fond memory, even if we did lose. Hayato protected me from a serve, and that was all I needed. I adored him for it. Everyone else did too. But, as much as my heart was beating wildly. As much as my cheeks burned pink and my smile shone brighter than it ever had been up until that point. One thing also lingered in my mind.

_What was up with that guy?_

He wasn't like the others, that's for sure. No one could act that calm against Hayato in a public setting without _something_ going for him. Maybe it was that 'something' that led the others towards him? Hayato for some reason, wanted to be friends with him too. Was he special in some way?

I wanted to find out.

I couldn't really remember his name either. Maybe because at the time, I wasn't used to remembering the names of people who weren't popular. I was always cute, even as a kid, so I always hung out with the cream of the crop. They were the ones who I really needed to remember. Anyone else, I'm willing to be polite to, but it's not like I needed to know much about them.

Ironically, the one time I did decide to memorize someone who didn't stick to the top, everyone else decided to make it difficult for me. It was either Hikitani or Hikigaya, and no one really seemed to decide on which one was correct. Which one was I supposed to use? On one hand, that's what Tobe was calling him all the time. On the other hand….it's Tobe. He doesn't exactly have a smooth track record when it came to facts.

_Well, Yui calls him Hikki, right At the very least, that's the first two letters of his name everyone gets right. Maybe I can call him that? No, no, that's way too intimate. Or maybe that's just because of the way Yui says it. Either way, that's out of the picture._

I'll just add something in front of it then. That way, it'll be similar enough to his real name that, when I do figure out what it was, I'll be able to transition very easily.

And that's where Hikio came from. As silly as it sounds, it's actually just me putting a letter in front of Yui's cute nickname for him. It just so happens that out of all the letters I could have put at the end, Hikio was the one that happened the roll of the tongue the best. It didn't need to be anything smart, just something I could remember quickly. Besides, I was only going to use it for a little while, and I won't be using it much anyway. Just a label for a curiosity, nothing more.

After all, I'm just going to observe him for a bit. And what research I'll get from him, I'll just get it from word of mouth from Hayato or Yui.

It's not like I'm going to need to say it out loud much. What are the chances of the two of us engaging in conversation? Not likely, right?

….so yeah, I was definitely wrong about that.

Wherever Hayato went, I went, so of course we'd cross paths eventually. And it happened, over and over and over again. Sometimes I wonder if it was fate. Then I remembered that it was either Hayato, or Yui, or even Ebina and Tobe who dragged me along, so honestly, I was just there for the ride and nothing else. He's a loner, and I'm standing by Hayato's side. The difference between us was night and day, and like night and day, there was never a reason for the both of us to be in the same place at the same time, right?

Guess I forgot twilight was also a thing, huh?

It was sometime before the Christmas concert that Yui told Ebina and I that he changed. How, I didn't really know, but all of a sudden, he was casually talking with Ebina and Yui, just like any regular group of friends would.

Hikio was many things, but he was never 'regular'. After seeing him so many times, I had to get to the bottom of this search of mine and for all, and I decided to go for it the only way I knew how.

I joined in.

And…he became a friend. A really good friend.

_Never judge a book by its cover. Didn't mom kept harping on about that, Yumiko? Ah well, better late than never._

And the name I gave him? It just stuck. It just felt wrong to call him Hikigaya, after all that time. I guess, that nickname's just part of our bond.

And now here we are. So much has changed since then.

Sigh, this was supposed to be a drink run, when did I start thinking about these kinds of things. Sagami's right, it used to just be normal things we'd think and talk about. Now, every third conversation seems to take a turn for something we never really talked about before. Future aspirations. Dreams.

Hikio.

Damnit, he can't seem to get out of my head! Or anyone else's, either. It's those stupid rumors that's constantly being brought up about him. Fine, a guy hangs just happens to hang out with a bunch of girls. None of you idiots complained when Hayato was showered with fangirls at every corner. Now Hikio's in the spotlight, and you're going to rag on him for it?

_Hmmm, this guy is grabbing the attention of a lot of people. Maybe I should talk or try to understand him, these guys are, so clearly there has to be something about him._

…_.nah. We're just going to guess and guess because we can't get off our lazy asses and it's easier to just judge someone based on words over actions!_

Unbelievable, seriously. I was just like that not too long ago, either. Sheesh, maybe being called a bitch those few times to my face wasn't completely out of line. Oh wait, those are the same girls who happen to be spreading the rumors about Hikio either.

Eh, screw them then. If they can't get the attention of Hayato, then that's on them not trying hard enough. Don't blame me for it.

Ok, which vending machines had the drinks that we wanted? Let's see. Oh, here we go. So, it was green tea for Yui, soda for Ebina, regular coffee for Sagami….

"Hey, Miura."

Eh, who was that? That didn't sound like anyone I knew. Who called my name?

Turning my head, I saw them. Senpais, huh? Aren't these guys from the basketball club? I normally hang out with Hayato, so I'm mainly used to soccer. I mean, it's not like Sobu had a strong basketball team or anything…

"….errrr, yes? Can I help you?"

I started paying attention to my surroundings. There was practically no one in the halls, save for a couple first years talking in the background. Right in front of me were three boys, one of them acting rather nervous, the other two showing rather cocky smiles.

"Listen, I'm a bit busy, since I'm buying drinks for my friends, so if it's not anything important, maybe we can leave it till after schoo-"

"See, that's the thing. We were wondering if, uh, you'd be willing to head out with us sometime. To a mixer, or perhaps just to hang out in general."

"I mean, that depends on what you're talking about. Do you need me for anything, senpai? It's a bit strange, asking me rather than other girls in your grade."

Briefly, that nervous face of his dropped, showing something a lot more…creepy, before changing back.

"JUST…..give me an answer. Do you wanna go or not?"

"….I apologize, but no. I should already have plans with my friends in my free time. Now, if you'll excuse me…"

Aaaand, he's blocking my way. Ok, I'm starting to get really worried now.

"What's the matter, think you're too good for us?"

….ok, what exactly is going on?

"I-I'm sorry, what do you mean?"

"I'm saying if you think you're too good to hang out with us."

"What are you even talking about!? I hardly know you guys at all, I wouldn't accept an invitation just like that!"

"As if you can say something like that when you're hanging around with Hikitani!"

…this can't be good.

"We heard that you and a couple other girls have gotten pretty close with that guy." the one with the concerned look spoke up. "Too close in fact. What, did that handsome prick Hayama force you to get along or something?"

"Nah, that can't be it," another one of the boys growled. "We just heard from a little bird that she's no longer into Hayama. If that's the case, then there's no reason for her to put up with Hikitani."

Wait, how did they already know that? Shit, did someone from our classroom already pass it on? Shit, it even spread to the third years? That's too fast!

"Come on, it'll be fun!" the third boy spoke up, clearly the cockiest of the bunch if his body language was anything to go by. "We might not be your darling prince, but I'm sure we can take you to wherever he could. Definitely treat you better than Hikitani ever could."

"You don't know him! How would you even know?!"

Crap, I just blurted it out. Oh god, I just wanted to defend him. This isn't going to make things any better. They're starting to get mad. The first years are just being onlookers, just standing there. Come on, any of you! Grab a teacher or something, this is starting to get scary!

"Oho, so, you don't think we're on _his _level, huh?" the nervous boy wasn't looking nervous anymore. That came out as a snarl, and he was clearly showing his true colors now that he didn't get what he wanted: me.

"Awww, and here we thought that we we're trying to be nice. Clearly, if you don't like Hayama anymore, he probably broke your heart after you confessed to him! And here we were, trying to invite you to something else to put your mind off him!"

Don't act like you don't know what you're doing! Ebina's talked to me about this before, me being a part of the 'golden generation' or something like that. I know how this is supposed to go. You get with me, and then you get to brag about all your friends about how you made it big!

"Who I choose to spend my time with is none of your business! If you're going to talk that way towards _my_ friends, then clearly you're not worth my time!"

"What was that!? What, and you're saying that Hikitani is!? God, he must have you wrapped around his little finger, doesn't he!? Well, clearly Hayama must have been responsible for your brains as well as your group, because god knows what you see in a loner like him!"

"Heh, and to think, normally, you're standing at the top of the second years. In reality, you're nothing _special, _aren't you? Just a bit of nice eye candy to made Hayama look more pretty."

…t-that's not what all I am. It's not like that. I swear!

"Tch, that probably goes for everyone else of her friends. Heard they hang around him too. Fucking asshole probably had nude pictures of them on his phone, and forcing them to do god knows what. Am I right, or am I right, Miura-chan?"

Don't drag them into this! _Please, _don't drag them into this!

"Or maybe she's just that type of girl." Damnit, I can't take anymore of this! Don't talk about them like that! No, Yumiko. Don't cry. _Don't. Cry. _Don't give these assholes the satisfaction. Just….just take it all. It's fine. It doesn't mean anything Just take it all.

_Just like he does everyday._

"Haha, I guess you must be a pretty easy girl to get with, huh?"

I can't block them out. They're hurting me, and I can't ignore it! Damnit….

"Haha, your self confidence must have been completely destroyed when he rejected you, huh? Bet you just flung yourself to the nearest guy to make yourself feel better, didn't ya? Hah, if we had known you were such a slut, then we wouldn't have-"

"You know, if you're going to threaten somebody, probably the dumbest thing to do is do it in broad daylight"

…that voice…..

"Especially when it's a teenage girl who's being victimized. I mean, my god, if at least a couple other students were here, 1000 yen says they'd dogpile on you in an instant."

The bullies stopped. The sneers of those assholes fell off their faces.

"I mean come on, you even started with a pretty good hand. You're senpais, and you play sports. That's easy points if you wanna charm any girl. Just bide your time, be patient, get to know one another, you'd actually have a solid shot."

I turned around and saw _him_. He was there. I-is it going to be ok?

"Seriously, take it from me. I mocked Sagami and despite everyone knowing the type of girl she was, I still got shit on for the majority of the first term this year. You're literally attacking someone _Hayama Hayato _considers one of his closest friends. You think that guy's just going to stand by to something like this? Explain to me just how you dipshits thought this was a good idea!"

"S-shut the hell up, Hikitani! You're seriously asking for it right about now!"

"Oh, by all means, go ahead. Sobu's one of the few schools in Chiba who's super strict on harassment, a couple bruises and it'll be easy to make sure you guys get what's due. Well, on top of whatever's about to happen next."

"What?! What's that supposed to….mean….."

His hands. They were holding a phone? Wait…was he filming?

"Cause you know, even if you haven't done anything to me, it doesn't change the fact of what happened towards Miura over here. Not exactly a good look for you, is it?"

"O-oi! Hand that phone over! Hand it, or we'll beat the everloving shit out of you!"

"I mean, I already sent it, so it doesn't really matter anyways."

They froze up completely. Just before, they were laughing, and mocking, and being so upfront. Now, they're acting like statues. Fragile statues. Like a small puff of wind could just come in, and they'd tumble and shatter.

God, I wish there wasn't such clear weather today.

"But by all means, if you're still up for the whole 'beating the ever-loving shit' thing, you can go ahead and try. I won't stop you. I think everyone know by now, words don't exactly hurt me like you want them to. Maybe if you try sticks and stones, you might have a better chance."

He took one step forward, and then another. Time seemed to slow down, so you could just feel every single sound coming from every bounce of his foot. To them, it's probably the scariest thing you can imagine.

And yet, when he stopped between me and them, I've never felt so safe in my life.

"What you _can't do_, however, is harass the people I care about. Go for me all you want, but you won't hurt her. Not anymore. Try, but what comes next…is self defense."

…oi, when did you start being so cool, Hikio? That's so unfair!

"T-this isn't over!"

"Uh, yeah, it kind of is."

"We didn't even want her anyway! No point wasting our time on sloppy seconds!"

"I mean, that's not what's shown on the video, sooo…"

"You better watch yourself!"

"Do it all the time in the mirror. Still as handsome as ever."

And then they were gone. Leaving me and _him _behind.

Oh, good. It's finally over. They….they finally left me alone. I can just calm down and...

*sniff*

Ahh, damnit. I guess I was at my limit, huh?

"U-uh, hey Miura. You alright?"

Well, that's fine, I guess. He's already seen me cry before, when I asked him to help me with Hayato. It'll be fine.

_As long as he was here, it was fine. _

"You, uhhh….you wanna sit down and talk?"

* * *

"Pieces of shit, seriously. Can't believe such generic mobs actually existed, especially in this place. You'd think with how much I busted my ass to get into this school, the kids would at least be smart. But nope, they're letting anyone through these days! I feel cheated, seriously…."

"…..w-why would they even act like that? To people they didn't even know?"

He calmed down when I spoke. After following him into an empty classroom, it was the first thing that came out of my mouth. The way my voice sounded…damnit, it was so weak. I didn't want him to see me like this.

"…It's known as 'crab mentality'. When a crab tries to escape a fisherman's bucket, other crabs try to pull them back in. Guess if they're gonna be miserable, they'd rather not have anyone else who's not.

"But….what does that have to do with me?"

"It doesn't. It's me that gets them worked up. They were probably like that with Hayama as well. Popular bastard gets a lot of the girls in our year level. Guys would kill to get that kind of attention. But fine, he's rich, attractive, athletic, and kind. Probably some kind of 'god disguised as a human', so they don't have to think about it if the comparison's like that."

"Then…with you…"

"Yeah. With me, it's different. I've been talking to you a lot recently, haven't I? Not just you, though. A lot of other girls like you, beautiful, and someone you want around your arm."

_He….he called me pretty…_

"That's probably why they tried to invite you first. They tried the benefit of the doubt, maybe you just decided to be more open towards people and they wanted in on it. You can imagine how it feels to them, right? How someone they think to be completely beneath them, the loner of Sobu High, to have better luck then they do. 'If I can't have it, neither can you.' Crab mentality in a nutshell."

It's calm. Just about ten minutes ago, everything hurt. My head. My heart. Even my hands, as the nails pressed into my palms from being frustrated. And now, it's just….a lot of things are starting to make some sense.

"Heh, when you put it like that, suddenly I get it. God, you're a magician, Hikio. Problems tend to go away whenever you're there."

"Hey, give credit to everyone else in my club, too. Besides, sometimes I make more problems to replace the old ones. It's a work in progress, I promise."

A giggle escaped my mouth. Probably the first positive thing that came from me this entire conversation.

"…still, those people. How could you just ignore them? They're whispering into every nook and cranny of this school, and maybe to other schools? Why don't you fight back?"

"Because I know what's real. And the only people I need to know about the truth are the ones I care about."

He cares. He cares about me that much.

….crap, what's this warmth? It's so familiar…

"…man, you really are special, aren't you Hikio? I guess that's the difference between you and me, huh?"

"….Miura, what are you talking about?

"I mean, you can just say things, anythings, willy nilly, and you just don't care about what happens next. You and Yukinoshta and even Yui. Hell, even Hayato can do that and because he's on top of the world, no one's going to question him. Maybe…maybe that was the 'something special' I wanted to find out about you."

That's that, right? That's what sets them apart from people like me. 'Golden Generation'? 'Queen of Fire'? What does that matter? It's just my looks after all, isn't it? That's the only thing going for me. Can't even make friends without bitching at them first. I'm a mess.

"I guess I want to say…I wish I was as special as someone like you."

Moments passed. It was just the two of us, sitting in an empty classroom to take some time off of the world outside, as the last of my tears from before dried up. I can't even look Hikio in the eye, I must look terrible after all the crying. Heh, if the mood didn't improve anytime soon, I don't know how I might act This hasn't exactly been the best of days.

"….well, I think you're wrong about that."

"…huh?"

My eyes turned to Hikio, wondering what he meant by those words. Looking back were those usual fish eyes of his. If I hadn't gotten used to them yet, I really would have been creeped out. Nowadays, it's fine. Because those are _his_ eyes.

"Don't get me wrong, it's not like you're entirely original. You fit the usual archetype. You're blonde, popular, hang out with the jocks and generally have a resting bitch face towards anyone who isn't your crush or cute. Look at any media in America from the 80's onwards and there would be hundreds of girls similar to you."

Damn, ouch. Like, it hurts, but it's even worse coming from you, Hikio. Come on, I thought you were about to make me happy, are you trying to make me cry again? Meanie.

"Well, for those 'stereotypes', that's where the story ends. They either get beaten or shown up by the protagonist, get proven wrong, and is either humiliated or thoroughly defeated that they don't show their faces again. They're so shallow you don't even care what would come of them after the events of the film or episode, you're just paying attention to whether the main hero is happy."

He rested a hand on my shoulder. Was it always this warm? What was it like holding his hand, I wonder….

"But the story hasn't ended for you, just like it hasn't ended for me. Right now, there's a lot of shit going on in my life, too. I've got Yukinoshita's sister hounding my ass on whatever the latest progress is with her sister, a kouhai that's perpetually making my life a living chore, and then there are those rumors I'll have to set the record straight at some point. It's hard, but I'm not leaving things as they are. I made a promise to make sure I get something genuine, and I aim to keep it."

"Same thing goes for you. You're constantly changing as well. You're trying your hardest to keep your clique together, only through being yourself rather than being someone you're not. Every day, you try to go out of your way to be kinder, even to those who you don't know. A lot of people can see that, not just me. You also made a conscious decision to choose liberal arts as your career path, and while I don't agree with it, it just means that you want to better understand how the world works. That's admirable in itself, isn't it? And furthermore…."

"I-I get it, ok?!"

Hikio stopped talking, as if I acted like some kind of boundary was violated. Oh, crap, was I too loud? Quick, better fix this!

"I-I'm sorry, it's just….I didn't realize that you were paying so much attention to me. Y-you even remembered which courses I wanted to take. It's actually making me feel quite flustered."

"A-ah, so that's what it was. Haha, for a moment there, I felt like I scared you off or something."

"Hehehe, well, if I did find you scary, I probably would have gotten out the very first time I started to you But I'm still here, aren't I?"

"Heh, I guess you are."

"….but hey, what was that about disagreeing about my career path, huh? What would you rather have me be then, if you're so against liberal arts?"

"Like I said, I disagree with it, but I'm not exactly against it. But…I guess if I had to choose a fitting job for you, I'd say a nurse."

A nurse?

"A nurse?"

"Yeah, I figured that it would be a good career for you. Ya know, because you're always caring for everyone. Believe it or not, you're actually act motherly quite a lot. Maybe you don't notice.

Pfffft.

"Pffffthahaha!"

"E-ehh? What did I say?"

"No, it's just….hehehe! You're not the first person to tell me that you know."

"A-ah, is that right?"

"Well, it's still a ways away until third year starts. I guess if I ever want to change my mind, that's still an option."

"Wait, you're actually considering it?"

"Why not? After all, the idea of nursing sounds quite nice. I'd be able to help a lot of people that way."

This peace of mind. It's quite a nice feeling. Almost like I don't have a single worry in the world.

….ah, right. I still gotta buy drinks. The girls would probably be wondering where I was.

"I think I should head off now, Hikio. I left everyone else back in the classroom, and they might be worried over where I've gone. Lunch is almost over, after all."

"Hmmm? Ah, that's fair. Well, was nice speaking to you, Miura. I'll look forward to next time."

Next time. Yeah, that's right. This isn't just a one time thing. If I ever had any problems, I could just ask you, right? You'd help me, right? I know you will.

_And you'd fix it. Because you're so amazing._

"One last thing, Hikio."

"…yeah? What is i-"

*peck*

"E-ehhhh?"

"Next time we talk, you can call me Yumiko."

I rushed out of the room, my mind going to so many places at once. Why? Why did it feel so good seeing him so embarrassed? What does he think of me now?

….would he let me do it again?

Heh, it's this sensation again. It was like this before, with Hayato. It faded overtime, though, when I realized that I wanted to be more than someone who'd always look at him from afar. But now, its back again. It's faint, not like with Hayato, where it was love at first sight. But even I could feel that it was slowly expanding. Maybe it's also reflecting how I want to grow as a person.

And by Hikio's side.

Haha, no no, let's not get too hasty, Yumiko. Hikio, he's…very dear to me, but let's not leap to that stage yet. If anything, he's someone you're starting to rely far too much on. If you can't even take a couple of comments from some dumb jocks, we're gonna have to take some time maturing.

For all we know, this feeling is probably just wanting to have him as a close friend, or even a brother figure. I'm sure Komachi isn't exactly willing to share, but I'm sure we can compromise. After all, he's helped me so much, I'm sure it would be fine for me to return the favor in some way.

Patience. Patience is the key, Yumiko. After a while, then we can figure out what we want to do.

Haha, I mean, that talk we had in the classroom, that's already some pretty deep stuff. That kind of thing doesn't come along often. That's some life changing moment, what just happened.

I mean, it's not like there's going to be any other massive incident that makes you rethink life, right?

* * *

One week later….

* * *

_..._

_Well, shit._

S-so, um…that's a thing. Yeah, I mean, I guess accidents happen, right?

_Right, Hikio!?_

It's…well, it's been about fifteen minutes since I got that message. From what Komachi's saying, it was a pure, honest mistake. Well, _pure_ might be the wrong word.

_That's only if you think of it as filthy though. __**Really filthy…**_

Stop, stop. Don't get too ahead of yourself Yumiko, we've been through this just last week.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I don't find it offensive. I find it a bit funny. After all, people slip up when it comes to messages, this just happens to be _quite _the mistake.

Well. The picture itself? Oh, it's fine. Just fine. More than fine, actually.

In fact, you could say that it was _**decliously fucking hot.**_

Calm down, _calm down_, Yumiko. Easy girl. Don't get flustered easily, it's just Hikio. It's just Hikio. It's. Just. Hikio. That's the guy who's your classmate. That's the guy you see every day. That's the guy who's your friend. That's the guy who _**you'd just want to drag into a random closet, and have him take you for his ow-**_

OK, CLEARLY, CLEARLY. Ebina might be a bit of a bad influence on you. Listening to her rambling about her dirty fantasies have clearly messed you up.

Might have to make some phone calls to Yui to clean myself. She'll probably talk about something innocent, like puppies or some cute images, or something like that.

Yeah, clean. Innocent. Not like this image. I mean, this is basically porn. It is basically porn. I really should not be looking at this at all. After all, it was an accident. For Hikio's sake, I should just delete this pic. Yeah, into the trash can, where I can never, never, _never ever_, see it again. Ever

….

….

…

**WHY THE HELL CAN'T I STOP LOOKING AT THIS PHOTO!?**

Stupid, stupid, stupid! Stupid Hikio? Why? Why did you send this to me!? Do you have _any _idea what you're already putting me through!? Damnit! You're already in my dreams! The girls and I can't stop _talking about you _for some unexplained reason! And now this? Really? Come on!?

You know what? I take back everything good I said about you before! Screw this, what's the point of fixing my problems if you're _just gonna make more ones._

Damnit, why!? Out of everybody you could have accidentally sent it to, why did it have to be _me_ of all people!? Why can't you leave me alone!? Why can't you leave me in peace!? Why can't you leave me be!?

_**Damnit, I already love you so much! Why did you have to do something like this!?**_

….

…

Heh. Hahahaha. So, it really is like that, huh?

I like Hikio. I really, _really,_ like Hikio.

Hehe, and here I was, trying to convince myself time and time again that it wasn't like that. That it was nothing, it was something small.

Guess the cat's out of the bag, now huh?

….well, it's fine. No, seriously, it's fine, Yumiko.

There's nothing wrong with loving again. Even if it was so soon.

And Hikio's a good guy. He won't treat you badly. Nonono. He'll treat you right.

My eyes fell back onto the photo. Oh my god, hahaha, I'm starting to giggle. I….I really gotta stop, hahaha. Why do I feel so happy now? Is it because I found something else worth fighting for?

_Oh yes. He'll treat you definitely right. _

Haha, yo-you really gotta stop giggling, Yumiko. Damnit, haha, drool's starting to leak out of your mouth. I'm not even sure if it's from the laughter, or because I'm starting to get really, _really _thirsty.

Hehehe, this is going to be rough. I know it.

I know that I'm not the only one gunning down for him. There's definitely Yui, but he knows so many other girls. There's got to be a couple other's who's looking for him too.

Fine. Hikio told me that I was a girl who tried hard, I'm not going to fail his expectations this soon. Right?

_Come to think of it, he also thought I would be a good nurse._

A nurse, huh?

Heh, he said that because he thought I take good care of people. And I do. I treat my friends _real nicely_.

You're my friend, too, you know that, Hikio? You want me to treat you nicely? Oh, maybe if you want me to, I'll get a nurse outfit, just for you!

Yeah, you want me to be a nurse, right? If you're pushing your idea on me, surely you wouldn't mind helping me out with some…._trials, _to see if I'm cut out for the job.

_Or maybe you just said that so you could see me in a nurse outfit. You did send me this naughty picture of you. Hehe, maybe it was intentional, you __**naughty boy**_.

You want me, don't you? That look of your says you want me _bad_**. **How bad, I wonder? Want me to run a check-up on you?

Hehe, I promise I'll be _very _thorough, You're my friend after all, anything else would be my failure as a nurse. So don't you worry.

I'll make sure to explore _every. Last. Inch of you._

And if you need any medicine?

Hehe, don't worry.

I've got something sweet to make sure that problem of yours goes now _real well._

* * *

So yeah, I had to go throught so many draft revisions to get this one right. None of the previous ones seemed right. This one's also pretty damn long as well, but it was honestly fun to write, once I actually had a coherent plan. Remember, I'm trying to improve my grammar and structure, so it's not like I'm losing a lot with pushing things a little bit. I didn't want to rely on the whole flashback format for every chapter, so I just wanted to do something fresh. Characterization is fun anyways, especially if you manage to expand on something that's within the rules of the original narrative. I think the whole Hikio nickname subplot was probably my favorite bit, just for the way I had to make it make sense. Everything else sets up a couple other future plans for characters as well, like how I've used Ebina's previous chapter a bit in this story. Well regardless, it's been a while since I've looked at Totsuka's draft, so I'll probably adjust it to make sure things flow better.


	6. Upcoming Schedule

Might as well give you a preview on the order of characters I'm going to do after F!Totsuka. Anyways, the order is as follows:

Characters done already:

Komachi (platonic)

Orimoto

Ebina

Yumiko

Coming up (in order of planned chapters)

Totsuka

Kawasaki

Shiomeguri

Haruno

Sagami

Iroha

Yui

Yukino

? (secret character)

Hiratsuka (end of part 1, prelude to part 2)

In between the planned chapters, I might also put in some filler chapters if I think of a funny enough concept that might work. Some might build the world, others might be played for hilarity.

Also, I just realized that this story is basically just TheFlyingHachiman's 'Density', but lewder. Hell, the first three character chapters are the exact same as theirs, even in the exact same order. That's pretty funny.

One more important thing. This story isn't exactly as smutty as one would expect from the description, since I'm attempting to practice my skills through character building and introspection. That being said, implications at the end of each chapter is pretty damn explicit. After the Totsuka chapter, I'll be changing the waring to M, for people who might be wondering where the story goes.

Anyways, the Totsuka story is going to come much sooner than the Yumiko one. I actually have a extremely good idea planned out for it.

The rest of the chapters are done in an order where I can shift between the more popular characters and the less popular characters, as I've mentioned before, with the notable exception of the big three. If you guys want to put your input regarding the order, feel free to do so in the reviews. That being said, the one place I will not compromise will be **Sagami's** chapter, since that's probably the most interesting one for me. It won't move anytime sooner nor later, if my plan pans out as it is.

Anyways, that's all for now. Stay tuned. Stay cool.


	7. Maiden Heaven (Totsuka)

Totsuka: Maiden Heaven

'…o-oi, Totsuka! Care to run that by me again!?"

"Shhhh, quiet! We're in a library, Mok-kun!"

Then again, I suppose if I needed to tell him about it, maybe we could have just chosen someplace more private. I thought the library would work, since it's supposed to be quiet.

…sigh, sometimes I hate my voice for being so soft.

"I-uh, my bad, Totsuka. I just thought I heard something pretty crazy just now. Your voice is actually pretty soft, ya know?"

Case in point.

"But yeah, what I heard sounded like something out of one of my manuscripts, haha. Because for a moment there, I thought you said that you-"

"That I'm in love with Hachiman?"

"Haha, yeah, that! Man, maybe Yukinoshita's got a point and I need to calm down on my readings. Otherwise I'll just end up assuming the….weirdest….things…."

Mouuuu, now he's just staring at me like there were eyes at the back of my head! Oh, oh no, that change of expression. He's about to-

"Wait, WHAAAAAAAA-HMPGMPH!"

"Calm down, Mok-kun! Please, I'm begging you! People are looking!"

Ahh, too much attention! Too much attention! Gotta get out quickly! Maybe this was a bad idea! Ahh, but he's the only one I can really trust about this kind of thing! Mmmm, why does this need to be so complicated!?

"_Let it be said, that Yoshiteru Zaimokuza, from today till the end of days, shall refuse to quell the passion that lies within his ambitious heart!"_

…oh, that's why. Sigh, well, it's not like he's a bad guy to hang around. In fact, after helping out the Service Club, he's actually really fun to be around!

_With how things have been recently, it's actually been nice._

Ah, no no, Totsuka. Think positively. Being negative isn't going to get you anywhere. _Those guys _are…I hope things settle down soon.

Ok, here's an empty classroom. After school, nobody should be in this corner of the school. Closest club right now is the literature club, but they should be keeping to themselves, thankfully.

"Ok, let me get this straight, cause this is actually quite a lot to take i-!"

"Inside, first! Then we talk!"

He stopped what he was about to say, and started looking at me. Was he shocked at how loud my voice got? Well, he's nodding his head, and turned towards the door. Something must have gotten through to him.

"So, Totsuka." His voice was more level, looks like the whole shock part's finally worn off. "I'm just going to go over this one more time, just to make sure I'm not getting confused."

"Mhmmm, go on."

"So, uh….you like Hikigaya."

"..y-yes."

"Like, not as a friend or anything. More than that, is what you're saying."

"….yes. That's right."

"Like, not even as a best friend, or a brotherly-kind of relationship. We're talking about an actual, honest to god, 'I want to have his children', kind of-"

"OK! That's enough of that! At least you get it now!"

Mmph, I'm blushing so hard right now! He's not going to make it easy for me to ask at all, is he?

"Well, uhhh…I suppose you have my congratulations, then. Has Hikigaya been made aware of this news?"

"No, no, I haven't confessed to him yet."

"Ah, is that so! ….ahhh, I see, I see! I get why you needed to speak with me now!"

Oh, really? Well, I guess that just gonna make things go quicker the-

"You thought that I had lingering feelings for you, and in order to avoid confronting my affections, you're using Hikigaya as a way to set the record straight!"

….wat?

"Haha, no worries, Totsuka. If that's what you're worried about, there's no rough sentiments at all! I'm far too busy with my work to pursue such matters of the heart."

"…..that's not at all what I wanted to talk to you about, Mok-kun."

"….o-oh? Well, uhh, are you about to confess to Hikigaya, and you just wanted to tell your best friend about it first before you go on with it? If so, then I'll just wish you the best of luck!"

"No. That's not it either."

Best friend? Where did he even get that from? I mean, don't get me wrong, he's a really good friend, and I care for him dearly, but after Hachiman, there's….

….wait, after Hachiman, who else am I closest with? I mean, I'm friends with the girls, but I don't exactly hang out with them. There's my clubmates, but other than the meetings and the celebration parties, I'm no exactly close to any of them either. And the ones in my class, they…

….oh my god, Mok-kun _is _my closest friend. I…just….huh.

"Well, then even a genius tactician such as I am stumped here. What could possibly be the reason why you have brought me over to listen to your inner conflict, my dear friend?"

"….well, you're pretty close with Hachiman too, right?"

"Indeed I am! He and I are tied together by an invisible bond, as if fate has brought us together for us to unite and stand against this world's fiercest foes."

…I can't believe I'm actually curious about this.

"…what, like society or something like that?"

"No. The pandemic of subpar isekai."

…huh. Figures.

"Listen, Mok-kun, I…I need your help."

"You require my assistance? For what purpose, might I ask?"

"Hachiman. I, uhhh….I need you to help me out. With him, I mean."

He suddenly grinded to a halt, like a record scratch in a comedy skit. What, did I say something weird?

"…wait, seriously?"

"Ummm, yeah. Seriously. Would there be much trouble with helping me, Mok-kun?"

"….ok, I don't usually say this kind of thing, but uhhh…..you do know who you're asking, right?"

"Y-yeah, I know and I trust you! Geez, you're even breaking character and it's starting to freak me out!"

"Hey, there's no character being broken here! All of what you've seen of me is 115% guaranteed _**genuine**_!"

…you're using his word. That's his word. Why is it so disturbing when you're using _his _word?

"What I mean to say is, uh…if your problems are of the romantic nature, wouldn't it be a better idea to receive council from those of a more seasoned background? Like say, the Service Club?"

"Well, you see, that's kind of the problem, Mok-kun. I think you're the only one who I could trust with this."

"O-oh? I-is that so? While I am indeed flattered by your unwavering faith in me, permit me my curiosity? For what reason is it that requires you to specifically procure _my _skills?"

"Well, uh… it is your, um, skills, that I'd like helping me out. Well, that, and, I simply can't ask the others about this."

"And why is that?"

"Well, ummm, you see…."

"Yes, yes?"

"Chances are, most of the others….**also**….like Hachiman."

…

"PfffFFTHAHAHAHA, oh, oh by the gods up high, that's quite the jest you came up with! Hehe, talk about quite the sneak attack you pulled there! I thought for a moment that it was gonna be something dire, or…"

…..

…..

"….oh my god, you're actually serious, aren't you?"

Aaaand, he's breaking character again. Then again, if I were in his position….

"Yeah, I am. It's not just me that likes him. I'm pretty sure quite a lot of other girls want the same thing. That's why I can't talk to them."

"Indeed. This is, uh, quite the predicament, I must say. I can't say I imagined that I'd be participating in such a battlefield."

"I wouldn't call it a battlefield just yet! It's still calm, and all. That's why I kind of, you know….take the lead, before things get crazy."

I can imagine what's going to happen once more and more girls start being honest with how they feel for him. It's only Yui who's trying her luck right now, but I don't think I can deal with any other girls joining into the fray.

_Especially Yukinoshita-san_ and _Iroha-chan._ One's so cool with the way she takes care of things, and the other seems to get her way all the time with the boys. I don't mind that. Normally.

I just don't want that to happen with someone I want to be _mine and mine alone._

"Haha, but still, to think my dear comrade has managed to battle his way out of bachelorhood, like this. Heh, I must admit, I'm quite proud of him."

"Hehe, you aren't jealous? A lot of boys would be if they knew their friend had that kind of attention, Mok-kun."

It was true, after all. Lots of boys are getting more and more jealous of Hachiman. Even if they don't say it out loud, they don't try hiding it.

Chuckling to himself, Mok-kun's attention went outside of the window, like he wanted to bask in the atmosphere of the sunset arriving as time started to pass into the evening. Ah, I guess a lot of time must have passed when we were studying in the library before.

"The intimacy of a woman's affections, I can afford to be patient. For my passion lies behind my stories, and I refuse to make such compromises to something that could enrapture the world. Nevertheless, a man as distinguished, yet horribly mistreated as Hikigaya deserves some reprieve from how those full of envy looks towards him. And if that reprieve were to be from a woman's affections, who am I to complain or interfere?"

…wow, that was actually quite inspiring. Oh, if only you had more moments such as these, Mok-kun. Most of the time, you're too imposing for others to try to approach you, haha. Shame that big heart of yours is tucked that deep through all of that bravado.

"Haha, well it's nice knowing that a good guy like you is Hachiman's friends."

"Totsuka, my heart lies solely with my vision and dreams. And yet, if I were to have a second heart to give away, it would be to him, for all he's done for me. And if I a third, to you, for being my faithful companion."

"Pfffft, 'faithful companion?' I know I'm cute, but I'm not a puppy, you know?"

Both of us shared a chuckle, the previous awkwardness suddenly disappearing. I'm quite happy that this part of the school was practically abandoned. Not just because I didn't want other people to listen in on my secrets. But because it's nice to get to spend some time with a friend without other boys being angry at him out of jealously.

_Just like him._

"Well, if it really comes to taking first blood, I suppose I can help you while the waters are still lucid. Just…try to make sure that none of the others notice your intentions."

"Ah, don't worry, Mok-kun, I'm nice with everyone, so I'm pretty sure the girls won't see it. Yui does the same thing, anyway."

"That wasn't whom I was speaking about. It's the other boys that make me feel for both your safety and Hikigaya's."

Ah, of course Mok-kun would have noticed that as well. The rumors aren't really subtle, if the first-years have heard of it.

"….yeah, I know. But if I'm going to confess to him, and he actually says yes, it's not like we can keep it a secret forever. Yukinoshita's scary smart, and Yui pays enough attention to know if somethings changed with Hachiman."

"Indeed, those vixens are quite conniving in their own right. But if it comes to that, I'm sure they wouldn't rat a secret like that out of spite. They say 'hell hath no fury like a woman scorned', but wouldn't have any harm done to the object of their affections.

"Hah, that's reassuring."

Because I can imagine what might happen if news like that heads out. I'm always put on a pedestal, paraded around by people saying that I'm an 'angel descended from the heavens', or something like that.

I don't like it. Not one bit. But with how passionate they were, I didn't have the heart to tell them off whenever they act that way. But now I wish I had, so that this whole reputation of mine would calm down. Once anyone finds out that Hachiman's got me wrapped around his finger, I…

I don't want to think about it. I'm here for help, so I'll focus on that.

"So, before we actually go through some kind of plan to help you confess to Hikigaya, I must admit my curiosity. What are the reasons for you liking him?"

"….ah, w-well, I suppose I can tell you, right? Secret's safe and all?"

"My lips are sealed."

Oh, jeez, where to start. All of a sudden, my head's starting to empty all those images of those boys with their angry faces and them cursing Hachiman's name. Now, it's entirely filled with pictures of _him._ How many were there, a hundred? _Ten thousand? _Ahhh, my cheeks are heating up.

"W-well, you know how when I first came out as a girl, all of a sudden, I got so many people wanting my attention, right? Well, Hachiman managed to protect me, thinking of a plan that could let me interact with lots of people equally without being biased."

"Hmmm, ok ok, so you appreciate his strategic mind. That's a valid quality of his to admire."

"A-and that's not the first time he's helped me either. Ever since I've met him, the first thing I remember was him helping me out when I had trouble. I could never forget the way he stood up to the popular kids for my sake. He even won that game too! It was so cool…."

"Ahhh, the Doubles Incident that occurred during the autumn. Haha, I hear that was quite the confrontation back then. Makes me wish I could have been there to see it."

"I-it wasn't like he was looking for a reward, either. Most people, girls or boys, want my attention all the time, so sometimes it gets hard, trying to respond properly to all of them. But Hachiman, he… he didn't even know who I was at first. Hehe, and I was in the same class as him last year as well!"

"Mmmm, humility. A noble virtue, go on, go on."

"And that wasn't the last time he ever did something like that for someone else. He just…kept doing things like that, over and over and over again, to protect others, even if it hurt himself. I…I was in the same class as him in the first year, so I had heard that he couldn't make friends because of some kind of accident that he had. If I knew, what kind of person he was, then maybe I would have reached out to him….maybe he wouldn't have been so lonely."

"Hehe, is that a motherly instinct I hear?"

"I-it's not like that, Mok-kun! A-and then, there's his smile…"

"….errr, his smile?"

"Yes! It's so rare, but when he does that smile of his, it's like the entire world seems to brighten up, like flowers of every kind was falling from the sky!"

"…well, I suppose beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Personally, his smiles seem to be quite normal from my perspective, but I guess-"

"And! He's so sweet too! He acts quite sour from time to time, but in reality, I know that there's a prince waiting inside of that shell! Whenever he starts being honest to himself and start caring for others, he….oh my gosh, my heart is starting to beat fast, hehe…."

"…I mean, 'prince' wouldn't exactly be how I described it, but if you-"

"ALSO, his eye!"

"…his….eyes…."

"They're so _**gorgeous**_. Like, I know what others say about them, but how can you _not_ love them!? It's like a puppy, it's so precious!?"

Like that time when he accidentally spent too much time being close to me on the train ride during the school trip. He was scooting back so quickly and shyly, and his eyes were constantly looking away because he was so flustered!

_It was SO cute!_

"…..his _eyes_?"

"And his muscles, _oh my __**god.**_I wanted him to help me practice, but he also got stronger each and every time we had our tennis sessions! Oh _god, _did his body get toned…."

I remember it like it was yesterday, that image I hope would never leave my mind for as long as I lived. After a long day that was surprisingly hot for an autumn afternoon, he was practically _dripping_ with sweat. So then he-he….ooooOOHHHHH…

"….errr, you're drooling now. You ok, Totsuka? …Totsuka?"

He went for the taps and just…covered himself with water. _Completely._ Then, when he was done cooling himself off with the water and _panting in that husky voice of his_, he pulled up his shirt! And as he was squeezing the water off his soaked shirt, I could see his _abs._ Glistening in the afternoon light, sweat and water dripping down and down….oh my god, I'm swooning so hard right now, haha.

I don't think I could ever see an image that could top something like that.

"Totsuka?"

"And his warmth. Oh god, his _warmth!"_

"…Totsuka?"

That time, when we were sleeping next to each other, it was cold, so I started shivering. I-it must have been his instinct while he was asleep, but…he rolled right over to me and held me in _his _arms. Pulling me into his chest. It was so warm. He was so warm!

"Totsuka!?"

Oh, _god,_ I even found myself straddling him. Hehehe, luckily for me, if he was awake, he might have found out I was a girl since I had nothing down there. But Hachiman, on the other hand…

Oh, he definitely _had something down there alright._

"Totsuka!"

"W-wha?"

"Ok, ok, I feel like that's enough information to prove you're enamored with Hikigaya. Yeesh, and I thought my passions were fiery…. remind me never to intervene a battle of love."

"A-ah, sorry, Mok-kun. I might have gotten carried away there, hehe…."

Note to self, Saika. Try not to be this obvious when around the girls. And especially when around him. Haha, kinda got carried away there, didn't you?

"But fine, I guess if I'm the only one you can turn to, and I now know the…extent, of your affections, I suppose I can't exactly turn you down, can I?"

"Oh, thank you, Yoshiteru! I'll be sure to be repay you someday, I promise!"

"….huh. Almost forgot I had a first name."

"What was that?"

"Oh, nothing. But anyways, I believe that on my own, I wouldn't be able to fully assist you regarding this matter."

"B-but I just said we can't get any of the girls involved."

"Oh, we can worry about those details later. But for now, I think I have figured out just how you might be able to conquer Hikigaya's heart!"

"R-really! Come on, don't make things suspenseful, tell me!"

Then again, it's just the first idea off the top of his head, Saika. And it _is _Mok-kun. I might have to be here for a while before we get anywhere.

"Simply put, increase your relationship values!"

….really.

"Come on, I know I promised to spend some time learning what types of games you play, but maybe bringing that kind of thing in this isn't the best idea."

"Ahhh, but it is, Totsuka. Much more relevant than one might think."

He then went towards the blackboard in the front of the room. Taking a bit of chalk resting on the side, he started drawing up some figures. Hmmm, some stick figures?

"As of now, there are eight billion people living in this world. Say we half that size for each gender, and liberally divide that amount even further based on demographic, we can say that there would be quite a large amount of potential mates available for one of the opposite gender, correct?"

"Well, yeah. But just because there are that many people, that doesn't mean that one boy or girl can attempt to start a relationship with every single one of them!"

"Mhmmm, and why is that?"

Ehhh, is he trying to help me or test me? Well, if he really is trying to help me, might as well go along with this.

"Well, it's time. It takes time to start a meaningful, genuine friendship with someone, let alone loving them."

"Exactly. That would be the case for most people. At times, a man would generally only have the capacity and the time to court one person. Luckier, or more charismatic ones, could potentially have that with several."

Ah, looks like he finished what he was drawing. Looks like a circle of stick figures, with one in the middle. He's drawing lines now…

"But if what you said is true, Hikigaya's different. In the span of one year, he's been able to court and attract quite a number of potential mates simultaneously. The fact that he's done this unknowingly is unprecedented to anything I've ever seen before. But because of this fact, that just means that whatever time he has, it's shared among all these girls."

Sigh, yeah, that's kind of the problem. Sometimes I wish he wasn't so nice, he might actually have some more free time. Time to spend with _me_. Ah, but then, he wouldn't be the one I've known and loved all this time, huh? Hehe, I've fallen for quite the boy.

"Hence, there is one way that we can secure time with him. Ensure that there is a mandatory timeframe in which he _has _to spend time with you. And ensure that it remains a routine. That way, your relationship values should be able to rise consistently, and if his remaining schedule would be allocated between the rest of his harem…"

"I-it's NOT a harem!"

"Ah, apologies, apologies. But think about it this way. You can't guarantee that you get to spend time with him, because there are others competing for the same times that you'd want to interact with him. So as long as you set up something with him that no other girl has, you'll be safe."

"Wait, but he already has the Service Club!"

"Ah, but that's shared between two girls most of the time. Three, if you count how often that council president seems to show up. Whatever attentions there, it's divided, and less effective."

"…but he already helps me out with tennis practice. It would be selfish for me to ask for more…"

"Hehe, but that's where the 'mandatory' part comes in, you see. What if, he was _forced_ to spend time with you? Where he would have no other choice?"

"….go on."

"Hehe, now, remember when I said that this is a task I would not be able to complete on my own? Well, luckily for me, there's one person that should be able to help you out. One that I can personally attest through observation, would not have an iota of attraction towards Hikigaya!"

"W-who? Wait, you mean Hiratsuka-sensei?"

Wait, but wouldn't she…

"Hahaha, no. No, who I'm referring to would be…."

* * *

"….ok, so let me get this straight."

I'll be honest, when I first thought I'd get Mok-kun's help, I figured that he'd just tell me about Hachiman's past, or anything he secretly enjoys. Small things, enough for a head start.

I didn't think about _this_. I mean, all's fair in love and war, but thing's aren't that dire. Are they?

"Ugh, and I thought I was able to get away from talking about that idiot here, but clearly, the bastard's more popular than I thought he'd ever be."

Not to mention, the contact that was supposed to help me out.

She's…well, she's gotten _nicer_. But is she really the one who can help me out with this?

"Haha, well, I am his friend too, Sagami. One of his _closest_, in fact."

"Heh, well, when the 'angel' of the tennis club stops by for a visit, his name isn't exactly the first thing you'd expect to hear, is it?"

"P-please don't call me that, it's kinda embarrassing…."

"Oh? I've heard the others call you that. What, is there a problem when I'm saying it? You not fond of me, Totsuka-chan?"

"N-no! It's just….I haven't really been able to stop them from saying it. You know how they are…"

"What, because they're boys and you've got a cute face and all, they just wanna shower you with affection?"

"…you're teasing me, aren't you?"

A chuckle escaped her lips. She's clearly having fun with this whole situation. It didn't sound like she was trying to be mean, at least.

"Hahaha, relax. With this gig, normally only the club 'jockeys' come around. Aside from Hayato, other captains don't really bother themselves with all the technical crap. You're a breath of fresh air in this gig, that's for sure."

She then sat up, straight, like she was done with playing around and moving on to business. Huh, she really has changed, hasn't she…

"That being said, it's only gonna be fun so long as you don't make my job hard. And what you're suggesting, well….was what you said before correct, or is there just something in my ear?"

"Y-yeah, you heard right. With how strong the tennis club's been recently, we'll be travelling a lot outside our prefecture for official tournaments."

"Well, yeah, that goes without saying. And you want Hikitani around because…wait, you haven't exactly explained that part to me yet."

Just focus, Saika! Think about what he said yesterday.

"Yeah, definitely. Sagami wouldn't have anything going on for Hikigaya, if you look at all the evidence shown. And after her successful run with the athletic festival, one of the senpais offered her a top position as a general sports manager. With how many events you're expected to attend to during the end of this year and the start of the next year, you'd need all the practice you could get! And that's where Hikigaya's gonna come in…."

"He's practiced with me before, to the extent where he's quite familiar with my practice schedule and drills. Enough to the point where even though he's not a part of the club, he's skilled enough that he'd be really valuable as a scrim partner."

"So that's your reason why you want him to accompany the tennis club as your….what, you're caretaker or something?"

"Yes, I think that's what I want to say."

She looked at me for a moment, probably just waiting to see If I was hiding anything from her. Come on, Saika. Poker face.

"He's already part of the service club, though. I mean, there are people who commit to multiple clubs, but this _is Hikitani _we're talking about, right? Would that even be something up his alley?"

"H-he's actually really hardworking, despite what other people say! It would be fine!"

"Well, if you say so. But seriously, it'd be so much easier just for someone from your own club to do the same thing for you. You're not exactly unpopular if you're afraid they'd turn you down."

"No, they wouldn't. But, well…there are a _lot _of guys in the club that's been crushing on me. I don't want anything awkward to come out of that."

"Pffft, so it's the boys being idiots, is it? I mean, you play for the woman's divisions anyways, just have another girl be your handler."

"Well, I mean….that's not exactly…."

"What, you're afraid that the girls in your club might be in a back-stabby mood with how much of the boy's attention you've been stealing? I mean, Miura's in the same class as us, ask her or something. Girl's been a hoe-repellant for Hayato for god knows how long, I'm sure she'd handle your problem just fine."

"…I just feel that things would be best if it were Hikigaya-san filling in that position. I don't think that I would be as comfortable if it wasn't him."

"…so it's Hikita-, well, _Hikigaya, _that you want in the end, huh? What, do you have a crush on him or something?"

Poker face, poker face, _**poker face,**_ Saika.

"N-no, it's nothing like that. I've already told you my reasons anyways."

"Well, fine, I get what you're trying to say now. So what, you want me to have the school permit Hikigaya to come along with you on inter-curricular activities? Can't he just join the tennis club directly, and he'd just be able to tag along with you?"

"That can't happen. The school doesn't let people who haven't been part of a sports club for at least one semester to move to the first string, even as a bench-warmer. And only first-string members are allowed to travel, so I wouldn't be able to get Hikigaya-san's help until the second semester of next year. He'd probably be busy with university exams at that point, anyways."

It's actually amazing how Mok-kun thought of all of this so quickly. I just told him about how the tennis club was handled, and he found a way to make the rules help me out. If I didn't know any better, I'd say he's almost as good as Hachiman when it came to these kinds of plans.

_At least here, no one's really sacrificing themselves._

"Ahhh? Well, that just makes my job much harder doesn't it?"

Sighing, Sagami started scratching her head, like she was frustrated over the whole thing. I can't really blame her. The suggestion isn't something normal, just giving permission like that. Mok-kun said I might be able to pull this off with all the good will I have with the school faculty, but is it really enough?

"….look, are you sure that you can't find anyone else other than Hikitani?"

"…h-huh?"

"Answer the question, Totsuka. He's….well, you do realize the shitshow that's going to happen if they actually let this through, right?"

"What do you mean, Sagami-san?"

"Come on, you're cute enough that you can stay stupid crap and people'll bat an eye, but even that has limits. You wanna bring Hikitani whenever you head out to tournaments, right? So, he'll just hang out with you the entire time?"

"W-well, yes, what does that-"

"There's no way you actually missed something so basic. You just said that things might get awkward if you had one of the other be your partner. Exactly what do you think is going to happen when they realize that not only is _Hikigaya Hachiman_ going to be coming along with some of them, but he's there solely to be _your _personal partner!"

…well, here's the main argument that we expected to come up. Just have to pull through, Saika.

"You're one of the girls from that stupid 'Golden Generation' crap that everyone's been spouting recently! How many dumb idiots do you think would kill just to be in _his_ position for a day? People have seen how close you two are in class. What makes you think this kind of arrangement isn't going to set people off?"

"B-because, if something happens to him, then I would be upset! And they won't like it if I'm upset at them! Something like that happened one time, and they could not stop apologizing!"

Mouuu, that was an embarrassing memory as well. It was after a rough doubles game, where even though we won, the score was way too close for an opponent that we thought would be easy. Everyone was just joking around, even though there was so much we had to fix. I was a little annoyed, so I just told them off that our play was bad, and it wasn't something I was going to accept.

Two seconds later, everyone was just lining up apologizing to me, some more than once.

_Was that what power felt like? I don't like it._

"….I mean, you still wouldn't be able to handle it on your own. He'd have to sleep close to them, eat with them, and there's no way they wouldn't be jealous him having your attention. Jealousy's a bitch, I would know. They'd do something to him sooner or later, when you're not looking."

"….I won't let that happen! He's not like what everyone says he is, he'll prove it. I won't let them hurt him! I…I don't want him to get hurt again."

Memories flooded back to the what happened after the culture festival. After his confession with Ebina. All the scribbles on his desk. Them messing up his locker. Terrible things. I don't know why people could be so terrible.

"….neither do I."

….eh?

"Ah, did you say something?"

"Huh? Oh, no, it's nothing. So, him being your practice partner would mean a lot to you, huh?"

I couldn't really say anything. I was never the best actor. I just didn't feel right lying about something for too long. I mean, yeah, I'm hiding part of the truth, so I guess that counts as a lie. But she'll probably just see through me. She's probably used to better liars than me.

"….look, you don't have to tell me everything, ok? But this is quite the trick you're having me pull, ya know? It's like pulling a rabbit out of a hat, you're trying to get me to get someone somewhere they shouldn't be."

She then looked at me right in the eye. Those grey eyes of hers used to be pretty scary. One minute, it looked like it was filled with rainbows and lollipops. And in another, it was like a tiger, just like Miura-san.

Here, though, it was almost…calm. Caring. Like she really wanted to help me, and she needed me to help her so she could help me.

_Hehe, I guess spending time with Yui must have brought that side out of her. Or maybe…_

"….I can't really trust anyone, as much as I used to before they figured out I was a girl. Now, girls are getting petty and jealous, and all the boys, those friendships aren't there like they used to. Now, anything I say, even a smile to someone, it just makes the others competitive. I…I'm just a normal girl, you know. I'm not some princess or anything like that."

Maybe once, I wanted to be, but...

"…so you trust him? Hikitani, I mean."

Probably the easiest question I've ever heard. Do I trust him? Do I trust Hikigaya Hachiman?

I've known for a long time now how to answer that.

"…yes. He….it really would mean a lot for me, if he was there."

The room fell quiet. It's supposed to, it's a private appointment, but if a loose strand of hair falls, I might actually hear it as it lands. It might be hard for her to figure out what to do with me. I was putting my heart out.

_I could have put a lie here and there, but this entire plan already involved hiding the truth from some people. My friends, who I still care about, even if they do like the same boy. In fact, it's because they can see the good in him that makes me appreciate them. So, if there's a way for me to avoid lying, I would like it._

_I don't want to be like the others, just putting empty smiles. _

"…sigh, you're lucky you're pretty popular with the teachers as well. Otherwise, like hell something as strange as this would end up moving ahead."

"….wait, so does that mean…"

"Yeah, I'll put your idea through to the faculty. I've had weirder ideas get passed along, at least with this one, there's a chance it might work. Just brace yourself for failure, though."

"O-of course! Thanks!"

"Well, Hikitani would also need to swing by. Obviously, he needs to confirm the whole thing, otherwise…."

"I'll try to make sure he will! I haven't asked him about it yet, so just wait for me."

"Well, fine, I guess I ca- wait, what!?" she suddenly shouted. "You haven't asked him yet?"

"Haha, well, I was more concerned over actually getting permission from the school than him, so I thought asking him about it was the easy part."

"B-but that's why you're supposed to ask him first! You do realize the 'hard' part doesn't even matter if he just says no, right?"

"Haaaa, well, see, that's the thing, Sagami-san."

"e-eh?"

"I, uh….I've got one more favor I'd like to ask you."

* * *

"….Oi. Totsuka."

"O-oh, Hachiman! What a surprise, I'm the one coming up to you to talk!"

"Heh, that's how it is usually, isn't it? But, uh, I kinda need to ask you about something. Mind if you come up to the rooftop afterschool?"

"O-of course, Hachiman! I'll see you then!"

A fraction of a smile formed across his lips_. Mmmm, I wish I could see more of those warm smiles. That does so many things to my heart._

"Yeah, same."

I shot a bright smile back, and he turned his head right away, before nodding. Awww, he's blushing a little! That's so cute!

You still not used to these talks after all this time? _Hehe, you're surprisingly shy, how adorable!_

And with that, he headed back to his desk, ignoring all the stares that came his way. Even Yui was looking at him. Can't blame her, he's normally not so direct. Wait, she's not jealous of me, is she?

Ugh, I'll have to think about that later. If he's coming up to ask me today, that means that Sagami must have helped me out after all.

_"Hikigaya, in spite of his reputation with the student body, is actually on quite good terms with the school faculty. Were you aware of that?"_

_"…he is? I, uh, I wasn't aware of that."_

_"It's not something anyone would guess at first, admittedly. He's actually spoken to me about this on occasion. The old school council president often spoke quite highly of him, for his contributions to the previous festivals and his ability to resolve conflicts. Same with Hiratsuka-sensei, and apparently he's been getting a lot of praise from Yukinoshita's older sister."_

_"Haruno-san?"_

_"Ah, that was her name. But indeed, a prized alumni who's family has been known to make generous donations to the school would propel quite a few people to a favorable position. Remember how introverted Yukinoshita was? She was allowed to exempt herself from all social events mandated by the school due to her status alone. What do you suppose would happen if both siblings happened to show favor towards one specific individual? As such, Hikigaya has some pull with the faculty."_

_"Ah, well, that's good for him! But, how does that relate to the plan?"_

_"The problem is to make sure your intentions aren't made suspect by both the school and your rivals, right? As such, there's something specific you need to ask Sagami."_

_"…huh?"_

I've never really been to the rooftop before. Sometimes, I see people just looking while I'm playing tennis with the club. Recently, there's been a lot more spectators than there used to be.

It's not hard to guess why. It only ever seemed to occur whenever I'm playing. I had to start wearing longer shorts and wider shirts just because I don't want to deal with all the gazes. Even if it was uncomfortable.

I tried talking to the other girls about it, at figst. They smiled and said it'll be alright, but I know what this school's like.

They're quite loud, whenever they talked in the bathroom, you know? Didn't even bother to check the stalls to see if anyone might be overhearing.

"_God, she's actually complaining about having the attention of the boys? Damnit, even some of the cuter ones are ogling her all the time! What a stuck-up bitch, seriously!"_

"_No kidding! She acts all innocent and otherwise, but she's probably getting off on all of this! Hell, she got to sleep in the same room as some of the boys. I bet she gets around quite a lot, eh?"_

Sometimes, I had to keep it in until they left the bathrooms. Them noticing me crying would just make it worse. It's painful, you know that? You're their captain. Every day, you try your best to be a role model.

And they just talk about you like that. I'm in the center of so much attention, and yet I feel so lonely.

That's why I'm so grateful for the friends I do have. Yui. Komachi-chan. Mok-kun.

And _him._

"Did anyone see you come up here?"

"Haha, don't worry. I made sure to borrow one of your 108 skills. 'Stealth Hikky', right? Pffft, it's such a silly name, hehe."

"Heh. Cheeky girl."

And just like that, all my troubles are far away.

"I'm uh, sorry if you had other things to do in the evening, Totsuka. You've been busy taking care of things with the club, now that the third years of the tennis club are preparing for exams and all."

"Haha, don't worry about that, Hachiman! Just talking to you gives be a bit of a break from it all!"

It's true, you know. Lots of things has been on my mind recently. School. Friends. Tennis.

_You._

"Well, I'll get to the point. I've been asked to do a request from the school directly. Was passed down by Hiratsuka-sensei, in fact."

"Hmmm? What do you mean, request?"

I already knew what he was going to say. To be honest, I felt bad, pretending not to know about things. But…I really need this. More than anything, I want him to help me.

"To be blunt, I was asked through special request to supervise you in sanctioned tennis events. Apparently, the teachers informed me that you've still been having a hard time dealing with everything."

"O-oh, is that so?"

"Yeah. I was surprised too. Apparently, Sagami of all talked to the teachers about how much of a problem you've been having recently. Considering how beloved you are by the school, I guess they couldn't let that slide. Pffft, not that it made them intervene when it came to others….."

"I-it's hard on you, I know. I'm so sorry that they weren't able to help you out when you needed it."

"Aaaah, don't sweat it. It's not like it's your fault, Totsuka. At the very least, I'm glad that they care enough about you so that you won't have to deal with the same thing I did."

He flashed a small smile at me. His eyes were a bit sad, but I could tell that he really did care. Oh, no, Saika. _Don't blush, don't blush, don't blush, __**don't blush!**_

"But anyways, that, uh, 'suggestion' they brought up. They wanted to assign someone who could help out with your morale and ethic while you practiced. Sagami, for some reason, suggested me of all people. Apparently you don't do well with counselling, or something?

"Haha, yeah, I did. I just prefer talking to friends to cheer me up, you know?"

_Like you._

At this point, Mok-kun might actually be some reborn tactician from the distant past! Everything's going according to plan!

_"Because Sagami's the general sports manager, she's capable of permitting 'special considerations', based on whether a student would have any problems they need help dealing with."_

_"Well, yeah, I suppose Mok-kun. But if I'm asking Hachiman to accompany me, wouldn't that already count as 'special consideration'?"_

_"Aha, but here's where specific wording comes into play. One of Sagami's duties is to periodically observe the sports clubs, in order to verify whether budget allowances and allocation of resources is deemed necessary. If she were to say, spot something out of place, it's within her responsibility to report it."_

_"…so, what does that mean?"_

_"Well, she would have had to visit the tennis club at certain points, right?"_

_"Uh, yeah. She actually just visited last week."_

_"You see, this is where the great deception will come into play. This is what the story is going to be; she's noticed from her visits that you've still been having emotional issues regarding your division swap, and how you've lately been having low morale. Since the reveal of your identity's made your popularity on par with Hayama, it would be in the school's best interest to ensure that the celebrity captain of the tennis club is treated well, to maintain the publicity you're drawing. When it comes to suggestions, we have Sagami bring up the 'observation' that your morale improves whenever she gets to practice with Hikigaya."_

_He finally finished writing on the blackboard. Everything we just talked about was arranged in a mess of chalk and complicated diagrams._

_"And with how Hikigaya himself is in the good graces of the faculty, then Sagami could open up the suggestion of having him come along. That way, since she's the one that's asking it instead of you, all you really have to do is be open to the suggestion when the teachers bring it up to you themselves, then it's only the matter of asking Hikigaya's permission that's left. Because it's a position asked by the teachers themselves, your rivals won't suspect that you're currently playing the game, they'd probably just assume Hikigaya's doing it out of obligation as your friend. Well, that, or that he might have a crush on you."_

_"A c-c-cr-cush!?"_

_"Haha, that's only hypothetical, of course. But either way, it's the ultimate sneak attack. You'd be able to curry favor with him without having to deal with the others."_

_"…but, you really think I'd be able to ask all of that from Sagami-san? How can you be so sure she'd help me out like this?"_

_"…Hikigaya talks to me a lot more than you think he would, you know? About what's been going on with his life. Even asked me for a favor when he had to help out Sagami a while back. Trust me, it'll be fine."_

"…..it was hard for you, wasn't it? You basically had to be switched down to the female division, after almost two years of building up a high school career as a male tennis player. That sent a shockwave throughout the tennis community, and because of your looks, you ended up becoming a celebrity overnight. The 'Angel of the Court', as they call it."

"Heh, it was quite a rough time for me. Everyone suddenly completely changed how they acted around me. It was like….every friendship that I made in the club just suddenly became something else. It was already hard, with not being able to play in the same division I've been a part of my whole high school life. But my relationships suddenly changing with everyone…"

"So what made you think telling me about it firsthand would be different from everyone else? I'm not exactly Hayama's supposed levels of benevolence, you know?"

"…honestly, I just wanted to be able to talk with someone I knew I could trust. And this was after the Culture Festival as well. Everyone else was so hard on you during that time, I just wanted you to know that I trusted you through all of that."

"Heh, is that it? You told me your secret as a peace offering?"

"w-well, when you put it that way…."

I couldn't tell him the truth. Even back then, I had something of a small crush on him. Seeing someone act so humble and sweet behind such a rough face, it was the opposite of what I used to deal with back in middle school. Sweet smiles and bitter words, like what's going on even now.

"Haha, to be honest, I'm kinda flattered. A sweet, tender girl like you really shouldn't be mixed in with a guy like me. Cynicism is quite infectious, you know? A couple steps in the wrong direction, you just might end up not liking the world as much as you used to."

"T-that's not-!"

No, he needs to know that he's worth it! I'm tired of seeing him beat himself up like this, again and again!"

"I'm the only one who gets to decide that, Hachiman! If I'm not strong enough to deal with that, then fine, I might just be weaker than I thought I was."

I walked closer to him. He needs to know about how I feel about all this, he might as well get a good look at my eyes to make sure I'm not lying.

"But even so, I'd rather deal with that later on so long as I know you're there to support me! For the whole year that I've known you, not once have you ever let me down, Hachiman!"

He probably didn't expect me to be so forward. I did get quite close to him, after all, just to prove my point.

_Heh, guess you shouldn't underestimate me after all, eh Hachiman?_

"I-I'll keep that in mind, Totsuka."

"Hehe, just don't say those dumb things again, and then I'll be happy."

"…heh, you know, I was actually bringing you here to refuse, you know that? I was thinking, hey, there's Yui, or Miura, or even Komachi, that might be better than I am. Not just 'cause they're also girls, but I felt like you'd be more comfortable with them than with me."

"Awww, is that how you think? They're not the ones I've been practicing tennis with this whole time, ya know?"

"Hehe, I guess that's how it is, isn't it?"

Ok, Totsuka. It's a good mood, right now. The sky's a nice sunset, weather's nice, just a little bit more, and he'll say yes. Come on, charms. For once in my life, don't fail me now!

"I think if there's anyone who could help me out, it would be you, Hachiman. Just you, Hachiman."

"…god, y-you're starting to make me f-flustered, you know that? S-saying my first name, like they're lyrics to a song. That's not fair!"

Oh my gosh, he's too adorable! **_You're _**not fair, Hachiman!

"Ahh, but you're such a good friend to me, _Haaachiman._ If you want, you can call me by my first name too, you know."

_Go on. Say it._

"W-well, while I'm happy you feel that way…."

Say it, say it, say it, say it, say it, _**say it.**_

"I, uh, well, maybe once in a while, ok?"

…awwww. Worth a shot.

"Hehe, sooo, about that request. The one that the teachers gave? I thought they'd just assign a sports counsellor to me. I don't think I would have minded, but I feel like having a good, _close _friend would be a lot better. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Mhmmm, well, um, yes. I…I suppose that would be the better option to your situation."

"…..so?"

…

…

"….yeah. I'll do it. We are friends after all, aren't we?"

Oh good, he accepted. Whew, I thought for a moment that he would still say no, my heart stopped for a moment there.

…and now's it's skipping a beat. Or two. Or twenty.

Well, that's understandable, after all. I mean, if the _**love of your life **_said he would be at your side, just the two of you? Any girl would be happy, right?

Ecstatic even.

She'd be over the moon, in fact.

Well, I better not overreact. After all, he just graciously accepted my request. I just got to make sure I don't scare him off, before he changes his mind.

"T-TOTSUKA, I think that's enough! Y-you're squeezing too tight!"

"Thank you so much, Hachiman! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank yo-!"

…huh? When did I start hugging Hachiman? Wait. Was I so happy that my emotions took complete control over my body? …was that even possible?

…oh, oh my gosh, I'm still hugging him!

"O-oh, sorry, Hachiman! I, haha, got carried away there!"

"H-haha, I just said yes, you know? Me helping you might improve your performance, but don't get carried away, now. It's not like you just won a competition just by me accepting."

…haha, that might be true.

But, it's going to make winning a whooooole lot easier.

Hehe, this could not possibly get any better.

Then, suddenly I was enveloped in warmth. And that familiar scent. It was so…it was driving me crazy.

"Haha, see, this is how you do a hug, Totsuka. Next time, don't be so pushy, ok? Nearly scared me to death, with how fast you jumped at me."

And with that, he let go. That was too short.

Waayyyy too short.

Come oooon, Hachiman, you could stay for a little longer.

Just a few seconds more. Or a minute. Two. Five.

Infinity.

"Well, anyways, I need to be headed off now. Sorry for calling you hear in the first place regardless, but I needed a private spot, and well….I just realized I needed to get some groceries for Komachi."

And with that, he set off for the entrance to the roof. I'd follow him, but I know what he would say if I tried to. 'People might notice us coming down alone, we shouldn't'. Hehe, let's not get greedy, Saika, we've already gotten so much today.

This can't possibly get any better.

"Well, guess I'll see you later…"

The next thing he did was something I'll never forget.

He flashed me a smile. It was a warm, amazing smile, that put the sunset behind us to shame. Or any other sunset I've ever seen in my life. I was glad that the shade of the sun was able to hide the red in my face…

"...other than Komachi, I think you're probably the closest female friend I have. I'll always be here to help you..."

Because his last words to me made me think I was able to explode.

….Saika."

And then, he left.

…..oh my god, ohmygod, ohmygosh, hrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

….I'm naming my son Yoshiteru, in honor of you, Mok-kun.

Thank you. I salute you. I praise you.

Heheh, what a day.

And that hug too! He's….hehehe, he's getting much stronger. I could feel those muscles of his. And they're only going to get stronger, if he keeps practicing with me.

_Maybe on a hot day, he might even practice with his shirt off._

Oh my god, Totsuka, now you're giggling. Stop giggling, this- hahahah, this is too much!

I'm so happy!

_"O-ok. I trust you, Mok-kun."_

_"Good. Now, just one more thing?"_

_"Y-yes? What is it?"_

_"Well, when dealing with Hikigaya….just….try to control yourself. Ok?"_

_"E-ehhh? What's that supposed to mean?"_

_"I'm sorry, but this entire plan is under jeopardy if you acted as wild as you just did an hour ago!"_

Hehe, now I know why he said that. I really did go overboard there, didn't I?

The sun was starting to fully set, the skies are starting to get dark. There's really a nice view above me.

A mixture of the sunset, where the stars were starting to show in the sky. Both of them, so different, and yet so bright, and so beautiful all the same.

Not as beautiful as _**his**_ smile.

Haaaaaaah, what a lovely day.

This **really **can't possibly get any better.

* * *

_Three weeks later_

* * *

….maybe they're right. Maybe I am an angel after all.

After all, where else could this place be but **heaven!?**

Muscles. Gorgeous muscles. Shoulders. Arms. Abs. **Abs.**

And…..**AND…..**

….that hug _should've _lasted longer.

Infinity times longer.

No, no wait, that's not good. If he hugs me for the rest of our lives _**like he should,**_ that wouldn't leave any time for….

….hehe. Hehehehehe.

…..hmmmm? You know what? He really has done soooo much for me, hasn't he?

He protected me against Miura-san. He helped me out with tennis practice. He's going to….**stay by my side. Just the two of us.**

And he's helped so many others too…..and, he hasn't gotten anything else in return.

It should be time, right? Time for him to be rewarded for his deeds?

Hehe, I remember when I was really young, back when I still happy with being a girl. I wanted to be a princess, like so many other girls. For a handsome prince, to one day take me away to marry, and we'd live happily ever after.

Of course, I stopped dreaming about things like that, once I started growing up. It was childish, that's what I thought.

But now, here I am. Feeling like a princess yet again. So happy, so joyful.

Because someone's here for me. But not a prince. No, not a prince at all.

But a knight.

A kind, **strong** knight that could carry me in his **strong arms. **

His hands might not be as soft as velvet. His eyes might not shine like diamonds, and his _lips, they might be rough. _

But I'm sure, he'll protect me. And he'll stay by my side forevermore.

But Sir Knight, you must be sooooo tired, after your journey. Poor, poor Sir, such a long quest, and yet, you haven't been rewarded for your troubles.

But Sir, I can reward you. You already have my heart_. _Are you sure you don't want _all of me?_

Hehehe, I'll be patient. He and I, we have a special bond, after all. He doesn't normally hug others, does he? Smile at them, hug them?

Just wait for me, Hachiman. Because, other than Komachi...

I'm _your number one girl, after all. _

* * *

The draft was practically finalized about two to three weeks ago. Honestly, the majority of editing involved deciding whether to make things comedic or dramatic. Figured that after two chapters learning towards serious, I decided to settle for something that was a lot more comedic. Hehe, and you thought Orimoto had it bad...

So, anyways. Two things. One, I had a lot of fun, writing Zaimokuza. Working in characterization like that is pretty easy, since you can just go full ham with everything. Not to mention, it was foreshadowed in the first chapter that Zaimokuza was closer to 8man than you'd think at first, so I'm planning on maybe using him for one or two more chapters in the future. Since I'm trying to learn characterization, figured I'll get a lot of mileage over the male characters.

Second,** Sagami's** whole thing. For those of you who were unaware, she actually gets a redemption arc in the athletic festival (Volume 6.5, episode 13 season 1 in the anime). For a tl; dr, I'd actually look at the sypnosis on that, since it's actually quite intriguing. In fact, if they actually kept Sagami's contribution, I'd actually think she'd be a lot more popular with the fanbase. Certainly not Yumiko's level, but enough that she might actually get shipped on occasion. That being said, Watari probably couldn't get much more from her, since Yumiko already fulfilled the alpha bitch archetype, so she was basically replaced by a more well recieved character with a leadership responsibility in Iroha. Probably for the best, tbh, since Iroha's a pretty good character as well.

Anyways, I figured if no one else is going to do her some justice, I might as well.

Well, in terms of reception, I'm actually surprised this story even got so popular. It's been four years since season 2, and it's not even remotely close to when the Oregairu fanbase was at it's peak, and yet this story's gotten a lot of views. Well, at least it means I've been doing something right.

Anyways, **Saki's **next. I'll see you guys soon.


	8. The 'D' in Denial (Saki)

Ok, for the record...

School. That and I ended up having to rewrite the draft multiple times.

Other than that, enjoy

* * *

Saki: The 'D' In Denial

Dad always was pretty cool when it came to dealing with…well, basically everything, really. Something needed repairs, he'd often take care of things without complaints, cause someone had to. Bad news comes in, either through the mail or some phone call with a total prick of a boss, he'd remain calm, even when mom or even grandma were losing their shit.

Probably the worst of it came to everybody when he lost his job and all the bills and expenses started piling up. And yet, back when I was six while this was all going on, I can still remember looking through the papers and online advertisements or opportunities for new work, as chill as ever. Heck, he only ever offered smiles if he ever caught on to me spying in from the hallway.

He was so cool, was what impressionable, irresponsible old me thought way back then. How was he like that all the time?

"This house, everything and everyone in it, it's all my responsibility as a man, Saki. In hard times, I can't panic, or the whole family gets into trouble. If I fail even that, who else would be able to make everyone happy?"

I got my answer when I was eight. Other kids tend to take much longer getting it. You know, all the sacrifices and strife that comes from being a parent. And hell, he and mom decided to have five of us, so clearly, they were willing to go the extra mile. I guess to him, a man's duty was to be a rock that wouldn't break, no matter whatever was thrown at it.

I really looked up to that.

That's why, when I grew up and was ready for work, I tried my best to take after him. You know, just keeping check of my feelings and all. It was much harder than it looked, at least when I first started. No crying, always remain sure of yourself, keep calm whenever shit starts to hit the fan. Had to repeat and revise those steps in my head, over and over. Don't know when it finally stuck, but glad it did eventually.

Working at a bar, you had to keep all of that in mind during service hours. Keep calm, have a bit of wit and be quick on your feet, that'll earn some nice tips by the end of the night.

'Course, it's the most important whenever you have to deal with some hotshot assholes who think they own the whole place, or some high and mighty bitches who can't get off your case.

But yeah, as the oldest kid in the family, figures I might as well set a good precedent for everyone else to follow, once they reach the age where all hell breaks loose. Well, Taishi's about to head out to his freshman year of senior high, but it'll still be quite a while until he starts becoming the 'man' of the family.

And by then, I'd probably be looking to start a family of my own as well. To have a large, loving family's quite the commodity, these days. Ah, not like the actual concept, but having it as a dream, 'specially for teenagers. I don't know, just…the idea of being able to start a nice thing with a good man, and to be able to take care of children, it…sometimes, I imagine those kinds of things in my dreams.

Granted, the children have no faces, neither do the groom. Well, the kids _kinda_ do, but without any qualities that I can really recognize, and the groom's always have a shrouded face. That's fair, it's not like I'm expecting to figure out who I want to marry yet, I'm still so young, after all.

Haha, you'd think that I'd have some kind of motherly instinct or something. Honestly, it's probably there with most girls, just buried under either all the insecurities, or all the shallowness you'd expect from this generation. And if you're going to compare me to Miura, when it comes to that…

…look. I'm not that bitchy, ok? She's getting better, but still…

Till then, though, I better concentrate on being a normal, responsible and straight-forward member of society. Just taking care of things, developing good habits, and making sure that nothing phase me at all.

_("To work is to lose.") _

Now, _with all that in mind…_

Ahem….._look._ It's fair to say that sometimes, I drop the ball when it comes to not letting emotions get the better of me. Now, in my defense, I'm still just a regular teenage girl. I can't expect to catch up to years of experience and stoicism dad's managed to accrue over his long years dealing with all the shitheads up at marketing.

I'm willing to cut myself some slack from time to time, though. For the most part, when I do let my guard down, it's not generally too bad. Feeling a little nervous when Keika shows up randomly, not too bad, really. She's my kid sister, anyone would get flustered if she does or says something silly without you expecting. Tagging along with a couple pals to a haunted house, only to run because ghosts scare the _everloving shit out of you._ Hey, everyone's gotta have some kind of weakness, sue me.

All in all, a lot of things pass under the radar for a sneak attack, but luckily, the S.S Kawasaki can take a few blows and remain steadfast.

…..

…..

Now, whenever _**he's involved…**_

These days, if it's not _him_, it's the service club, but for the most part, whenever I _am _driven crazy, it's cause that guy decides to just chuck a curve ball at mach speed towards me.

_I swear to god, do you have any idea how much time it took to get that confession out of my head!?_

Yeah, just…..state your feelings out of nowhere, you complete dolt! What exactly was I supposed to make out of that, huh? You run off with a wave of your hand, and leave me in the dust as my heart runs a mile an hour about to tear out of my damn chest!

Tch, I'll admit, it's….quite the slick way to confess if that really was the case. Guess you would have gone for that nonchalant kind of thing, for the maximum element of surprise. Or something like that, I just…I dunno.

But it's been _months_, and I still can't even tell if he was being honest, or if he was just taking the piss at me. On one hand, he hasn't really said anything of the same level at all.

Ebina's been telling me about how he tends to talk about how much of a role model I am, though. And apparently, it's enough to make Yuigahama envious, I mean, really? Little old me, you're placing on a pedestal? Something like that can't possibly be just feelings of mere friendship, right?

"_Come on, if you just ask him about it the following day, this whole dilemma can be taken care of, Saki." _

Listen here, buster, you think I haven't thought of that!? Whenever I look at that idiot's face, suddenly a wartime flashback to that damn rooftop runs in my mind, like a goddamn cassette tape, and all of a sudden, I can't think straight!

So, it just ends up being normal, everyday conversations that we have. Nothing heavy, nothing too light, just small talk with a bit of substance and whimsy.

About school, or life…or whatever.

Just eating together sometimes, at lunch, or with my family…

Smiles all around….

His smile.

….such a gorgeous smile….

….

I-it's not like I have feelings for him or anything! He's just….a good friend, that's all! He's nice, he's sweet, he's cool, he's _kinda, sorta, extremely cute I guess…_

N-never mind all of that! What I'm trying to get at, is the guy's been throwing me for a loop over and over again, and probably the only person who can make me feel this way! And sometimes, it happens when he's not even there!

"_Hey, when's Hacchan coming back to visit? Aren't you two in love? Oh, it's soooo romantic, kyaaaah!"_

"_Hey sis, how's big bro Hikigaya going? Haven't you two started dating, yet? You think he'll give me tips with Komachi if I ask?"_

"_Wasn't it sweet of him, bringing a set of Keika's favorite sweets over? Oh, I'm looking forward to the wedding, Saki. I'll be sure to prepare some nice dishes. Oh, I remember your favorite being something something little girl's grown up blah blah blah, so proud, blah blah blah, ara ara, blah blah…."_

….look, she talks about him far more than your normal mother should about their daughter's friend. Sometimes, I just zone out and fill in the blanks, ok?

No seriously, since when my whole family starting getting so attached to him? You'd expect dad to be even _a bit _defensive, but nope!

"_Heh, he reminds me a bit of how I was in the old days. In fact, you're basically pound for pound what your mother used to be back in our youth. I'd say you're in good hands, but that'll just sound narcissistic now, wouldn't it, haha!"_

Sigh, since when I let that guy that deep into my life. It went from exchanging numbers, to a couple of brief texts, to some phone calls and visits, and now this! The family's even got a plate set up just for him whenever he comes over!

And now **this**! Is this supposed to be **my **big dilemma?

…..oh, I guess I should probably clarify what I'm talking about.

Well, it's uh…it's not much, really. Everybody else was off to a family picnic for the afternoon, so I, ever the girl wanting to go someplace in life, decided to stay back and read up on some options in the higher ranked universities nearby.

Then, who else decided to text but _good ol' Hikigaya._

…_.._

…

…

_Yeah. Good ol' Hikigaya __**fucking Hachiman.**_

This was, well….he took me off guard, I must admit. But, I'd like to say that I handled it as best as I could. After all, any weaker girl would scream, or probably throw her phone across the fucking hemisphere.

Not, me, however. Oh, no no, **not me at all**. Other shit-for-brains have tried flustering me on to job, to try to get into my pants or other perverted shit like that. So yeah, some cheap selfie wasn't going to freak me out.

So, of course, I just did the most logical thing.

Nothing.

At all.

…for ten minutes.

…staring.

...I think it was the phone buzzing again that broke me out of it.

It was text from Komachi, using his phone. Says all of this was just some misunderstanding, that he accidentally sent it through, and just asking to forget all about it.

Aha, so that's what it was! He just slipped and pressed the wrong button, that dumbass! Geez, ought to hit him for the heart attack he ga-

I mean, no no, nothing _at all_ happened to my heart. Or anywhere close to that, that's for sure.

Well, seeing the image at first _might _have made something skip a beat, but that's just what happens when you get this kind of dumb crap sent over. Jump-scares and phishing scams are the same kind of deal, it's nothing at all, really.

….eh? Why does my face feel wet? Hmm? What's this under my lips? It's not water, and I haven't had anything to drink in the past hour.

Ah, wait. That's drool.

I mean, I guess if you don't do anything, you know, for….oh god, it really was ten minut-er, well, I guess you just forgot to go through the common body movements. Like blinking or….

_Swallowing._

Well, now….I guess I've been looking over all these career pathways for quite a while, now! Indeed, it's been about five minutes since I've starting looking over them! Yup! That definitely deserves a break!

Haha, you've been working hard, haven't you, Saki! Don't want to overwork yourself now, don't ya sweetheart?! Oh dear, looks like your back's gotten so sore! Hey, you've saved up some money! Maybe we'll head off to one of those massage parlors that's opened up close by! You clearly need to relax once in a while!

"_Or maybe we could have him come around, with his__** big, strong hands.**_"

Hmmm? What was that? I could have sworn I heard the sound of a _stupid bitch who ought to keep her trap shut. _Ah, well. Must have been the wind. Better close the window before I head out.

* * *

"Ah, good morning! Care to make an appoint- wait, aren't you…"

"Well, actually, it's just about noon, but anywa-huh?"

It's not really that out of the picture to see familiar faces outside of school. Some work, some play, others share the same misery as you do dragging themselves through cram school.

That said, there's often some places you'd expect people to be moreso than others. It's kind of weird, spotting a school idol, shopping in a regular grocery store with their parents, for example. Or perhaps a teacher, spending an inordinate amount of yen at the arcades, hogging space over some kid who can actually afford the time to mess around.

So, it goes without saying I never really expected to find a guy like him working around these parts.

"Oh, hey, it's you! Kawashiki, right?"

"If you're going to guess, at least think of a name that's plausible, Tobe-san."

"A-aha, my bad, my bad. But seriously, it's on the tip of my tongue! You might just have a hard name to remember, that's all!"

"…I'm pretty sure having the same name as one of Japan's most prolific motorcycle companies would at least make my name easy."

"Oh? Ah, wait, I got it now! It's Suzuki, isn't it?"

"….that's not even remotely close, why would….how would you even think of that?"

"….is it Honda?"

"Oh, for the love of-it's Kawasaki, alright? Jeez!"

"Haha, that was going to be my next guess, honest."

Uhuh. Sure, it would be.

Seriously, what kind of idiot would mix up a name this much!?

_Well, there is this boy we know. You know the guy, black hair, cute, quite the eye candy, and has a big, __**meaty…**_

"A-ANYWAYS, what the hell are you doing here?"

"W-woah, geez, that scared me! You shouldn't be speaking that loud, that ain't good for anybody's heart!"

Dude, have you even heard yourself in class?

"Well, school years only got a few weeks left before it ends, right? Finals exams are over, so I figure I'd try out part-time work at my aunt's parlour."

"As a masseuse?"

"Haha, I wish. Nah, just taking care of front desk. Though I would have enjoyed rubbing oil over some college hotties, hehe."

"You do realize how scummy that sounds when you're saying that crap out loud, right? I AM a girl, you know?"

"Ah, my bad, my bad. Hayato's always told me I don't have much of a filter. Even put taking care of that on my New Year's resolution."

"You don't say."

You're not supposed to say that out loud, dumbass. It's not going to come true now.

Well, not that it matters. If you're going to rely on superstition to take care of your own mess, that's on you, bucko.

"Well, anyways, I'd like to apply for an appointment. You do walk-in's?"

"Hmm? Ah, sure, sure! Place has just opened up, so not too many crowds yet. Just pick which massage you want, and in a few minutes, Auntie- errrr, the massage lady'll come out and take you in."

Huaaaah, that's a relief. That'll be one way to get your mind off of him. _Him? Who's him?_ _Haha, I've forgotten already! Man, is it good to be-_

"By the way, we've got a referral program that gives other people discounts if one of their pals happened to have a massage already. Why don't you ask Hikigaya to come by sometime?"

….gRAAAAHHH! Why!? Why did he have to mention him _now?_

"Oh, you DON'T say!?"

Control your voice, Saki. Keep your frame. Do like dad used to.

"Ah, well, you know, he's in our class as well, so I get used to seeing him around. I'm just saying, since you're friends with him, you could bring him in to relax? Guy seems awfully groggy every day."

_Well, it can't be helped. After all, if he's spending all that free time sculpting that __**magnificent body of his…**_

"I-I'll keep that in mind, Tobe, thanks. Now, anyways, about the appoint-"

"I mean seriously, it's not like he's a bad guy, I know that. It's just a shame he acts like a _tight-ass_, all the time, he'd probably be more popular if he was as open as he was back in Kyoto."

"I-I wouldn't really know much about his tight ass, so I can't really say!"

….

….oh god, you said that out loud?

Oh GOD, did you really say that out loud!?

What the hell's the matter with you! He's talking about his attitude, not his….GYAHHHHHH.

Stupid, STUPID, there wasn't even a view of his…._butt…_on the damn photo! Why the fuck would a Freudian slip occur now!?

_Well, it's not like he leaved much to the imagination anyways. Shame, maybe he'd show more if you just asked._

It was an **accident, **brain. How exactly are we going to get permission for second helpings, uh, second **photos?**

"_Hmmmm, Kawakami, I'm trying to be a dense idiot, but I'm dummy thicc and the clap of my asscheeks keeps attracting all the girls. Can you just take a peek down there and see what the problem is?"_

….I am going to get a **fucking lobotomy** first chance I get, I swear to god…

…cant even get my name right in my own imagination, can you!?

"Ummm, Honda-errr, Kawasaki-chan, you ok? You look more spaced out than Yui in science class."

"Huh? Oh, it's uh…it's nothing. Sorry, just…let me see your catalogue of massages? I'm not all that focused today."

"Ahhh, why didn't you say so earlier? Of course, of course! Well, first, let's start with the more 'normall-ish' ones. The clinic's supposed to specialize on some of the more 'foreign' techniques, like Chinese and such, but I'll just start from the top. So, here's our regular thirty-minute massage. Takes care of pretty much your entire body. Next…"

* * *

"Thank you for choosing the hour-long session. Since you're a friend of Kakeru, I can assure you, I'll take care of you well!"

"Ah, uh, we're just classmates, ma'am. But yeah, thanks. I'm looking forward to it."

The middle-aged woman smiled, a gentle smile. Looks like things are going smoothly so far.

"So, before we start, by all means, tell me. What's the main problem you've been having recently that's brought you to our clinic?"

_Well, you see miss, it all started when this boy I knew showed be a picture of his giant cock…_

"M-my upper back, ma'am! It's, uh, been pretty rough on me recently, haha!"

No, brain. You do not get to sully the kindness of this innocent woman. I won't allow it.

_Awww, but where's the fun in that? Surely, a woman of her age must be…experienced when it comes to the wiles of men…_

That is **enough! **

"Oh, really? And so young? Hmmm, it doesn't seem like you have an overly large bosom, so that seems strange. Do you tend to slouch when studying?"

"Haha, yeah, I guess that would be it!"

Yes. That.

And _nothing else_.

…_you really need to be more honest with yourself, you know that, Saki?_

"Oh, you poor dear. So young and beautiful, you really should take good care of your health. It won't be too long till you become like me, you know. Best take care of yourself in the best years you have left."

"N-noted."

"But anyways, dispense your clothes and lie down now. Or, if you're uncomfortable with me seeing you naked, I could always fetch a garment for you."

"N-nude is fine, thanks."

_Oh, I bet it is, isn't it, you naughty girl. _

Son of a….since when did my mind get so perverted, geez!?

_Well, it all started when you accidentally clicked on that tab on mom's computer when we were nine…_

…oh, yeah. Right.

"Right, now lie down, dear, and we can start."

As I descended myself onto the soft, warm bed, all my worries seemed to flutter away.

Ahhh, maybe this is what I needed from everything. A full hour dedicated to relaxation, before I have to get back to school and work and Hikigaya and stress and Hikigaya and mock exams and….

Oh. I'm doing it again. Damn it, brain. You were awfully subtle that time, weren't you?

_Hey, you said it, not me. And I am you, don't blame me!_

Well, you haven't exactly been helping me much this past hour. At the very least, chill out for the next one.

"Alright, I'm about to start. You ready, Kawasaki-san?"

"Yeah. Go all out, ma'am."

"Right. And here….we…..go."

Mmmmphh, that pressure! Those fingers! Oh wow, that's so much more intense than when mom does it! You really can't compare to a professional, huh?

Fuuahhhh, that's hitting deep. I can start to feel my back getting loose. Truly, this is one of the more underrated joys of life. Haha, I might have to bite back moans…

_I mean, you could..._

Don't. Start. Brain.

"By the way, are you up for some small talk while the massage goes on, Kawasaki-san? We're new, so you're only the second of Kakeru's classmates to come in."

"Ah, yeah, I don't mind at all. Who's the first, if you don't mind me asking?"

"A quite handsome boy. Does the name Hayama Hayato ring a bell?"

…well, figures. The loudmouth probably begged the pretty boy to come around, and he obliged.

"Yeah, I'm well aware. He's pretty hard to miss, the guy's basically a household name for Chiba's student body at this point."

"Ahaha, is that so? He must be quite popular then."

"Oh, you don't know the half of it. There's basically a line of girls peeking in our class windows at the start of every break, just peeking in on that guy. And the cheers during the sporting events, it gets grading on the ears after a while. There's no other person that comes close to him in popularity, even in the year above."

"Haha, from what you're saying, he seems like quite the charmer. Well, between you and me, I can assure you he seems to be quite the humble fellow."

"He's pretty damn courteous, I'll give you that. What, was he all smiles and sunshine when he came around?"

A chuckle escaped the mouth of the lady.

"Haha, no no, in fact, when he came, he looked quite stressed. Gaunt, you could say. He still left quite an impression, you know. Not every day a young man like him comes around with such a natural charm."

In fact, during the time he came in for his massage, he was talking about another boy, like he was a rival of some sorts."

"…a rival, huh?"

Heh, at least I'm not the only one with Hikigaya rummaging around my head. Bet from the outside looking in, it's probably strange as hell that the Prince of Sobu would even try to stoop so low to get on the same level as Hikigaya. You'd think that he'd have to climb down so many stairs of that ivory tower of his, just to even look him in the eye.

Jokes on those bastards, Hikigaya just casually walked himself up to the top. And he might as well have taken the elevator there, with how easy he makes it look.

I'd be lying if some part of me wasn't at the very least amused at the notion that the loner of Sobu High is living rent-free in Hayama's head. It really is quite the funny thought.

….haha. Hikigaya really is one hell of a boy, ain't he!

_Haha, not just a boy. He's a __**man. **__A hot, sexy man that, if you'd just stop being a tsundere for one moment, you'd just be able to drag him to your room, rip his clothes to shreds and…_

"MmMmph!"

"Ah, what's wrong!? Sorry, did I press someplace too hard?"

Crap, I moaned! What the hell's wrong with me!?

_Haha, looks like somebody's starting to get a little more honest with themselves…_

Eat shit and die, inner me!

"Uhh, no, it's uh, nothing. The massage was just…that good, haha. Nothing to worry about, really."

It's a half lie. This is actually doing wonders for my back and shoulders. The last thing I want to do is desecrate the poor woman's hard work with my perversion.

"But, uh, yeah, back to Hayama. Yeah, all of the other girls seem to be wrapped around his finger, but I haven't really noticed much. Even if I did, it's probably unhealthy to just focus on someone that much just because of a dumb crush."

_Oh hi pot, name's kettle. How are you this fine afternoon?_

"Ah, that's a good mindset to have, Kawasaki-san! Celebrity worship is everywhere these days, a nice girl like you ought to not put her hopes and dreams on somebody else."

"A-ahaha, thanks."

I wouldn't really call myself nice, but at this point, I'm so relaxed to even bother correcting her. Seriously, her hands are magic!

_Wanna know who else's hands might be magical_.

Come on, that one's too easy. You could do better.

Wait. Why am I goading you on?!

_Hey, you said it. Not me._

"But yeah, I have a feeling I have a good idea of who that rival of his is. Don't worry, with Hikigaya around, I'm fairly certain the guy'll be looking at things from the ground like the rest of us."

"….uh, Hikigaya? Ah, but Hayama-san said his name was…."

Tch, Hikitani probably. That nickname stopped being funny the first time around, honestly.

"Ah, that? What Hayama-san said was probably a nickname everybody uses for the guy. Hikigaya's his real name, I can assure you."

"Ahhh, if you say so. Still, what a peculiar nickname then. You'd want a nickname to be similar to somebody's real name right? I just can't find the connection, when comparing the two…"

...you have a hard time finding a difference between Hikigaya and Hikitani? Aren't the Kanji written in the exact same way? Eh, whatever.

"But I digress. Hmmm, you are in the same class as Kakeru and Hayama-san, Kawasaki-san. I've had girls from Sobu who were in different classes or year levels, and they've visited only because Kakeru-chan said Hayama was here. I was so sure that you'd at least harbor a bit of attraction to him too."

"Heh, there's nothing going on there, I can assure you. I already have someone I like."

…wait, 'someone I like'? Why the hell did I say something like that!? I don't….

_Shessh, when are you gonna stop being in denial? Just admit it already, there's no stakes involved._

There's nothing to admit, cause there's **nothing. There. **

"Ah, is that so? Well, you're a lovely, young lady. I'm sure you'd be able to reach out to his heart in no time flat. I'll be honest, just between you and me? Compared to the other schoolgirls who've come by, you're by far the least frustrating to deal with."

"Haha, is that right? They ask about Hayato a lot, I take it?"

"Oh, you would have no idea! 'How muscular was he?' 'What massage did he take?' 'Was he a moaner?'"

Oh wow, it's even worse than I thought. Seriously, are all girls in this damn school thirsty as hell? God, it must be ridiculous, just being that hot and bothered over a single boy!

…...

…._well, I mean…_

I'm sorry, do I have to mentally **choke a bitch?**

_B-but that's suicide!_

No, that would be murder.

_But I'm you!_

Then how come I can't trust you?

_Because, you stupid girl, you're in denial and you just can't handle the fact that you're head over heels over-_

"A-anyways, how much time do I have left?"

"Awww, do you want to leave already? I apologize if my skills weren't up to your standards."

"N-no, no! It's nothing like that? I, uh, just want to know how much time longer I get to stay here! Your skills are divine, ma'am, I just want to know what's left."

"Ah, in that case, we're a little over half-way done. Don't worry, I'll be sure to go through each and every part of you thoroughly, so that you'll be fully satisfied."

"T-thanks, I-ouuuuggghhh."

Agh, she really stands by her words, doesn't she? Sigh, well, I came here to relax, right? Maybe a little nap wouldn't hurt after all…

* * *

"Thanks a bunch for coming over! Hope we'll be seeing you again!"

Tobe's voice reverberated from inside the building as I walked out into the afternoon weather. Honestly, the whole ordeal was actually quite pleasant. Granted, it's not really something to rely on with a high schooler's budget.

Hmmm, maybe once in a while should be enough. Part time does get to a girl after all. Or maybe I should start picking up tutoring as a side gig…

Granted though, the main problem's still not resolved. My body's feeling the best it ever has been in month's, and yet my mind's _still _wandering over to that guy. Son of a bitch, once he gets inside your head, one way or another, he really does know how to set up a tent over there.

Ugh, well, there's more than one way to deal with that. Maybe I'll just fully devote myself to my studies or something. Take a break once in a while, maybe to talk to Ebina. Maybe even Yuigahama, since she's going through all the trouble of wanting to be my friend. Probably should avoid Hikigaya, though. Can't imagine how much worse things are going to be if I end up meeting up with hi-

"…hmmm? Oi, is that you Kawasaki?"

….oh, no. Oh, no no no no no no** no no no**. Nope, nu-uh. Not happening. Oh great, imaginary me is coming out of her shell. Great, I see her smiling, I see her giggling and grasping her fingers together, she's here, she's back, she's going to be loud as hell, god no, **why! **Why now! Why here! Why on earth would he be-

Why'd _**you**_ gotta show up now!?

"Oh, **hi,** Hikigaya! Fancy meeting you hErE!"

"….ah, you alright there, Saki? Not like you to be so formal? Problem back home?"

Au contraire, my dear….my Hachi….

….my guy.

The problem couldn't be _any closer_ if it tried.

"Or, wait. Do you have a fever? Crap, you need me to check your temperature or something? I'll just put my hand over your forehead and…"

"N-no, it's fine, haha! Don't worry about it. Probably just out of it, ya know? School's nearly over, and…just got a lot on my mind, ya know?"

"Ah, well…I guess that makes sense," he relents as he glances at my entire body to see if there was anything else wrong.

_Oh? Seeing something you like, you sly little…_

"B-but ah, anyways! What brings you around this side of town? You don't exactly live close by, if I recall correctly."

"Ah, there's a store around here that happens to sell something specific that I needed. After I got it, I recalled Tobe bragging that he'd be working around these parts. I just decided to check it out, call it a whim or whatever."

With a small exhale, he brought his hand to his head, scratching and moving about those _gorgeous black locks_of his around as he's thinking of what else to say.

…ok, _gorgeous black locks?_ Man, I must be really out of it today.

_Deniiiaaaaaalllllllll._

**Shut it….**

"Speaking of, I actually caught you walking out of the place. How was the massage, anyways?"

"Hmmmm? Well, looks like Tobe ended up saying something right, for once. It was actually quite nice, in fact. Guy even specifically asked me to see if you wanted to come along sometime."

"Pffft, Tobe really said that? Man, guy's been awfully cordial ever since Kyoto. What, did he give any other reason?"

"Nah, he just called you a nice as- **tight-ass!** That's it, tight-ass, my mistake! Whew, the weather's really getting to me, it's quite a hot day, isn't it, haha!"

"….it's your everyday autumn noon."

"Then, it must be allergies, haha!"

"You just said that it was because all the school stuff's been getting to you."

"HAHAHA, so I dId, DiDn'T I? Wow, that just shows how out of it I am today, aha!"

Calm down, Saki, _calm. Down._ Just do like dad used to do. Deep breaths. Nice. And slow.

Nice….and slow…

"Well, anyways, your house is pretty close by, right? Since it's in the path of where I'm heading, let's just have a chat till we walk back to your place."

"E-eh? What made you think I was planning on heading back home?"

"I mean, that's what it seems like, to me. Can't imagine you'd be staying out here all day if you're really as fried as you say you are."

Well, you know what? He's got a point. The sooner I can just retreat into the kind, warm confines of my own home, the better it is for me to deal with these…conflicting emotions.

And, maybe it's a blessing that Hikigaya's here! It's just an awkward photo after all. Maybe all I need is just to deal with the root of the problem head on, and I can finally go my way.

_Or, and hear me out here…you don't do that. He's a hormonal teenager, you're a hormonal teenager, can't imagine he'd decline an 'invitation', if you know what I'm saying._

For the last time, me, he's a good friend. Now, I will admit…there might be some chemistry there. I…I will admit, he's surprisingly easy on the eyes once you get used to that stare of his, so I might have…..spent time in class looking at him while he's preoccupied….

…and take the initiative, when it comes to inviting him to hang out…

…and maybe, routinely checked all pictures of us together often…

…ok, fine, fine, I'll admit, it _may_ crush, ok? But a small crush, nothing more, nothing serious. Just a couple small sparks here and there, not even amounting to an ember. It'll fade, right?

…right?

…_uh-huh. _

Oh, shut it.

"Yeah, sure. That sounds like a plan, Hikigaya."

_Step 1: complete. Now, for steps 2 through 69…_

Tch, this might be harder than I thought

* * *

…

"So, uhhh, it's been a while since I've been over. How's the rest of the family?"

"Oh, you know, the usual. Just basic family business, most of the talk's been on me, for obvious reason. I'm approaching my final year, after all."

Well, that, and the fact that they're really trying to play matchmaker between me and some guy they've only known for a season, tops. Seriously, what kind of main-protagonist bullshit does this guy have, really?

_Well, there's the underdog story, the strange, unique charisma, the hidden kindness behind all the rough edges, and as of just today, we're now __**intimately **__aware of how __**fucking hot he really is**__…_

"Ah, is that so? Well, it's sorta the same on my end. The folks back home are still on my case when it comes to science and mathematics. Says they'll hire a tutor if my second semester grades aren't up to par?"

"Hmm? Why didn't you say so earlier, that's my specialty! Next time we study together, just bring what you've got a problem with. It's unfair if you're just helping me out on my work (_maybe you can help me with something __**else**__)_."

"Trust me, that is **not **a rabbit hole you want to descend into. Your work is at least salvageable, you'd think I was having a stroke if you took a look at my past test sheets."

"Hey, there's no harm in trying, right? Come on, just show me (_that's not the only thing he can show us, amirite?)_, we can take all the time we need for the both of us to ace next year!"

"Uh, ahah, I guess I could show you, if you're so willing. Don't say I didn't warn you, though."

"Hehe, coming from you, Hikigaya, it wouldn't hold a candle to all the batshit crazy things you've been up to this past year (_or fuck it, earlier today_)."

…this has been strangely smooth-going, so far. Dare say, it's actually been quite wholesome, _minus the comments from the peanut gallery_. Shouldn't be surprised, really, I've spent enough time with this guy to know how chill he is when he's not on your case. I guess, part of me feels kinda glad he didn't go full 'anti-Sagami' on me when he dealt with my situation. Hehe, I almost kind of felt bad for the girl….

…then I realized just how much of a pain it was to clean up behind her during the Culture Festival. Look, I know Hikigaya's moved on, but seriously, girl practically got away scot free with everything. Frustrating as hell, honestly.

"By the way, uh….how's Taishi going?"

"….that's not something I expected to hear out of your mouth. Normally, you ask about Keika."

"No, it's just…he's planning on heading to Sobu, right? I just get the feeling, from what Komachi's talked to me about, that it's less him trying to follow his big sister's footsteps, and more…trying to go the same way his crush is heading. Damn punk."

"Pffft, I'm sure it's a mixture of both. And Komachi's a one of a kind girl, if she had to put up with you her whole life. At least he's chasing someone decent instead of that delinquent chick he was obsessed with a year back."

"Oi, oi, what do you mean, 'having to put up with me'? I'll have you know that I'm the best possible older brother someone could have!"

"Heh, is that right? I sometimes overhear her and Taishi's talks, you know? It's not in an older brother's best interest to make their siblings worry, you know?"

_And it's not in a turned on schoolgirl's best interest for you to still have clothes on, you know?_

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, that's something I've been planning of taking care of, recently. After all, my plan always was to leave up the possibility of 'house-husband' as an option, so of course, being more responsible is a goal of mind."

"Oh my god, this house-husband shit again? Geez, I thought it was a joke the first time you said it. What guy in this day and age thinks about THAT as an option."

Ahhh, sometimes it's frustrating, hearing how much of a truant this buffoon wants to be. Jeez, with a bit more application, this guy could seriously make a name for himself, wherever he puts himself in

_Well, if he puts himself into you, then he'd be making a name for __**you**__, wouldn't he?_

Oh, haha, real funny, me. Like I'd ever accept the idea of him just staying home, taking care of the kids all day! Just lazing around, taking care of the house, preparing meals….

"Jeez, no need to be so harsh, Saki. It's not like I'm putting all my eggs in one basket, it's just an option if it proves beneficial to both my future wife and I!"

…welcoming the wife back home, kissing her as she enters the house, preparing nice warm meals after a rough day….

"But yeah, I suppose if I were to take care of kids at home, I'd guess I'd be one hell of an enabler, haha. Maybe I'll ask Yukinoshita for ideas on how to apply proper discipline. Or, wait, never mind, Shiomeguri-senpai's probably a better option. I'd rather not decimate son's soul at the tender age of three."

…massaging her back, sneaking kisses as they cuddle, playing around with their cute little baby…

"With that being said, something like that is probably going to make you feel uncomfortable, right? Can't imagine you wanting anything to do with aspirations like that, I guess."

"….go on."

"Errr, I beg your pardon?"

"I-I'm just being curious, that's all! If you've really put that much thought into something like this, then I might as well hear you out!"

"I-I'm sorry, you actually WANT me to go into detail about what I'd do if I were a house-husband?"

"L-look, anything coming out of your mouth (_like your tongue) _is probably going to be a lot better than all the monotony I'll be finding back at my desk. By all means, humor me!"

W-well, it's not every day that a man is planning on having his wife be the breadwinner of the family! By all accounts, I'll just hear him out just to see if such a lifestyle would be…_beneficial_**, **if I were to ever be put into a position like that.

…with my future husband, I mean. Not Hikigaya.

…rhetorically speaking.

"Alright, fine, I suppose I've had conversations take weirder turns in the past, thank you Zaimokuza, so I guess there's no foul going into detail, right?"

With a long sigh, he looks like he's about to go onto one of his spiels about society and all the crappiness of the conformists and whatnot.

Well, that's how it usually is, but the subject matter this time around's even more out of the ordinary, and just so happens to be quite _frustratingly_ intriguing.

"Well, for one, despite what lots, and I mean_ lots_ of people might claim, I'm actually quite a lot more diligent when it comes to the house than one might expect. When you have two workaholics back at home, you're pretty much expected to take care of yourself. Doubly so, when you've got a little sister running about."

"Hah, I…I can definitely relate there. Hell, Taishi's the same age as Komachi, so we would have gone through that phase at the exact same time."

"I'm honestly not that surprised if quite a few people had that same kind of childhood. This country's education is always gonna hammer in good habits and discipline in its curriculum, no matter what age you are or how much you're willing to listen to the drivel. So you either listen the first time and make things easier for yourself, or not and just get screwed later down the line. As much as it's a drag, I'm glad younger me actually had some kind of work ethic so I don't have to suffer too much now."

"Heh, I bet you were a cute kid."

"Same eyes, I'm afraid."

"Oh….my apologies, then."

"Heh, not like you're responsible for these two sons of bitches. Anyways, a house husband's expected to take care of the kids and handle chores, right. Perhaps, in their free time, they might find supplementary work on the side, either online, or through anything with minimal time commitment, or something like that."

As we went around the corner, his brow furrowed, though otherwise, his face seems quite serene. All this logic of his is coming out quite seamlessly, like it was rehearsed. Seems like for all the silliness the notion was, the guy actually really did think the whole thing through. No half-assed means to ease away, or anything.

"So yeah, from a cursory glance, it's not exactly out of the question for me to actually pull it ooff. After all, I have had hands-on experience in everything that's really warranted. I've taken care of Komachi since birth, taken care of the house with my parents out of the picture for the most part, and, well…suffice to say, I've kept my hands full with all kinds of unique assessments these past months, haven't I? I dare say, it would barely take much practice for me to fully immerse myself into such a role."

"That's…it's actually a pretty concise summary, I'll admit. But you're missing one important thing."

The _most important _part, as a matter of fact. I-I'm just going to point it out, since he's missed it. No other reason, really…

"Hmmm? It looks like I've already covered anything. What do you think I missed?"

"Well, hypothetically speaking…how would you treat your future wife?"

My feet are shuffling in place, my hands are grabbing themselves behind my back nervously, come on, it's just a simple, simple question, what's with the shaking?

_You + him x marriage = the secks, Saki._

I-I wasn't thinking of that, I-I swear!

"The wife? Well, it's uh…to be honest, you've blindsided me there. I haven't really put much thought when it came to that. I figured, the day I do get hitched, I'd just have to adjust my strategy accordingly."

"Strategy?"

"Well yeah, every girl-well, I should say, woman, would each have their different quirks and qualities, frustratingly. To be honest, it's hard just thinking about some kind of tactic that would work universally. Honestly, I'm stumped, I'm gonna have to need some kind of example if you're that interested in following my train of thought."

"Then, HOW ABOUT ME!?"

"Yeah, I thought so too…wh-ah, what!?"

SHIT, SHIT SHIT. I said that out loud. Fuck, oh god, oh crap, mitigate the damage Saki, MITIGATE!

"Well, this is just a theoretical situation, and I mean….**very…theoretical**….but since I'm already here…what would you actually do i-if…**I**….were your girl-wife, I mean?"

"That's uh….oh jeez, you're putting me on the spot here. Like if you asked me about Yukino or Yui, I'd probably be less nervous, since they're not here right now, you know?"

…what's that pain, hurdling into my chest. I….don't like it at all.

Is it…is it jealousy?

_No, it's just signaling your imminent period, of __**course**__ it's fucking jealousy, you daft girl!_

Oh, shut up, me.

"But, well…if you insist. Just…don't be too hard on me, 'k, Saki?"

"O-of course! What's said here, stays here! Promise!"

Also, because I feel like what could be said next might be embarrassment several magnitudes beyond what I'm able to handle, so…yeah, better keep this under wraps.

"Ahem, well…for the most part, a relationship works best if you're able to successfully tackle on both the strengths and weaknesses of your soulmate. I guess since they're pretty few, and prone to change over the next year, I'll start with your cons first, if you don't mind."

"A-ah, of course! I'm down with hearing my own weaknesses!"

_I'm pretty sure at the moment, the one weakness you have is the handsome stud in front of you._

G-guh!

"Well, for one, outside of your friends and family, you've still got that abrasive nature. As much as how sincere your soft side is, I'll get to that later, like hell anyone looking out's going to see it. Chances are, that's a lot of quarrels and beef, and it might be left up to me to calm you down."

…calm me down, huh?

"_Heh, another argument at work, Saki? Please don't tell me you were the one who started it again…Looks, how about a massage, to soothe your body? Come on, lie down…"_

That…doesn't sound so bad, actually…

"Not to mention, when we have to head out. With how attractive you are, it might be a problem when it comes to public outing."

"E-ehhh? What!?"

H-he thinks that I'm…that I'm….!

"Yeah, that kind of thing is a double-edged sword, especially round these parts. Aside from all the jealous glances and libido-based treatment you'd have to deal with, I'd probably have to start grooming myself properly to make sure I'm not _completely _overshadowed by your beauty. Haha, that's never been my strong point, to be honest."

"W-well, that's just a matter of habit! Besides, i-it's the man that makes the clothes, anyways, there's bound to be something that fits you just right!"

_Like a naked apron, perhaps? Would accentuate all those __**tight **__muscles, nicely…_

…

_I don't hear a noooooo….._

"And then there comes the children."

…did somebody say _kids? _

…cute, little, adorable, bundles of joys? _Kids!?_

"T-the kids?"

"Uh, yeah, if we were married, then we'd probably have to have kids at some point, right? Unless you wanna wait till we're in our mid 30's, after having the time of our lives doing…whatever it is young couples do."

"N-no! No, having kids at a young age is fine! Perfectly fine, haha!"

Kids are cute, kids are nice, kids are sweet! Who wouldn't want kids? Keika's a kid, cute as a button, too! A tiny Hikigaya, probably super adorable!

_And, to make kids, you got to…hehe..._

"W-well, yeah. You at work obviously means I'll be handling them back home. That's basically the whole point of a house-husband, generally. Depends on how many kids we would-well, excuse me, _I _would, I'd have to adjust my plan accordingly. So, let's say the number of kids I would have would be about…"

"Five."

"Yeah, that woul-wait, **five**?"

"I mean, uh…that's just how many kids there are in my family, including me! Was just thinking bout that, haha!"

"Ah, ok then. But yeah, jeez, can't imagine the amount of work I'd need to do with five children…."

_Oh, trust me. It'd be a lot more fun than you could possibly imagine, Hachi._

…since when did I call him by pet names? And why does that sound so nice on the tongue!?

"Well, that's the main problems I'd have to deal with. You, uh, aren't uncomfortable with the whole, you-and-I theory, are you?"

Marriage…wedding bells…pure, true love…

"(giggles)…nahhhhhh. Not at all. No issue taken. What. So. **Ever**."

Happy family.

"Er, ok. Well, it seems like you're looking better now. Guess this talks' been a nice distraction so far, hasn't it?"

"Haha, trust me, I've already been distracted the whole day. Don't really mind however this talk goes, really."

Ok, calm down, Saki. Your heart's not in the right place. This whole day's been turbulent as all hell, just because of one _**sexy**_ picture that was accidentally sent to your phone. The less you think about it, the less it'll have an effect on you. And the longer it's going to be, the less you'll eventually think about it.

Besides, come on, it's _marriage _we're discussing here! Hikigaya's only 17, he sure as hell ain't the ideal man, yet! I mean, _granted, _give him a couple years time, through _your _nurturing and guidance, all those shortcomings of his would probably go away!

…ok, fine, maybe dating him is potentially within the realms of possibility. That's it! Just dating! I'll give him a shot, test the waters, we'll probably try to make each other happy and whatever, and it'll all be wholesome, sweet, PG 13 at the most-

(bzzzt, bzzzt. Bzzzt, bzzzt.)

"Uh, hey, Saki. You might want to get that."

"H-huh? Oh, yeah, right. Gimme a sec…"

Hmmm? It's from Keika. Why's she calling me now, all of a sudden? It's barely been a day, no way she misses me that much already. And if she's got a problem, she should be with mom and dad, right? But… the number. It's with her emergency phone…

"Hello, Keika? Is something the matter?"

"(hic) (hic) S-sa-chan? Is that you?"

"What's the matter? You…you're crying? What's going on?"

"W-well, in the picnic….there was this boy, who I wanted to be friends with. I came up to him and said hi, and he said…he said….w-uwahhhh(hic)"

"What was it? What did that boy say?"

"H-he said…he didn't want to be friends with such an ugly girl…and that he doesn't want to be near me…."

"…so he did, **did he?" **

Kid's got some fucking nerve, just saying that to a girl who just wanted to be his friend. Sometimes kids can just be needlessly cruel pieces of work, honestly. Times like this, I'm glad I lucked out with having mild-mannered, sweet siblings like mine.

"(hic)Yeah….I told mama and papa about it…they tried to cheer me up…it didn't work…."

Ah, so that's why she decided to call me, huh? Sigh, she's even using the emergency phone we got her. Poor sweetheart must really be at her wit's end, huh? Welp, better bring out the warm, big sister persona right now.

"Ah, sorry, Hikigaya. Keika's been bummed out over being called ugly by some stupid kid. You mind?"

"What kind of idiot brat would call someone like Keika 'ugly'? Son of a…you mind putting it on speaker? If it looks like I might be able to help, I'd like to know."

…he really…cares about her. Like she's her own little sister…

"Y-yeah….sure."

With the press of a button, Keika's sobs and whimpers were heard loud and clear at the corner of the street. Thankfully, this place was a pretty quiet intersection for regular pedestrians, so only cars really come around this area. It just happened to be a shortcut towards my place, but for now, I'm glad I took such a route. Last thing I want was for anyone else's heart to break over Keika's pained voice.

"Keika…sweetie…mom and dad. What did they say?"

"Mama…told me that I was pretty and he was wrong. Papa said the same thing too! But…maybe they're lying, just to cheer me up! Maybe I really am ugly!"

"That's not true at all! You're such a sweet, beautiful little girl! Anyone would be happy to have you as their daughter!"

"B-but the boy…all his friends started laughing at me and pointed at me. C-calling me names…no one helped. I just…(hic)…I had to run far a-wahah-hey!"

Motherfu-it's multiple boys? Fuck, it's beyond teasing at this point, it's flat out bullying. God, I've never felt such a desire to beat the shit out of somebody barely in grade school. How heartless could they be?

"Well, they're wrong, Keika! Don't listen to them, they're just being stupid. You're fine the way you are, don't let them decide that for you!"

"Y-you're so nice, Sacchan…but you're my sister. You're s-supposed to be nice to little sisters. I-I really am ugly, aren't I? N-no one is going to love me, or hold my hand, or be my prince charming…wahhhhh!"

Damn it, those words really got to her, huh? Crap, she's not listening to anybody else, this might fuck her up real bad. It's almost the end of the school year too, so she'll be switching classes. Oh, god, she might end up not making any friends, and be a recluse like I was. God, no, not Keika, she's too sweet and kind! Nono, that can't happen to her, please don-

"Hey, Keika? You there?"

Uh? Hikigaya, you…

"H-ha-chaan? Is that you?"

"Haha, yeah, I'm uh…I'm with your sister now."

"H-hic….Hacchannn…"

Such a painful croak came out of the phone. I gazed at Hikigaya's eyes, and my god. There were times where it was scary, or just plain creepy. Even as his friend, I can admit that.

But man, it really looked like listening to Keika really tugged his heartstrings.

"Listen, Kei-chan. You're listening right now, right?"

"Y-yeah…"

"I'm a boy, right?"

"Y-yes you are…"

"And I'm not your family, so I won't lie, right?"

"u….uhuh. Guess so…."

"And tell me, between me and those little monsters who laughed at you, who do you think is cooler."

"Y-you! O-f course, its you! You're so tall, a-and cool!"

"Hahahaha! Well, I wouldn't say that. But yeah, at least it means that you like me enough. So, just listen very carefully to what I'm about to say, ok?"

"(hic) y-yes…."

He looked at me, and reached out his hand. The phone. He wanted the phone.

When he took it from my grasp, brushing his hands against me (so soft), he knelt down, as if to concentrate and collect himself, he…

Well, looks like he's about to fix another problem.

"You're one of the sweetest, kindest, _prettiest_ girls that I've ever met. Now, your sister has brought over some girls over to help her out with her homework. You remember those girls?"

"Y-yes?"

"What were their names, Keika?"

"Y-yui…and Ebina…"

Those study sessions, sometimes Hikigaya couldn't make it, so I made arrangements with Ebina instead. She tends to bring Yuigahama along as well, since I had pretty good grades, and Ebina wanted me to make friends her by helping her out.

"And…what do you think of them?"

"T-they're really pretty. Yui's like a princess, and Ebina's s-so funny…"

"I know, I know. They're my fr…they're my friends too. Heh, sometimes they talk to me about you, and you know what they say?"

"W-what? What do they say?"

"The same thing your mom and your dad, and your big sister, and probably even your big brother would say to you. How adorably cute you are, and how they wished they had such a wonderful little sister like you."

"T-they do?"

…he really is good with children. It's…amazing. Breathtaking even.

…would he be like that with his kids, one day?

"Yeah, they do. And you know what? I do too. I'd love to have such an amazing little sister like you. For one, you're much nicer than Komachi sometimes. Don't tell her that, ok?"

"H-hehehe, ok."

"Now, I mean it, she's probably going to break my games if she ever hears that. You got to pinky promise, ok?"

…would he be like that with my kids, when I get married, and loved, and have my own…

"H-hehe, but I'm not there, Ha-chan. How can I pinky promise?"

"You just got to say it. Since you're such a good girl, I'll believe you. Just don't break it, or I'll ask your mother to put in extra broccoli for your dinner."

"Haha, ewww, n-no broccoli, please, haha! I pinky promise, I pinky promise!"

"Hehe, atta girl…"

…i-if we got married…he'd be like that with them, right? With all of them.

And…me…

"…hey, Ha-chan?"

"Yes, Keika?"

"I…I want you as my big bro too."

"Hehe, to do that, I'm going to have to marry your big sister. She probably thinks that I'm too mean and ugly, though. Ain't that right, Kawasaki?"

"W-what!? S-sa-chan, you meanie! Ha-chan's so sweet and cool! He's totally someone you should marry."

…

…

You know what?

"Heheh, don't worry Keika."

I looked at Hachiman, who was gazing back, slightly confused. Heh, maybe it was the playful look on my face.

It's finally so clear. What I wanted, was a happy family. And, now I know exactly what I could to do get it. And not without some..._personal pleasures_ as well. It was right there in front of me, and I just didn't want to give in.

Well, if there was ever a time to let go, I'm sure this occasion would be it.

Already gone through the other four phases. All that's left is acceptance.

And after that, things are going to get a lot _much more fun._

"I'm on it."

"Yeah, see, Kei-chan, she's on i…wait, what? WHAT!?"

"What!? You are! I'm…I'M SO HAPPY! HA-CHAN, I GET TO BE YOUR LITTLE SISTER! MOM, DAD! (HA-CHAN's GOING TO BE MY BIG BROTHER!)"

Aaaaand with that, my dear little sister's run off, with enough energy to outrun a car.

How curious, that's about as much as how I'm going to be the moment I _stop holding back._

"Heh, just joking, Hikigaya."

_Well, that's half-true. Ya know, since I don't really have a plan yet, I can't really say I'm on it, yet, can I? _

_Though god, I __**wish **__I were on it, right about now…_

"D-don't give me those kinds of heart attacks, Kawasaki! For gods sake, I can't take that kind of sneak attack."

Hehehe. You're one to talk.

"But for real, though. Thanks for what you did to my little sister. I really appreciate it."

"Eh? Ah, don't mention it. Besides, it hasn't been too long ago I've had to deal with a girl who got name-called by stupid boys. This time around was hell of a lot simpler, all things considered."

…he'll be an amazing father. A father to all of his children, boys and girls alike.

"Well, I suppose it's probably for the best that I head off now. If my memory serves correctly, from here, it's only a couple of turns to your place, right? If I head to the right, it'd be easier for me to head back to my place."

"…why don't you come back to my place?"

"….hmmm?"

"I'm just saying, it'd be a bit weird, just leaving you hanging here after what you did to help Keika. Maybe a couple snacks, or a drink. You deserve…a little compensation, at least."

_Be sure to make it worth his while, girl. Make it so he'll __**dream **__of it, so that even his fantasies won't compare._

"Haha, as much as I can't deny the prospect of free food, especially earned free food, I got to decline. I still have some errands I have to run for my parents. Besides, if I'm rewarded, it's like putting a price on Keika's smile. I'm not exactly the best example of chivalry, but I do hold on to some sense of honor, ya know?"

…heh, damn it. Far too honorable, even when it matters the least, aren't you?

Well…worth a shot.

"Well, knowing how much of a stubborn bastard you are, I suppose we really will just leave things like that. But, and try to keep this in mind…"

One step, two steps, three steps.

Right in front of his face. Grabbing the collar of his shirt, feeling the traces of his _chest _around my knuckles, I pulled him closer.

My training to be calm and methodical is s really starting to paying off. Any lesser girl, and my tongue would already be down his throat, clawing away at his shirt and jacket, and every other piece of garment separating me from him.

But I gotta be patient, rather not be too hasty. The game's still far too early. Risk going all in on a sub-par hand, and I'll be out. Just…

Gotta work to improve my chances, that's all.

Lips near his ear, almost about to kiss and nibble it. Warm breath tickling his ear, making him shudder from the sensation **I'm **giving him.

"You'll be rewarded one day. I'll make sure of that…Ha. Chi. Man."

And with that, a turn, and a sprint away. If I look back, I might be just tempted to come back, and swoop in, strategy be damned. I wonder what face he's making, I wonder. A shy face, that I could just gobble up and devour? A sultry gaze, that'll ignite into an explosion of passion?

Who knows? All I know is, I've made him guess. It's only fair, right? After all, with that picture, that's going to…inspire me, when it comes to my future dreams. Who knows, maybe a simple whisper will give him all the stimulation he needs, to breeze through all those dreary, lonely nights.

It won't be lonely much longer. Not when _our family _is on the line. That's _my_ pinky promise to you.

* * *

"Hehe, so, is it true? Is our dear Saki finally planning on approaching the spring of romance?"

"Ahh, it looks like her head's in the clouds, dear. Reminds me of when we first met, when I saw you in that cute skirt."

"Oh shush, you scoundrel, hehe…"

"Mooom, Daaad, we're at the dinner table. The kids are here. Sheesh, remind me to never talk about me and Komachi."

"Awww, don't worry. We'll have time to talk about that another day. Hehe, she's Hikigaya's little sister, right? Who knows, maybe we might have a double wedding, save us the money…"

"Moooom, I don't to share my special day with somebody else! I mean, Hikigaya-nii-san's cool and all, but…"

"Oh, do I get another big sister too! Oh, this is the best day ever!"

"Calm down, Keika, honey, you don't want to make a mess of the table. Sheesh, and to think, you were crying so much earlier today."

"Hehe, Ha-chan's so cool! If Sa-chan wasn't going to be his bride, I might just wait for him!"

"…ok, let's not go there, sweetie. You're like six."

"Awww. Hmph."

"Ok, but seriously, mom, dad. Saki's been like this for the past fifteen minutes. She hasn't touched her food, she's just had her head in her hands, blushing and grinning. It's kinda creepy now."

"Awww, don't be like that, Taishi. You can't underestimate a maiden in love. In fact, when I met your father…"

"Nope. Stop. I don't wanna hear it. Clearly, you've made me rethink how I'm going to ask Komachi out. Clearly, I got to keep my head out of the clouds like sis over hear, and…ok, seriously, Saki, you ok there? You're starting to creep me out!"

"Hmmm, what wuz that? Ah, sorry, I was just…hehehe."

"Ahh, sweet, innocent young love. How I envy you."

…well, innocent isn't exactly what I'd call it. After that…**gorgeous** picture, I feel like something too simple is out of the question.

After all, I've got to compete with so many girls. So many nice, soft, innocent girls.

Well, I've always been brutally honest with Hachiman. Not as much as the Ice Queen, but at least I'm _far more _abstract when it comes to…attaining my goals.

Hehe, I should have accepted this a lot sooner. The voice in my head's gone now. Well, it was me this whole time after all. Now, all I want to do is to be with him.

Both in the soul, and the body.

Hehehe, five children might not be enough.

Maybe six, seven? Ten?

Hehehe, stop that, stop that, Saki, gotta think about how you're going to pay the bills. After all, he's going to be the house-husband right? Ready to make dinner, take care of the kids, and…

_Comfort you, as you get home._

Oh, and he probably thinks he'll have an easier time compared to me. Trust me, I'll make sure he'll be going through **a lot **of work.

Not that he seems to be the type to tire easily, though. Not with _that body…_

Hehehe, and here I was, thinking so hard about the future these past few weeks. Now, it couldn't be any less clearer. I can imagine it right now:

A ring on a finger/_A hand at the breast_

A white dress and veil/_A dark room, with only our moans and breaths_

A nice house, for all of us to live in/A sturdy bed, ready to take whatever **we **throw at it

Children walking about the house, happy faces/_His cocky smirk, as he makes me his woman_

Just a little bit longer, and we'll be able to be a happy family, Hachiman. You'll be looking forward to that, won't you?

Daddy?/_Daddy? _

* * *

So, as it turns out, the 'D' could actually mean one of two things, here. Honestly, it's up to you which one of the two is the more lewd option.

Anyways, Saki. Honestly, my intention was to make her have one of the more humorous stories (it's the only story so far that takes place post-picture). Mainly because for some reason, the more prolific Saki stories these days tend to be more melodramatic than one would expect from a side character. Granted, I actually really do like those stories, in fact, I'd dare say I like them more than stories with Yumiko (for one, some of them actually finish), buut, sometimes something else is needed to keep things a little lighter.

Granted, I'll admit that while I had a plan for the intro, the conflict and the ending in mind, it was the part leading up to the conclusion that gave me the most problems. Mainly because, there's got to be something significant enough for Saki to join Sobu's Thirst Society. And, with how I've set things up to how much she wants to maintain control of herself, it was kind of a tough endeavor to make sure that it's not too out of place. Then, I figured, just tackle her in the one place she's been synonymous with: her family. And with that, a critical hit. Granted, unlike other characters, who were merely repressed, emotionally, and got triggered into action due to the picture playing up with their hormones, with Saki, it's more of a...snap, due to her actually trying to resist. I might alter the chapter in the future if I feel like I could remake the transition into something smoother, but for now, I think the final product is quite serviceable, later update notwithstanding.

Anyways, Meguri's next. Might add a special chapter in between, that's shorther than the others, we'll see. Maybe another update on my plans. Till then, I'll see you fellas and gals, later.


	9. Three Wishes(Present Time: YumiEbiTot)

Present Time: Three Wishes (Hina, Yumiko & Totsuka)

Well…that was certainly quite the detour.

Didn't really think I'd be helping out with another family's state of affairs this morning, but clearly, the Service Club's a 24/7 gig. Guess like an emergency fireman, I just got to heed the call, huh?

Heh, that probably sounds like a drag, come to think of it.

"_Ha-chan!"_

…well, a good deed's a good deed in the end. Keika's a cute kid. Far too sweet, reminds me of Komachi back in the day. Can't imagine a world where some brats would treat her like that. I'll give it a few years, when the _hormones _kick in, till those little shits will come running back with their tails behind their legs, at what they've missed once she grows into a lovely girl.

Well, at least she's in good spirits now. That's a relief, honestly. You spout about being the type of guy who can handle all affairs at home, last thing you want is to drop the ball once you're handed an opportunity. A lot of mileage and experience came from helping out Komachi over the years, that's for certain.

Heh, sometimes just seeing a tightly-knit family like those folks warms my stone-cold heart. Probably one of the few things I still find wholesome enough to care about, even in the rougher times.

It probably goes the same way for Kawasaki too, come to think of it. After taking care of everything, she seemed a lot more cheerful than how she usually was. Even these days, most you'd get out of her is a neutral expression at best, and a ghost of a smile if you happen to be a friend.

That probably means my relationship values with her must be up there, then, considering how giddy she was. I suppose that makes sense. I feel like I've got a good idea of what was bothering her today. Yes, if my hunch is right…

It's probably her family. If she's still figuring out her options after high school, chances are, last thing she wants is for her family to be troubled. Probably seeing me take care of Keika might have been enough the alleviate her worries. Well, that, or she's found a fellow companion who appreciates the concept of a little sister.

In all honestly though, she seemed too… eerily happy, with how everything went down. Like, I get family is family, and I'd be inclined to be indebted to whoever did my dear sister a favor (and if it's a guy, maybe set up a profile of him while I'm at it).

Whispering into my ear like that, though. I mean, I get sounding grateful, but what exactly just happened? That tone of voice seemed way too sultry, for my liking! I'm still a growing lad, last thing I want is to be goaded into some false signals!

Thankfully, I've gotten accustomed to not placing my expectations too far ahead of what this painfully logical world would allow. It probably wasn't anything special like that, I probably just heard wrong. The emotional shock of her being that close to my ear probably made my recollection bias, that's all.

Ugh, you'd think being constantly handling Isshiki and her antics would provide me with some sort of resistance to such intimate actions, but nope! Tch, maybe it's the fact that it's someone like Kawasaki pulling that kind of stunt, you just wouldn't expect something like that. Maybe if it were Yui, or even Ebina, I'd be able to handle sudden attacks like these.

Shame I wasn't able to take a glance at her expression as she withdrew from me. Turned around way too fast for me to pay attention to her face. That's a damn shame. Chances are, she was just being cheeky, and seeing maybe a teasing smile or even sticking out her tongue would have made it obvious what she was doing. Without that affirmation, I'd probably be stuck with replaying what had just transpired over and over again. As if I haven't had enough on my plate recently.

Likewise, she'd probably be able to see how utterly confused I was with what she just did. I bet if she saw something like that, she'd be giggling all the way back to her house. A relief that I didn't plan on walking her all the way back to her house, I'd never hear the end of it.

Wait, what am I even thinking. It's Kawasaki we're talking about, not Orimoto! Probably just a couple idle teasing and she'd leave it that.

Sigh, a problem for another time. Let's see, I've already gotten hold of the ribbon that Komachi asked for. Awfully plain pattern to be honest, not sure why she'd go for such a generic design, but not like I'm the expert when it comes to coordinating looks. Anyways, mom said she needed something as well. What was it again?

…ah, that's right. Makeup. Honestly, what's the deal, sending a teenage boy to purchase cosmetics? I'm not some normie who hangs out checking out girls trying out new appearances, as if I'd have an easy time with this kind of ordeal! Save me the embarrassment woman, and just head to the mall some other time! Sigh, the tribulations of having workaholics as parents…

Might as well get this over with. While I'm in the area, might as well take a look at some other things, since I've got cash to spare. Probably some cheap prescription glasses or something. With _these_ eyes, it'd probably be Clark Kent levels of effectiveness as a disguise, so perhaps it'll make sure that no one could ever recognize me. Honestly, if any of those normies spots me around those areas, that's probably for the best. Last thing I need is some over-assuming dipshit and their imaginations.

Tch, it'll probably be a wild goose chase on what 'poor girl' that I was planning on buying a gift for, or wait, even worse in their minds.

_What girl I'd be in a relationship now._

Shit, I don't even want to think about that. Already had some catharsis back in the bathroom, as petty as it may be, let's just leave it at that.

Sigh, well, best head off to the mall. Now, from here to the main district, I'd have to take a turn right over…

* * *

Hmmm, I've never really paid much attention to the billboards and advertisements on the walls. I mean yeah, they're obviously geared towards the female market, so it's not like I'm supposed to find appeal in them. Same poses, occasionally a different filter to accentuate some unique kind of sentimentality, but else, it's just a model and a product.

I guess I'm starting to pay a lot more mind to it because said advertisement I'm currently looking at outside of the store happens to match the same brand my mother wants. It's not like I can really understand the significance of what each and every brand does, and it's not like I've got the woman's intuition to make an impromptu purchase on something that would just increase my overall appeal. Yet another reason it'd make much more sense for her, or even Komachi to come around here in my stead.

Well, with everybody else's hands tied, I guess it is what it is. I'd say maybe dad could help me out with this whole ordeal, but honestly, he's got quite a load on his back from the recent texts. Well, shopping all par for the course of being a house husband, so I don't know why I'm even complaining.

"…ehhh, is that you, Totsuka?"

"M-miura-san!?"

…then again, avoiding drama might _just _be enough of a deterrent.

Those voices…damnit, what on earth are those two doing here? Oh wait, they're _girls_, you imbecile. If anything, they should be asking _you_ that.

"Ehhh? Didn't think you were the type of girl to visit around these kinds of stores."

"H-hey, maybe I'm just planning on trying something new for a change! Besides, what's exactly wrong with a girl being seen in a make-up store?"

"Well, uh…I mean, no offense, you're pretty cute and all, and I'd love to help you out with customizing a look, buuuttt… I mean, seems like you've been hovering around these shelves for quite a while. "

"H-hey, what's that supposed to mean? Don't tell me I'm barred from trying things out just because I don't look 'womanly' enough!"

…well, at the very least, seems like it's just Miura here. Anyone else in the clique, they'd probably be putting Totsuka's presence in a fashion store through Sobu's rumor mill. Probably some denigrating shit about a secret boyfriend, and how she's secretly trying to tart things up.

You know, amongst all the other usual bullshit. Tch, fucking teenagers, I swear…

"I mean, well…it's just that these kinds of things are more suited for a 'mature' demographic. I'd say, let's just settle for something a bit more subtle, to help out your cute features. No offense, but there's still a ways for you to get some shape."

"W-what I want to try out is up is my own business, thank you very much! I appreciate the advice, Yumiko-san, really. But…I still wanna try this out!"

"Heh, don't say I didn't warn you. What, you got some guy you've been meaning to impress?"

"W-WHAT!?"

"Oho, so it is, isn't it? Can't fool a woman's intuition, you know."

"…and what are you doing here, Miura-san? I bet you've got lots of makeup already! You got a boy you like as well!?"

"T-that's none of your business!"

"And what I do is none of yours!"

Well, hopefully, if it's these two, things might not end up being too problematic, after all. I consider the both of them friends of mine, so it wouldn't be nearly as awkward if they were the ones who spotted me if I entered the store.

…well, that, and they'd be convenient shields from all the leering women that might be judging my mere presence in their establishment.

That being said, looks like things might escalate into a bit of an argument. Yeah, it's barely anything more than teasing and 'no, u', but being in the same class as the main clique of the school means being prepared for any sporadic catfights that might randomly occur.

Fittingly enough, most of those involved pre-development Miura. Go figure.

I feel like it's best that I just avoid this particular confrontation. Doubt it'll escalate any further than some petty exchanges at the worst, but thankfully, they're fully immersed into whatever discussion they're having. A bit of finesse and sneaking past the shelves, and I'll probably skim past them without trouble.

That being said, might as well brace myself for all of the looks I'm about to get. Even 'Stealth Hikki' might pale in comparison to the sheer image of an ineffectual loner way out of his element in Sobu's fashion district. Oh well, might as well go in and face the musi-

"H-hikitani!?"

….ah, damn it. Not even a foot through the door, and that crappy nickname needs to rear its head around. Well, in this case, looks like it's only one person. Given that it's a girl's voice, I might just be able to scare her off if I go full creeper mode. Yeah, that'll probably put me a few points further down the social hierarchy, but honestly, I'll take that rather than…

….ah.

"E-ebina? That you"

"H-hikita…Hikigaya! That…you?"

"Heh, well, see anyone else around with such distinct eyes as mine?"

"Ah? Hmm, well, come to think of it, looking closer…"

She moved her face forward. A little _too _forward, might I add.

Guess the idea of me being here really would seem quite uncanny, huh?

"Haha, yep, it's definitely you! Definitely can't mistake _those _eyes, haha!"

"Yes, yes, dear old Hikitani going out shopping at a fashion store. I'm well aware of how that would look."

"Haha, nah, nah, that's not it. More like…didn't think I'd see you so **soon, **that's all."

"…so soon? I'm, uh, sure you were there during class, weren't you? Yeah, I think I even said hello in the hallway."

A sly giggle, and then a few more. She's never exactly shied away from rambunctious laughter.

Her fangirl side, regardless of how exaggerated it was, was also a part of her genuine self, after all.

…oh god, she better not make any perverted conclusions about me hanging out around a fashion store. I'm pretty sure she's mentioned cute guys in drag was one of her fetishes…

"Hmmm, you practicing dressing up in drag, by any chance? Oh, is this part of your secret roleplay with Hayama!? Oh, god, I haven't even considered the possibilities of you being the participant! That's sooooo hot…"

…annnnd, there it is. I just hope at the very least I'm the one topping this time around…

No, wait, I'm the one she's assuming that's crossdressing, guess I'm screwed.

…tch, what the hell, what am I even saying!?

"Listen, I'm not here for…whatever degenerate fantasy you're thinking of. And you're far too chipper, seriously. Is the mere assumption of my love life that much of a titillating thought?"

"Nah, nah, it's more like, well…"

A twirl of her hair. It was reminiscent of those shy, nervous heroines, that she conveniently had the look for. If one weren't aware of her inner personality, you'd think it was a perfect match.

Of course, to anyone seasoned with her antics, this just seems even more foreboding.

"I've, uh, been wanting to see you, recently. That's all."

"….recently? You know that you could have asked me in class if you wanted to talk in private. There's always the library, or our perpetually empty school rooftop."

"Nah, earlier today, I mean. I've…been wanting to see you since noon."

"…since noon? Well, this must be oddly convenient for you, then. I'm all ears, so if you want, I'll just hold off on my errands, so we can speak outsi-"

"Oh right, that's been bugging me. What exactly are you doing around here, Hikitani-kun? Not exactly a loner's natural habitat, is it?"

Some of her usual peppiness returned with that question. Yeah, the nickname's still as grating as ever, but I can at least handle it from her. It's the malice behind those words, not really the name itself. Heard much worse back in middle school, anyways.

"Anywhere can be a loner's habitat so long as no one's looking. Got at least three secret skills dedicated to finding such spots to mope about."

A laugh erupted from her lips. Ah, thank god, seems like I get to deal with the usual Ebina this time round. If it turned out she was hiding something like back in Kyoto, that would be a bit of a hassle at this time.

…granted, I'd still help her out. Heh, the things I do for the genuine these days.

"Hahahahaha, clearly, someone's been hanging with Mokuza. Man, I almost forget you're as much of a nerd as he is!"

"You're one to talk, you bloody fujoshi!"

"Haha, damn proud of it! So anyways, about why you're here…"

"H-hikio!?"

"H-hachiman!"

…ah, right. How quickly I forget, the four-eyed pervert wasn't the only chance encounter I've had to bear witness to in this establishment.

With a turn of my head, I faced the other two other girls. Ugh, if it were any other guy from Sobu, they'd probably be excited as hell to be in the vicinity of three of Sobu's 'golden generation'.

As for me…this just feels like a whole load of shitty timing, honestly.

"Ah, yo, Miura. Totsuka. Fancy seeing you here."

"W-we should be asking you the same thing! What the hell are you even doing here!?"

"…."

Huh, now Totsuka's just staring at me. Can't be helped, I expected this. Really am like a fish out of water.

But for real, though, why's she biting her lip while staring at me? What, does she have something to say, but she's too nervous? I guess that's fair, I don't think she was ever that close with Miura. Hell, a meek girl like her, it'd be like ice and fire between the two.

Well, water and fire, anyways. I'm sure _that _woman's has some copyright instated for that particular element.

"Ah, well, to carry over with what I was just talking with Ebina…"

"Hello!" the girl peeked out from behind my back.

"Hina! You're here too!"

"Yeah, quite convenient, surely. Anyways, I just need to pick up some cosmetics. This happened to be the store I was pointed to, that's all."

"O-oh, I see!"

Now, Yumiko was basically mimicking Ebina move for move, a twirl of her hair and a couple brief giggles. What, was the thought of me being here really that amusing? Well, I suppose it beats out being mocked and called a creep, all things considered...

"Well, anyways, didn't expect to see you two here either. Guess if you're willing to stick around for a bit, I might end up asking you for help."

At that, the two of them instantly brightened up. Not like they weren't in a weirdly good mood once I showed up, but I daresay they're downright chipper now.

I guess we're friends and all, but are girls normally this excited over meeting someone?

"W-well, if you're so keen on wanting advice, or whatever, I guess I'll lend you a hand. You should be glad, not everyday I help a guy out with accessories."

She started twirling her hair more frivolously.

"Or whatever."

…tsundere?

"I-I'm not exactly good at this kind of thing, but I-I'll try my best, H-hachiman! I'll help with **anything**!"

Hehe, good old Totsuka, with the enthusiasm. Seriously, anything she does is too damn cute! If looks could kill, she'd be listed most wanted from Hokkaido to Kansai!

Truly, such a kind, innocent soul. Sometimes I wonder if I'm corrupting her with my antics at times.

…nah, it's Totsuka. As if she's ever going to be sullied anytime soon.

"…I'm assuming those are for your sister, right Hikio? You're not buying that for some other girl….right?"

"K-komachi-chan sent you, right? A-aha, wh-why didn't she ask me? I could have helped out with her…"

Then, taking a quick glance at me again, she immediately withdrew a couple steps back, waving her hands in front of her face all flustered, not unlike a certain underclassmen during my so-called 'confessions.'

"A-ah, it's not that I mind you being here, H-hachiman! I-I'm actually quite happy that you're here!"

"Heheh, that makes two of us, Totsuka. How about you, Yumi? Glad that Sobu's most prolific loner's come around to join us?"

"….hrmph."

Oi, oi, what's with that pout? You were just offering to help a moment a girl. What are you, a tsundere?

Well, it appears that I'm at quite an amusing predicament. Right behind me, with an arm wrapped around my neck (and the faint scent of shampoo), is a somewhat enthusiastic Ebina, seemingly reveling in this impromptu meetup of her closest female friend, and the girl who she formally indulged in perverted fantasies with me. Well, Hayato too, but **the sooner we forget, the better.**

There's Miura, who's acting bashful, like she's just been caught with her hand in the cookie jar. Ebina's laughter at her expense probably isn't exactly helping either.

And Totsuka…

Ok, you're back to biting your lip again? Seriously, if you really do have something to say, out with it already! I'm starting to get nervous here.

That being said, the fact that she's _still_ waving her hands out in front of her leads to quite the innocent sight. If only I could take a candid shot…would fit snugly in my phone/

Might also even purify it of all sin, considering the previous thing the contraption took a picture of was me looking like I was about to sexually dominate someone.

Sheesh, thank god I got to deleting that photo.

But still, if I am already here, I might as well get some enjoyment out of this. I'll just tease them a bit, just to lighten the atmosphere a bit. Heheh, 'buying for another woman', eh?

"Ahaha, no, no, I'm not here for Komachi. I'm here to pick up some cosmetics for my special lady, that's all!"

At once, it felt like all sound stopped. Aha, looks like I haven't lost my touch when it came to playing practical jokes. Been a while since I've done it to Komachi, but it seems like I've struck true! Obviously, the mere fact that a guy like me might have a significant other would be extremely juicy information. Muahahaha, they'd probably get curious, and beg me to give them the information.

Haha, well, I'm not exactly wrong, either. Mom's one hell of a special lady, that's for su-HGGLK!

What the fu-… where am I being dragged off too?

O-oi, Ebina, it's you!? What's up with you all of a sudden!? Your arm's suddenly too tight! Christ, am I so weak that a schoolgirl's capable of wrestling me into submission? Or am I just underestimating the strength of Sobu's female demographic?

…nope, nope, this amount of pressure isn't normal at all, what the hell's going on, Ebina?

As she dragged me to a secluded area of the store, I eyed the other two girls, hoping they'd help me out with this sudden action.

To my utter horror, they seem to be following her, a fierce determination being emitted in their eyes.

"E-ebi- eb-ebin-!"

"Aww, look! Ebi! That's such a cute nickname you've got for me, Hikitani-kun! But, ah, what exactly did you just say, just before that?! You know me and how I'd like to exaggerate things, maybe I've heard something wrong."

"I-agh, I was just saying, that I was here to buy some make-up for my-ah, my special lady, that's all!"

Seriously, too tight! Too tight! Hell, we're cheek to cheek now, what's going on?

"M-miura! Totsuka, a little help!"

"…Hikio…"

"…Hachi…man…"

"Eh- WHA!"

It all happened so fast. One moment, I was chuckling and imparting some of my own shenanigans amongst those who I considered my friends.

The next, I was getting pinned towards a wall, deep within the shelves of the large fashion store, where no one could see us.

Amongst the shadows caused by the shelves, I could finally take a look at the girls who've brought me under these circumstances.

Let's see….pushing me by the shoulder is Ebina, whose small smile seems to be betrayed by her glasses obscuring her eyes. It's not anything new, since this very expression has been shown throughout her many shipping ventures, but the strong grip is starting to concern me more than ever.

Whereas she's pushing me from my right, to the left is Miura, whose arm has extended past my left cheek and towards the wall. I'd assume this would be the kabedon position, were it not for the fact that I was still a couple inches taller, so this whole thing just comes across as messy. Not that I could really complain to her about it, since the look on her eyes are that of the fire queen at her peak wrath.

Totsuka, edged between the two, happens to have her hand on my chest, pushing with as much force as she could exert. And by 'as much force', I mean basically with about as much weight as a couple feathers. Still, considering that I'm not really in a state where I can wiggle my way out of, I'll just oblige her for the time being. Not that I even know what she's thinking about all of this, since I can't read her eyes. In fact, there's nothing in her eyes _to _read. H-hey, that's quite an empty look you're giving me there, Totsuka!

"D-did I, uhhh, did I do something wrong, aha?"

Crap, looks like I just lit some fire in their eyes. What hornet's nest did I accidentally mess with this time?

"H-heheh, this is….**quite **the unplanned development, Hikigaya. I admit, out of all the possibilities I could have thought up, you having a girlfriend wasn't one I was considering. But by all means, I'm open for sporadic plot twists. Keeps things **interesting, ya know?** So, go ahead."

Her face moved further towards mine, with malicious intent so blatant it'd make children cry.

"**Surprise me."**

Screw that, it'd make grown men cry too!

"O-oi, a little help here, Miura?! E-ebina's gone off the deep end!"

"Ahhhh, Hikio? I thought I told you it was ok just calling me Yumiko? In fact, I would have let you call me Yumi, if you just asked before, ya know? Now?"

Aaaand, there's the fire queen. Fuck, what have I gotten myself into this time!?

"Well, if I knew you had a special someone tucked behind your back, maybe I shouldn't have been so forward. But you know me, haha. Just good ol' Yumiko, always happy to hear out the latest scoop on things. So, **what's this about you having a girlfriend, Hikio!?**"

…ok, I'm starting to feel like I've hit a nerve. H-haha, I guess my practical joke really did hit some kind of nerve. If only I could figure out what...

"…Hachiman…."

…my god, even Yukinoshita at her worst never gave me _those kinds of eyes_, f-fuck!

"You have a girlfriend, Hachiman? Oh, you never told me about that, Hachiman. I thought since you and I were best friends, Hachiman, I thought you'd tell me first. You'll tell me now, right, Hachiman? You'll tell your best friend about this secret right, Hachiman! **Right, HaChImAn!?**"

"Yeah, Hikitani, **tell us.**"

"You'll tell your friends, **won't you, Hikio?**"

"HachimanHachimanHachimanHachimamHachi-"

….ok, yeah, screw this. No amount of laughs is worth the nightmares I'll be dealing with for the next month. 'Hell have no fury like a woman scorned', as the saying goes, right?

…why are they taking it out on me, though?

* * *

"Hahahahaha, I-I'll admit, you really got us there, Hikigaya! Hehe, don't think I've been suckered in that hard in years!"

"Haha, yes, it was quite amusing, seeing those I've considered my friends force me into a secluded place away from the public eye, looking like they'd be about to deliver bloody vengeance on my ass."

"H-hehe, can't blame a girl for being passionate, Hikio! News that juicy, how can I resist? Gosh, knowing all the crazy shit you normally get up to, I really did believe you've been holding out on us this whole time."

"Clearly, I've underestimated the reaction that would come from the news. You guys looked like you were about to lose it. Especially you, Totsuka. You could get away with working at a horror house next culture festival, my god!"

"A-ah, um…well, at least we know you love your mother, since you think she's special, a-aha?"

"…you looked like you were going to kill me, Totsuka. And here I thought we were friends…"

"N-NO, NO, I'M SORRY, I'm sorry, Hachiman! I just…I mean…."

Honestly, I could never really stay mad at her. I'm just sadistically enjoying the sheer mortification she's going through as she's trying to collect herself. Hehe, with any luck, I might be able to extort some kind of favor from her in the future…

Like having her over to play Mario Kart! Oh, or even having her clean my ears, that'd be a hoot! Hah, I've really gotten hooked on ASMR recently….

Then again, I wish I could say the same for the other two. Once I've explained the joke, they've seemed to back off quite quickly. Yeah, they seem a lot more composed now, but they acted so nervous when it finally dawned on them what I meant by 'special lady'. I could tell they were trying to adapt to the situation of it all, but it just seemed too out of character for them to suddenly act so shy.

Huh, maybe they had some lingering frustrations, and they were pissed off that someone they considered their friend would hide from them such important news. Yeah, I guess I could get that.

Guess that explains why they were acting all physical with me. Even after the lie was exposed, they seemed to keep a neutral, yet firm grip around my shoulders. Totsuka was much shorter, so she just settled for my chest. Between hasty apologies and irregular breathing, I guess they must have been relieved that I was as reliable as ever. Must have realized their mistake and wanted to act all apologetic. Bit touchy feely, but hey, that's just girls, I guess.

Of course, I, being the peacekeeper as always, sought a solution to ensure that the atmosphere didn't get awkward really fast. Hence, I asked them to help me out with finding the proper cosmetics for my mother. I guess Totsuka really didn't have much of a role here, due to her inexperience, but I had a gut feeling she didn't want to be left behind. If we're all here after all, it's just common courtesy to extend an invitation, right?

"So anyways, it's a particular brand she's been looking for. *****, have you heard of it?"

Probably butchered the pronunciation, some kind of popular import from France, not like it'll matter to me after today.

"Ah, that? Hah, your mom's got good taste, Hikio. That's basically the most popular thing on the market right about now. Was looking to pick it up myself, actually."

"What, as far as I'm aware, it's just lipstick. What makes this kind of brand special?"

"Pffft, as if you'd be able to understand a woman. Don't you realize what day it's going be in three week's time?"

"…errr, as far as I'm aware, there's not much going on in February."

"It's going to be _Valentine's Day_, Hikio. The brand's putting the product up early at limited stock to ensure sales without competition from other companies. It's quite popular with women too. Since that's the day girls are expected to hand out the chocolates, that brand's specially catered to those 'special ladies' who want to ensure both her and their man's going to have an extra 'fun time', you understand?"

"…r-really?" Totsuka spoke up, with surprising interested. Huh, I guess if someone had to be a romantic…

"Haha, Totsuka here's probably too innocent to get what she meant by 'fun time'. They'd definitely be enjoying themselves, if you know what I mean, ihihi."

"I-I get what it means! I'm not _that _sheltered, geez."

"Well, guess mom's getting it for dad's sake, then. How bout you, Miura? If the lipsticks for that kind of occasion, I mean. What, you have a new flame or something?"

What I expected was a harsh rebuking, or best0case scenario, a tsundere rebuttal saying it's none of my business, or something along the lines.

What I _didn't _expect was for her to maintain strong eye contact on me, like she's plotting something devious with that smirk of hers.

"_Wouldn't __**you **__like to know."_

"…uhhh, ok then."

Ebina started looking at her, maintaining the smile, yeah, but I could tell she was pondering something. Spent enough time chatting with her to know when she was multitasking mentally. Mainly, it's just her conniving new ships.

Totsuka's also looking at her, but it seems more like…jealousy? It's definitely not the usual friendly look she tends to give people, she's cordial even to the more unsavory bastards at Sobu. Huh, guess there's a lot of bad blood there I might have missed. The tennis incident, maybe? No, that was months ago, she's not that petty, is she?

"Ah, here it is, Hikio."

Handing over the specific brand of lipstick to me, my eyes took a brief gander at the labeling and how it was being packaged, a quick overview at exactly what my mother wanted me to buy.

All I can say is, Miura definitely did a stellar job of overhyping me for a product. For a 'limited time' product, this seems no different than your other run-of-the-mill product. Sigh, how many women are probably getting fooled by this shit.

"Ugh, great, another normie-centric form of merchandise. What, is the specific shade of red supposed to be 'unique' or something?"

My usual snark came out, probably not in the best of time, either. Miura was pretty helpful in finding it for me, even I know when I'm being overly rude. Crap, she's probably rightfully ticked off right about now.

"…you surely underestimate the power of lipstick. A perfect shade of red here, a darker shade there, for more intimate moments. Put some on well enough, you'd have any guy wrapped around your finger."

Well, she seems more competitive than pissed off at least. Maybe there's room to show my opinion.

"Pfft, yeah right. If that were the case, I'd be sucked in to some temptress by now. Sounds like a scam to me."

Miura suddenly stopped in her tracks. Hmmm, you know what? Maybe mocking the fashion advice of a girl who's pretty into the whole scene might not be the best of things to do. Hell, in a store like this no less, she'd be able to rally a mob in barely an time at all. Crap, are they gonna push me into the corner again?!

"What, you really going to argue with a girl on how amazing makeup is? You're annoyingly smart, but you're out of your depth here, Hikio."

"Lipstick's lipstick. I get the need and the use, but you could probably take any cheap brand and give off the same effect."

"Ohooo, bold of you to say that out loud in a fashion store, Hikigaya. That's practically sacrilege around these parts."

"…would _any _lipstick really work?"

"Don't listen to him, Totsuka. As if this guy gets it."

"You think I haven't seen a girl wearing lipstick before? It's a minor improvement at _best_. Guys care about breasts, or the butt, or sometimes even the thighs. A bit of lipstick isn't going to change jack shit in the grand scheme of things!"

…yeah, come to think of it, I'm starting to sound like a pervert right now, aren't I? Ah crap, are people looking this way? Damnit, I can't even fault them for looking disgusted this time, I might have gotten carried away here.

"…is that _so?_ Care to put your money where your mouth is?"

"…uhhh, Miura, what are you suggesting?"

"Well, there's a trial right over there. You're saying that if _I _tried, I'd have no effect on you?"

"W-what does that have to do with anything?"

"Oi, oi! No getting out of this one! You said you could take it, now I'm just seeing if you're bullshitting or not!"

…yeah, might have overstepped a line.

…no, you know what, screw it! For all I know, I'm simply making a stand against some consumerism agenda. I'll face this head on, no problem!

"Haah, you think _you'd _be able to pull it off? I'll admit, you're quite attractive, Miura…"

A blush crept up on her cheeks, and the other two girls immediately shifted their gazes to me. Not really focused on what those gazes meant, I'm still trying to act assertive towards the blonde in front of me.

"…but lipstick on a woman is as common as wheels on a car. Seen enough my whole life that it barely makes me bat an eye, like hell it's going to be any different this time round either."

"O-oh, _you sure about that!?_ Let's say once I pull it off, you still going to act all cocky?"

"Fine, I'll make a wager. If, and I mean _if, _ you can make me _flinch or feel embarrassed_, I'll do anything you please."

At once, everything stopped. Miura, Ebina, Totsuka. All gazes were still lingering towards me, focused like hawk to a prey.

"…**anything? You mean it, Hikio?!**"

…yeah, I guess when someone says 'anything', they really do open themselves up to a lot of possibilities, huh? Most of them, probably for the worse come to think of it.

Yeah, I shouldn't be surprised the other two are focused either. Those words don't come cheap, after all.

"…Hikigaya, you're serious?"

"H-hachiman?"

O-oi, what's with the overdramatic reaction?

"A-as long as it's something within the realm of reason. I'm not prepared to screw over my life, or something like that. Just something along the lines of common sense. I'll help you out with homework, I'll do chores, shout you a meal, maybe even a few…"

Better draw my line in the sand before they start thinking of something weird.

"…as long as it won't mess with my life, I guess I'll even be your _slave._ Just for a little while, though._"_

At once, Miura started breathing heavily. The implications probably aren't lost on her.

After all, a man of **my **talents would open up a lot of ways to help her out, after all. She's probably overwhelmed with all the possibilities. Tch, hope she doesn't go overboard with the orders.

The other two girls continued to look at me at well. They seemed…frustrated, huh? Hmmm, Totsuka was like that before, but even Ebina's getting peeved? I guess this whole conversation seemed targeted towards Miura, so they probably feel left out, huh?

"E-er, that extends to the both of you, haha. If you can pull it off, same deal applies."

…wait, **why did I say that?! **I just tripled the chances of putting myself in a troublesome situation! Ahhhh, damnit, Hachiman, why did you have to run your mouth!?

"Ghlllk!"

I heard the familiar sound of a girl having a nosebleed. It was Ebina, as usual, though normally this occurs in the presence of some kind of homoerotic scenario. Here, feels a bit unwarranted, but then again, I guess she could make me re-enact some of her favorite BL scenes or some crazy crap like that. Tch, I'll at least have to put an embargo on any 'public' showings…

Her nosebleed's different, though. Normally, through the lens of her glasses, her eyes would be rendered unfocused, with a clear grin adorned with some incoherent mumblings. Now, however, her eyes are as focused as she's ever been, looking at me with an expression that seemed like the precursor to some kind of gasp. Yeah, her nose was still bleeding, but for once, she seemed to care enough to actually block it with some pocket tissues off of her own pocket this time around.

Totsuka's resumed the same expression of biting her lip, though with about as much ragged breaths as everyone else. Out of everyone here, I've worked with her the most. If anything, she should have the most restrained reaction! Don't tell me she's intending on helping her out with tennis even more!? I know I've promised to help her out, but even I've got limits!

Yumiko's still breathing heavily, only now, she's taking routine glances at the other two girls. What the hell, it's like they've traded positions, what the hell's going on!? She still mainly stares at, or at least tries, to maintain eye contact with me though. Can't really reciprocate, since one way or another, I've rendered three girls silent for the second time today. Déjà vu, that was the phrase, wasn't it?

"Y-you mean it, Hikigaya?!"

"You can't back yourself out of this, Hikio! Right!?"

"H-hachiman…"

…well, as a man, I can't back out of this now, can I? If I do, I'll probably just give off the image of a bullshitter when things get dirty. Ah crap, I've clearly gone in too deep, but for the sake of pulling through with my promises…

"Y-yeah, it's a deal. A-and I guess, if I endure it, I'll have you guys do something for me. But, errr, you don't have to worry abou-"

"DEAL!"

"I'M IN!"

"M-ME TOO!"

"…well, ok then."

* * *

A couple of minutes later, the rules were set. To ensure that no one else rightfully wonders what the fuck was going on, I'll be placing myself in one of the changing stalls. Or, to be more precise, they scurried me quickly into one. I guess they wanted to get preparation out of the way as quick as possible.

_They seemed all so focused…crap, what landmine have I just stepped on?_

The girls will take turns routinely coming in, applying the test lipstick in any amount or detail they so choose. It could be as little, or as much as possible, any quantity goes.

The objective was also simple: make me flustered. Aversion of eye contact for a long period counts as a loss. Blushing, stuttering, any telltale signs of submission counts as a loss as well.

Physical contact is allowed, though only in moderation, as making me flinch through excess touching is forbidden. That means no shoving, no sporadic movements, and most importantly, no kissing. Yeah, it'd relate to lips or whatever, but there's no way in hell I'd be able to withstand that.

_Though, when I did say that, all of them seemed to droop down a bit. No wonder, that was probably their plan before I culled it. Ha, like I wouldn't see that coming!_

The rules seem simple enough, but it's still taking everything in me to prepare myself. The coldness of the stall seems emphasized, considering that, on three separate occasions, I'll have to go face to face with three dolled-up girls that belong to the 'golden generation'.

Even with the faintest of preparation, each of these girls were pretty enough as it is, so I'm well aware I can't falter my guard even once. At the very least, the reaction _has _to be provoked from the colored lips, so any other forms of methods to make me blush are off the table. You'd think that be advantageous, but unfortunately, I've got no experience with this kind of assault. Not personally, or through any of the, ahem…'adult', literature I've found myself browsing on occasion.

Tch, keep calm, Hachiman, you're the monster of logic. The guy who hangs outside the realms of normalcy. You've got multiple skills dedicated to blending yourself in the background, can't be too much trouble to keep yourself stoic, right?

"Hikio, I'm coming in now."

Miura's probably the hardest one to deal with, given her experience in dressing up. Heh, it's fine. No big deal. If I can handle her, the others should go swimmingly. All that's left is to-

**Oh. Wow. **

Remember when I was talking about the advertisements? Well, here's a thing about the models in them: there's not really much of a connection. Yeah, their faces are on the billboards and the magazines, but one would find it difficult to identify them by name or personality. They're not celebrity status, is what I'm saying, there's just no 'gravitas' since while beautiful, they're ultimately unfamiliar.

Why am I mentioning this now, you may ask?

Well, to see lips, a sharp cherry red, laced upon the face of a beauty such as Miura, someone I've grown to be friends with?

_Overwhelming_, to put it bluntly.

"Hehe, don't tell me you're already losing it. I haven't even begun my magic yeeet."

"Pffft, a-as if! We've settled on a minute per person, s-so, go ahead! D-do what you must!"

I can barely maintain my voice. F-fuck, it's just lipstick! It's not lingerie, or pantyhose, or anything any warm-blooded male would appreciate. I've read more explicit things. I've _seen_ more explicit things.

T-this shouldn't mean anything!

"You know, Yui was also meaning to try out makeup, you know? Lucky thing didn't really need it, after all. Such a natural beauty, that girl. Lips were so pale and rosy, without the help of any gloss or balm."

Shit, where was she going with this? Crap, I allowed wordplay in, so long as it related to lips, but…damnit, why Yui?

"She asked me for advice, which made sense. Ebina didn't really excel at this kind of stuff, and Sagami, well…she's got taste here and there, but it was all to fit the mainstream look. Yui's…a mix of sexy and cute, you know? Gotta think of the right arrangement for that combination, you know?"

"M-mhmmmm."

She scooted ever so closer, smiling _delectably_, wetting her lips and making the color pop out even _more._

"She asked me one time, 'why exactly did the boys keep staring'? Since I'm her friend, I decided to help her out. Using the one girl whose looks I know better than anyone else."

One step, then another. Crap, getting flashbacks from Saki.

_"Me."_

Face to face, now. I've never been more appreciative of the curtain that divided us two from the outside, this is mortifying!

Not that I'm showing it on my face, or anything! Nothing a couple dozen pinches to my thigh can't handle, hahaha!

"So, using myself as a model, I just showed her exactly what all the boys, all the _nosy _boys that can't mind their own business, do when looking at all the pretty girls."

"They look at their hair…"

A hand brushed her own hair, a finger playing a bit with a strand of my own, to the side of my face.

"…and their skin…"

Hands brushed her own cheek, her finger still lingering on my hair, as if to tease me.

"…their breasts…"

A small giggle escaped her lips. No movement was necessary. She caught my eye taking a quick glance, and the smug smile became even smugger.

"…the eyes, too. Oh, they love to talk about the eyes, since it's sooo romantic, and all that. Not that they're wrong, of course. Works like a charm for a lot of girls, hehe."

"3-30 seconds left. B-better hurry, Miura."

"Oh, but I'm nearly done, Hikio, don't worry. But before any of that, the eyes, the skin, even the breasts, they focus on the most obvious part: the face."

She stopped caressing her own cheek, and brought her fingers towards…oh, no.

"And the part that most guys pay attention to? Not the eyes, or the nose, or the cheeks, no matter how much we tart it up. But…"

Her pointer finger smoothed over her top lip.

"These. And why do they do it?"

A couple fingers from her other hand had stopped playing around with my hair, and had reached my own lips, the lightest pressure begging me to part, as I'm trying my damndest not to make a sound.

"Because they wonder most of all, what do they feel like. What those soft, warm lips feel like on their skin, on their cheeks…"

Her tongue moved swiftly, licking her lips in giddy anticipation of my breaking point.

"and on their own lips. It'd feel nice, won't it…Hiki. O?"

"G-ghhh!"

My composure was completely gone. Shit, she got me!

"Hehehe…looks like I win, Hikio."

"Y-yeah, you did."

Looking at the mirror to the side, meant to assist with one's changing now capturing my enraptured gaze, I've known I've lost.

"And the deal?"

"I-I'm a man of my word. As long as I'm not at risk of anything, I'll accept."

"Hmmm, is that so? Well, then…."

Her eyes lingered towards me. Everything, once again, felt like it went silent. Like a cat toying with a stray mouse, she was deciding what to do with me. She's probably enjoying this, making me feel uncomfortable. Yukinoshita and I normally had her number in the past. Now that the shoe's on the other foot, she's probably relishing the moment.

At least do so when your face isn't so close to mine. It's almost as if you're planning on-

"…nah, If I did that, you'd just be blushing all the way though Hina and Totsuka's turns, wouldn't you? Hehe, I can't have that now, can I?"

She turned around and faced the exit, guess she's trading her position off to the next one in line.

"Try not to lose to the other girls, ok? I know you've extended the deal to them, but I really, **really,** do like the idea of me being the only one to have fun with you."

Her gaze in the mirror went past playful and into the realms of some sadistic, gesugao expression. This time round, I'm more used to it from my interactions from Haruno. Still, it's jarring seeing it on her.

Tch, looks like I messed things up this time. Fine, Miura was the hardest, you already expected that. As long as she's the only one I fell victim to, fine. I'd rather not have to deal with indulging Ebina's fujoshi problems, or, as I hate to say it, overwork myself with Totsuka's practice. Next time I'll be ready, easy as pie!

"You going to continue staring at the wall, Hikitani-kun, or can we start things off?"

"Oh, Ebina? Ah, right, sorry, I'll jus-oh."

Sigh, why are you even surprised? You know Ebina's a beauty, if a more restrained one. Tobe's willing to stick by her, despite the popular riajuu bastard attracting quite a few of the female population.

_This, however,_ might be even more overwhelming than Miura. Because at least with her, makeup is the usual kind of affair.

But _this!?_ Hair fully down, glasses off? Fuck, even the bit of hair obscuring her eyes adds to the allure! This warrants a nerf, I mean, come on!

I guess she's going all out, considering the bet. No joke, I don't doubt for a second what Miura mean when she said how popular Ebina was with the guys. Can't even imagine the thirst from them if she keeps this look all the time…

"Oh, before you start counting down, mind if I ask you to turn towards the mirror?"

"W-what? But the mirror is facing the wall. There's not exactly much wiggle room for you."

"Haha, no, no, Hikigaya. I just want you looking at the mirror."

"Wait, but wouldn't you rather me looking at you directly?"

The usual cheeky grin came, the one that arrives before she indulges in her fetishes. But without the glasses obscuring her eyes, I got to see, for the first time, her expression in all its undiluted horror.

And my god, it _is bewitching._

"Oh, _trust me_, Hikigaya. **I know what I'm doing.**"

"…well, let it be, then."

I turned towards the mirror, seeing Ebina smiling behind me. The reflection was shoddy, no doubt, due to the scratches and irregular angle it was positioned after years of service, and yet it's done nothing to detract from her appeal.

"Well? Ready when you are, Hikigaya."

"T-the countdown starts now. So, go ahe-wha!?"

Instantly, she clamors her hands onto my shoulders, firm grips on both swides, as she inched her face closer, both to the mirror, and to my own head. What was she-

"So long as it involved the lips in some way, anything goes, right? _This ok, Hikigaya_?"

…oh, god, she's whispering in my ear. Shit, this isn't fair!

"Y-you've got a minute. It's fine, whatever!"

"Oho, that's nice. Looks like I don't have to resort to plan B. Though, that might be unlucky for you, that plan would have been a _lot _more…dynamic."

…_d-dynamic?_

N-no, she's trying to get you, man! Get a hold of yourself!

"F-fifty seconds left."

"Ara, no need to rush, Hikigaya-kun. Where's the fun in that?" she giggled mischievously.

"I-it's your time! Don't blame if you end up losing!"

She was behaving just like Miura, damnit! Fuck me for thinking Ebina would be easier, what was I thinking? As a fellow geek, she's bound to have some workarounds.

My teeth are biting the gums inside my mouth, to make sure not even a sound escaped my throat. Now that it's come to this, desperate measures are applicable. T-the topic is still lips! If she can't stay on topic, t-then I'll just write it off as invalid!

"…tell me something, Hikigaya. Do you think I'm pretty?"

"…y-yeah. You're…quite something…"

The ends of her mouth curved up, clearly appreciative of the comment. Drat, I think I gave her the ammunition she needed. Now that she knows her looks are working, she'll probably go all in.

Crap, maybe I should have fibbed a little.

"Oho? That's nice. Normally I'd much prefer you interested in boys, buutt…

Her lips were inching ever closer towards my ear, to the point where there was practically no distance. All that separated us was a sparse couple millimeters of air and her bated breath hitting my skin.

Nah, no way in hell I could have lied under these circumstances! This is too overwhelming!

"…well…**certain events**, means I'll need you to see me in a different light."

…certain events?

Ah, wait, the bet. Of course.

"You know, you're the first boy I've ever shown this face, you know?"

"I-is that right? Not even anyone in your clique?"

"Haha, no, no, not even then. After seeing all the girls fawn after Hayato, I figured that it'd probably be just as bad if I were…blatant, with how I looked."

Her voice had reduced itself to mere whispers. Warm, like a lot of girls voices are, but with just enough of a cattiness that one would recognize to be Ebina.

"Only the girls ever got to see me this way. Yui. Yumiko. Minami, and my mother, during special occasions. As far as I'm aware, you're the first one who've seen me with makeup, let alone without my glasses."

"I, uhhh…guess I consider it an honor?"

I already know the answer to that. Something this personal, she's aiming straight for my heart. But…I still haven't fully recovered after Miura, and now that her friend is here, giving shivers up my spine…

Can you blame a man for not fully being in the right state of mind?

"Ehehehe," she giggled, almost reminding me of Yui. "You really do say the funniest things, you know? Dark, brooding, but with a sense of humor. You'd be quite a catch, _you know_?"

"T-that's no-"

"When you do, find someone I mean, things might be just like this. Just you and me…I'm sorry, haha, you and _her, _in a secluded place far away from prying eyes, all by yourselves."

"T-this has nothing to do with lips. Wherever you're going, I'll have to disqu-"

"Ahhhh, but it is, isn't it? Tell me, you ever see me wear lipstick?"

"N-no…"

"Want to know why? Because, believe it or not, even though I adore, and I mean _adore_, seeing boys with each other, indulging in all the physical revelries of youth, there are time where I'm like any other girl, you know?"

"A-and that would mean?"

"Finding the right guy. The right, kind, strong guy. One that I'd clean myself up nicely for…"

Her lips shifted from my ear, and moved her cheek close to my own. Staring directly in the mirror, I could tell she was building up to something.

"This lipstick, it's supposed to fit with the season of love, you know? Yeah, I agree with you a bit, about how it's just a gimmick to sell, but the truth still stands…"

The reflection smiled back at me. Oh, how I wish I could turn away, as the red filled my cheeks.

"_You'd only go this far for the one you love, right?_"

I started gulping.

"All for the one that you _love_, Hikigaya. She'd take you, somewhere that no one else can find you, just like me…"

Breathing irregular again…

"Stay close to you, just like me…"

Her lips returned to my ear, as if she's had enough teasing with those smiles of hers, and wanted to finish things off.

"And with these cherry lips, something that no one else will do…

"_**Kiss him. Over and over and over again. Just maybe..."**_

_**"Just. Like. Me?"**_

A strong, warm breath on my ear, was all it took to finish it off.

"G-ghaaaha!"

"Ahahaha, I got you, I got you! Haha, you're reaction, pfffft, if only I had a camera, hihi!"

Upon seeing the desired reaction, her hands came off my shoulders, and went into hugging her stomach, giggling at my face that once again, fell prey to another predator.

"T-that's not fair! I said no kissing!"

"Oho, but I didn't exactly kiss you now, did I? I just implied that was what I did, and you fell hook, line and sinker!"

"T-tch, well, for all I know, if I waited a second more, that's exactly what you might have done."

"Awww, don't be a sore loser! Your fault for failing one second too early, then!"

"….ugh, fine, fine. You win. I'll honor the bet."

Her laughing slowly ceased, probably because it was starting to hurt her stomach. Yes, yes, hardy har, laugh all you want, you damn fujoshi. God knows what plans she's got for me.

"Hehe, looking forward to it, Hikigaya-kun! Welp, Totsuka's right after me, so I guess I'll leave you right to it. Aww, I wish Tobe or even Hayato was here. With enough peer pressure, maybe they could join in on the bet. You and either of them, close together….ehihiih!"

Yup, there's the usual Ebina. Damnit, that whole schtick really was one hell of an act! Must have gone through so much romantic drivel to pull that off. Both parties probably lacked a Y-chromosome either, bet she's got plenty of dialogue like that memorized to heart.

"…although, now that you're _mine,_ I think I've got the _perfect _way for you to return the favor. Don't worry, Hikigaya. No boys involved. Just you and me, I _promise_."

"…well, good then. Thank you, for being so considerate."

"Don't mention it. Well, I'll be off now. Oh, before that, one more thing…"

As she was about to leave the stall, she turned to me again, just like Miura. Guess birds of a feather do flock together, huh?

"Whether or not I was about to kiss you, well…I had _**other**_ plans in mind, that's for sure."

"…what, you planned on pressing a photo of Tobe or something like that on my lips? Barely a stretch of the imagination, knowing you."

"…you really are quite dense, huh? Well, that's for the best. Means that you probably won't get the signs from others, then. Just need to find the opportunity for one precise strike…"

She ran a finger down my lips.

"_And you'll be captured."_

With those words, she scurried off.

Precise strike? Captured?

…she really needs to stop playing games with Zaimokuza. I'm not even going to try figuring out what she meant by all that.

And really, she's underestimating me. What do you mean, 'I can't pick up on the signs'? What have I been doing this past year, exactly?

Geez, whatever. Last one's Totsuka, right?

Well, let me just revise exactly what's transpired. Lost both times to the other two, that sucks. But fine, I'll at least come out of this with a victory!

Miura went for the seductive approach, while Ebina went for the romantic one. That basically covers all avenues of attacks that Totsuka could go for. Not that it matters too much, since I'm pretty sure she'd have a hard time going for either, but it doesn't matter.

What _does _matter, is that now, I've got the proper defenses to handle anything she throws at me. I guess I feel bad, since Totsuka's probably the one who'd give out the most reasonable tasks, but my pride is on the line. I can't end this day in complete, utter defeat!

So come forth, Totsuka! Prepare to meet your match!

"H-hachiman?"

….you know, I really need to stop putting my foot into my mouth.

_Lipstick is lipstick, I said, and here we are._

_Miura would be the hardest, I could handle it, and here we are._

_Ebina's probably not as hard as Miura and here we are. _

_Totsuka shouldn't be any trouble, I thought._

_And here. We. __**Are.**_

Heh, you'd think two losses would have humbled me by this point, but clearly, the ego's one hell of a drug.

So yeah, what exactly can Saika Totsuka do to topple the iron will of Hikigaya Hachiman.

With the exact same thing she does to him every single time they meet.

Killing him.

With _cuteness._

"H-hachiman…you ready?"

As she asks that question in that shy manner, I had come to one conclusion.

My limit has been reached.

After Miura and Ebina, what once was the fortress of my mind had already been decimated, to a state of utter disrepair.

Heheh, and here I thought I'd be able to repair it.

Once more, red adorned the lips of a beauty. Only this time, the impact was so great, and with no defenses, there was only one way this could have gone.

(THUMP)

…..

…..

"H-hachiman?"

…..

…

…..

…..

"…I-I concede. You win."

* * *

"Wait, so everybody won?"

"Yeah, that seems to be the case. Turns out, you gals were far more than I could handle, that's for sure."

"Awwww, man. I was hoping that I would be the only one who would win. Imagine if I ended up winning while Yumiko didn't. Haha, wouldn't that be ironic?

"As if I'd lose at fashion, Hina. Still, you pulling off your glasses was a sneaky move, damnit. Can't believe I actually forgot about that."

We had just left the store, with a batch of the _highly-effective _lipstick in tow, as well as some cheap sunglasses on the side.

Leaving behind my dignity, feelings of shame, and the dread of requiring to own up to my promises and oblige _anything_ these girls so desire, as long as it was within reason.

"Still, Hikio, can't believe you gave Totsuka the victory before her turn even started. You're being biased, I swear…"

"Hehe, I won fair and square, Miura-san!" the petite girl giggled profusely.

Sigh, barely ten minutes ago, they've put me in a compromising position, and now here they are, conversing as if nothing's happened. Girls are scary, man. Seriously.

"S-so, what exactly are you planning on doing with the bet, Yumi?"

"…n-none of your business, Ebina."

"….eh? You normally share everything with me, though?"

"W-well, what are _you _planning on doing with him?"

"…_I can't tell_."

"Then why are you asking me about it? If it's something embarrassing, I don't want to be asked about it!"

"…is it embarrassing, Miura-san?"

"…tch, that's for me to know."

…did a sudden chill just arrive right about now? Miura and Ebina are normally quite open with one another. Pretty out of character for them to be that dismissive about showing their ideas. Like, I get not saying theirs in public, but those responses seemed a bit…cold?

Totsuka too. She's being pretty close to my personal space right now, can even smell her shampoo with how little distance is between us. Hmmm, is she uncomfortable in the situation? Maybe, she's not too close with Miura, and she's naturally a shy girl.

That being said, with all the glares being pointed towards the other two…I dunno, it seems a bit…territorial? Hey, I'll be busy, but I'll have enough time to take care of all requests. I've done enough tasks for the service club to at least manage my time thoughtfully.

_Hey, look at that guy. _

_Hmmm, aren't those girls around him…_

_They're cute, right? Wait, aren't they…actually really hot?_

_The hell are they doing with them?_

Huh? Those voices…

After we exited the store, I haven't really paid much attention to my surroundings. After the…ahem, _seduction_, I haven't been really focused enough to set up another destination. So, I've just been aimlessly walking and talking with the other girls.

Were they following me, or was I following them? Either way, all my public affairs have been settled, so come to think of it, why were they following me? Heh, either way, they must be really pent up with stress if they insist on hanging on to me for conversation.

Sheesh, can't imagine this a year ago, that's for sure…

Still, it probably would have been a lot beneficial for me if I at least maintained _some _bearings of where I was. Looking to the side of me, it appears that we've passed a bunch of people. Judging by the venue they've been standing in front of, seems like a mixer of some kind.

Riajuus, huh? Seems like high schoolers, but couldn't recognize them for the life of me. They seem to pay a lot of attention to me, just fine, though.

Then again, with how apprehensive their attitude is…sigh, I guess it is what it is. If I'm with girls like these, I'm sure boy or girl alike would be baffled without context.

_Hell, they'd be baffled even __**with**__ it. As if they'd give me the benefit of the doubt these days._

"O-oi. Aren't you Saika Totsuka?"

"Eh? Is it her?"

"Oh shit, it is! Then…those other girls must be from Sobu too!"

"Wait, they look familiar as well…"

…ok, so they _do _recognize us. Well, the others specifically, but still. Crap, forgot about Totsuka being a minor celebrity around Chiba.

"Ummmm, can I help you?"

Surprisingly, out of everyone in my party, it was Totsuka herself that spoke up first. Oddly assertive, but hey. Can't complain if she's shaping up into someone more confident.

"Y-you're the 'Angel of the Court', aren't you?" one of the girls commented.

"…yes, I am?"

"W-wow, you're sooo much cuter in person than I thought you would be!"

"…a-ah, thanks."

"Oh, and you two…aren't you the girls who normally hang out with Hayama Hayato?"

"No kidding, I think I've seen them in the same pictures as him on social media! Wow, they're so much more attractive in person!"

Miura and Ebina too? Figures, the 'Prince of Sobu' is an annoyingly popular topic with a lot of nearby schools. Shouldn't be a stretch for some of the clique to be known by association.

_Wait, does that mean Yui has a following online? Ugh, that pisses me off the wrong way…_

"Yeah, we are. What's it to you?"

Miura spoke up, showing signs of passive aggressiveness, but not to the same extent as that befitting of the 'Fire Queen'. Either she's more lax these days, or…

Yeah, there are quite a number of teens here. Numbering at least double digits too. With only this much backup on standby, she's probably not as confident with pulling the whole 'pissed off glare' gimmick.

"Heheh, I heard you were quite enamored with Hayato, but rumors says you've stopped recently. If you're looking for more company, why don't you hang out with us?"

"Yeah, and you can come too! Ebina-san, was it? Come on, it'll be a blast."

"We're not interested, sorry."

Ebina was quick to refuse. Miura and I could easily sense her discomfort, but clearly, these imbeciles are overstepping some boundaries here.

"Come on, it'll be a hoot! After all, you're from Sobu, we're from Kaihin Sougou, the schools have always been close, right? How's for a little collaboration?"

…ahhh, they're from Orimoto's school? Tch, at this rate, I might have to file a complaint against Tamanawa. Hopefully, he can get to the point this time round instead of dancing around the problem.

I could feel Totsuka subtly clinging to my sleeve, out of view from the others who were chatting her up. Was she feeling nervous?

…no, it almost seems like she's aggravated. Maybe she just doesn't want to deal with other people right about now?

_She's always been happy hanging out with you and Zaimokuza. Never liked it when others tried to push her away from us, either._

Yeah, that's probably it. She's never been fond of being in the spotlight. This time is probably no different from the others.

…well, I did promise Yukinoshita I'd stop with the whole 'self-sacrificing' ideology I used to stand by. Still, with these idiots, I doubt things will never change.

Hopefully this time around, she'll accept me biting the bullet, right?

"We're currently occupied today. If it's ok, we'll just be on our way."

Could have worded it a bit politer, but it pays to be clear and concise.

_These days, a lot of people don't get the memo when these girls want some space. _

At once, all eyes heeded diverged from the girls and all towards me. You'd think that, with these many people, I'd feel uncomfortable.

Nowadays, however, all the rabble tends to talk behind my back at all times. If anything, I'm glad this time around, I can at least deal with this head on.

"Oi, we were just having a chat, what's your problem, man?"

"Well, we were quite preoccupied with a lovely conversation before you fellows intervened. It's your problem for interjecting all of a sudden, isn't it?"

"Hey, is it a sin to want to talk to new people?"

"I mean, haven't seen any of you talk to little old me. How's being a bit more inclusive sound? Or…perhaps you have another motive entirely."

"W-what does that mean?"

The boys seemed to wince at my words. Good. Make their intentions blatant, and they'll settle down. The girls, on the other hand…

"Well, if you're going to be so rude, maybe it's good that we're not talking to you! We were only trying to get to know the others!"

"Yeah, you can't tell us what to do! What, just because these girls decided to tag along with you out of pity one day, don't get your ego twisted!"

If their backs are against the wall, they tend to ditch the rosy veneer altogether. It'd be unattractive to the others, if said others weren't already locked on to me.

It's pretty clear what their intentions are, though. Miura and Ebina are close to Hayama, and Totsuka's a moderate media sensation around these parts. In the end, it's just a cavalcade of others wanting something under the veneer of friendship.

_Nothing genuine about it at all._

Damn, it's still quite the conundrum I have to solve. If I said they were my friends, I might get them into more trouble, due to the rumor mill. These guys are bound to have phone cameras, or at the very least, recollections of what I look like. My eyes are pretty distinguishable.

"Wait, aren't you…yeah, you're the loner of Sobu, aren't you?"

…or, they recognize me already.

"Yeah, those eyes, that shitty sarcasm, it fits the description, there's no mistaking it! What's a guy like you doing in a mall? There ain't a single pet shop here, if you're looking for animals to kill.

…ok, _what exactly _is my image with these people? It can't have been that bad, could it? Ugh, if the girls have had rumors spread about them already, no doubt I must have gone 'mainstream' too.

"Knowing this guy, he's probably blackmailed the poor girls. That's what they did to you, didn't they, Yumiko-san? Hina-chan?"

Oi, oi, shifting immediately to a first name basis with the two? How obvious could you be?

At the corner of my eyes, it appears that the two girls are starting to share Totsuka's aggravation. Miura's got her teeth gritted, and Ebina's got her hand clenched, the clear view of her eye from the side, showing how rightfully pissed she was at this entire turn of events.

_Not that these guys could pick it up. Heh, white-knighting really does make people go blind, huh?_

"If that's the case, let's make a phone call to the school, and suspend his ass! That'll teach him to pull this kind of stunt off!" at this point, all the boys seemed to be united in putting me six feet under.

"Don't worry, Totsuka-chan, it'll be alright. _We'll take care of you,_" Some of the girls muttered.

Through the loose bit of fabric around Totsuka's tiny hands, I could feel her shivers of disgust. Ugh, I'm about to throw up too from this kind of degeneracy.

I wasn't scared at all. The school will go to the girls first to confirm the bogus story, and they'd just have to deny them to get me off the hook. I'm not worried about my future.

_Now, though, I've got to find some way to get these girls out of here, but how woul-_

"_You seriously missed out on the best songs, Kaori! Must have eaten something bad this morning, huh?"_

"_Yep, yep, something bad! Hahah, silly old me. Won't happen again!"_

…those voices…ah, crap, here we go again…

"…_you're awfully chipper for a girl who's just had a stomach ache."_

"_Hahah, well, let's just say I've had a __**fun **__time regardless, so it balances things out!"_

"_Y-yeah, fun time! It's been fun, with all of you guys!"_

"…_.er, ahahah, that kind of goes without saying, doesn't it Chika? Still though, you must have been out of it. Saying you'd want to date a guy you rejected in middle school? Over Hayato? Haha, you must have been delusional, Kaori!"_

"…_yeah, sure, a joke. Whatever."_

"_E-ehhh? You ok?"_

"_Yeah, yeah. Now come on, better go meet up with the others, we've kept them waiting long eno-_Huh?"

Brown eyes met fish eyes. Ugh, that's the last thing that's needed right about now. If Orimoto decides to associate with me, that'd just cause even more trouble.

Damnit, gonna have to mouth something to her to get the message across.

_Pretend, not to know me. Pretend, not to know me. Pre-uwghahhah?!_

"Hikigaya! What are you doing here!? You here to see me!? Hahahaha!"

Tight, too tight, Orimoto! Her embrace was as sudden as it was forceful, it was almost like a vice! The hell, she hasn't been _this _physical always, has she?

But still, judging by the voices, her friend was with her too, right? The one who I went on a double date on, Nakamura, or something like that. Crap, she's probably the one spreading all the rumors. If I have to deal with her too, then…

…ok, _now what's going on_? She's just…staring at me. Looking up and down. Not disgusted or anything. Or confused that Orimoto's hugging the everloving crap out of me. If anything, she seems…enthralled?

And…eh, is she licking her lips? What on earth is….

_Oh. I get it._

…_she's probably in love with Orimoto, and imagining what it would be like for her to be in my position._

…_hey. I don't judge. You do you, woman. _

Tch, you're still past no man's land, Hachiman, let's just focus and reassess the situation. Well, as well as you can, anyways, with the limited amount of neck room this position is giving you. Let's see, to the group that was just hounding us, they seem…ok, they seem even _more pissed off than before._ The guys, I could get. Orimoto was always one of the top billing girls of their high school. The girls, though?

Well, with how much they were shitting on me, seeing the most popular girl of Kaihin doing something like this to the loner of Sobu (hell, she's practically _nuzzling _herself on my chest._ Quite a lot, actually._ It hasn't been that long since we've last met, has it?) has probably caused one major case of cognitive dissonance.

Hmm, that's to be expected. The hug's probably sent the girls into some kind of confused state, though. What are they like?

…hmmm? They still seem angry. Like…_extremely pissed off._ As in, Yukinoshita's level of unrepentant distaste.

Ebina seems to be holding it in the best, though once again, the look in her eyes betrays her current emotions. Miura is positively _fuming, _and Totsuka…

Ok, the less I ever see of those empty, dull eyes, the better. Fuck, that's creepy…

But yeah, if I had to deal with these bastards constantly hounding them, I'd be pissed off, too.

But why are they staring at Orimoto rather than the rest? Are they suspicious or something? Hmmm, probably should talk to them about it later, rather not jump to any false conclusions. Speaking of jumping…

"O-orimoto! Hug! T-too tight!"

She turned her head away from my chest, and started staring right into my eyes. If I had to describe it, that look in her face seemed to be something of extreme elation. Like, something you'd see if you cooked Komachi's favorite dish, or something. The smile's too bright, almost blinding, dare I say.

"Hehe, well, if you're here, wanna hang out?"

…wait, what?

"K-kaori, what are you saying!? You want us to hang out, now!? With HIM!?"

"Yeah, it sounded like you guys were thinking the same thing! Seems like you were planning on asking them to hang anyways, right?"

"Ah, b-but…b-b-but…"

"So hey, everybody wins, right?"

"I-I agree with Kaori-chan! Let's all hang out!"

"C-chika!? You too!?"

…huh. She must be madly in love if she's willing to tolerate me for Orimoto's sake. I'd dare say that's quite touching, almost.

"…oh, and I guess you three can come too. Of course, if you want to leave, then that's fine! No one's stopping you!"

W-wait, I haven't even agreed to hanging out with Orimoto. Like, I'm not against the idea, but this is all too sudden! And the girls, they're already hanging out with me! It'd be rude to just ditch them, ri-?"

"Sure, let's go."

"I don't mind. As long as it's not anywhere strange."

"…where Hachiman's going, I'm going."

…oh, shit, they accept?

Ah, they must not want to leave me alone in this snake pit of a group! Ah, bless me, for having such caring, considerate friends!

W-wait, but I haven't accepted anything yet. I still have time to deny things and leave it all behi-

"So. You're coming, riiiiightt!? Hikigaya?"

….fuck me, I can't refuse that smile. Shit, it's just like the middle school days, too. What's this fluttering in my heart?

…no, wait, that fluttering's in my stomach. Judging by the stares from everybody present, I feel like I'm about to be in ground zero of a catastrophic incident. Before I could stop myself, though...

"Y-yeah. Let's go."

And with that, she once again hugged me. I could hear a restrained shriek coming from somewhere. Was it from Kaihin? Was it from Totsuka? Hell if I know, at this rate.

The only thing I could ask myself was…

"_What have I gotten myself into __**THIS **__time?"_

* * *

Yeah, for a filler story, this is actually quite long, isn't it? If I'm being honest, it would have actually been longer. This was actually going to be about as long as two stories, finishing it off outright. See, I was actually mid way through finishing the following chronological part, with them meeting up with Orimoto and Kaihin, but halfway through, I realized the story would have just been TOO long. A reader's got to have some breathing space. So, I'll split my original planned story in half and leave the rest for later.

Honestly, I just wanted to write through Hachiman's point of view, again. It's not that thinking up dialogue for the other girls is too difficult, per say, more that I simply just wanted to have a bit of fun. Remember, despite how popular this story's gotten, the original intent was for me to practice writing, the subject matter been risque not is just a way to avoid burnout.

**Meguri's **definitely the next chapter, guaranteed though. I guess, if you're waiting for a continuation for the present time, I guess expect it after Haruno's chapter? Yeah, maybe putting a present day chapter with some of the finished girls every two chapters or so would be nice towards the people who were looking forward to snippets of Hachiman dealing with this whole ordeal.

Probably two girls each present day chapter, though. With Orimoto added in the end, it's technically 4 girls divided by two chapters, so that seems ok. Totsuka's going to have more to do next continuation to compensate for her lack of presence, and maybe I'll have the other two in the backburner for a bit.

Till then, hope you appreciate the change of pace this chapter provides. Next chapter, we'll head back to our usual schtick, so hope you guys look forward to it. Till then, hope this helps out with opening 2020!


	10. With Friends Like These (Meguri)

Now, I know I haven't been here for a while. I mean, crap, it's been four months. Honestly, I don't really have much to say here. I guess if I had to...

...at least I'm not YandereDev? Yeah, let's go with that.

* * *

Meguri: With Friends Like These...

"You wanted to see me, Hiratsuka-sensei? I happened to be close to your office, so it just seemed convenient to…s-sensei, are you smoking on school grounds?"

"Hmmm? Ahh, there you are Meguri. Punctual as ever, I see. You're way earlier than expected."

"T-that's not the point, sensei! Smoking is prohibited on school grounds, you could get in trouble if anyone else sees you!"

"Oh, relax. It's lunchtime, no one's going to spend it in a crusty, cramped office like this. Window's open, if you're worried about the smell."

"T-that's certainly a carefree way of approaching things…"

While I've never had the courtesy of having Hiratsuka-sensei as one of my teachers, I have heard tales of how she was in the classroom.

Primarily, that her beauty was matched or surpassed only by her eccentricity. With how much the student body, boy or girl alike, made mention of her looks behind closed doors, that's not a statement to be made lightly. A 'black sheep', among the prim and proper expected of an elite school such as Sobu, one might say.

"But honestly, I'm truly surprised you did answer my request this quickly. Wouldn't have been surprised if I had to wait a day or two for a reply, with how busy this particular season is for you third years

"Aha, there wasn't anything immediate that required my attention, so it wasn't much of an issue to see what your enquiry was."

"Nothing to preoccupy yourself with? At this time of year, with all the exams? Haah, the things I would have done to attain that peace of mind, back in the day..."

"If you're concerned over my performance as a student, Hiratsuka-sensei, everything's well within control when it comes to my studies. Of course, if you truly think my time is better suited for something else, then I wouldn't be offended if you decide to ask someone else for your enquiry."

"Eh, nonono, this is something that requires your particular set of skills. Well, practically everything about you, really. I dare say, you're quite irreplaceable to what we have in mind."

"…the faculty's asking for me? It's not like them to ask for my assistance like this. Surely, an email would have sufficed, I've never been abrasive towards lending a hand in the past.

"Well, the usual motions would make sense if this particular task was…well, _usual_. I assure you, it's not exactly _unethical_, what we're planning. But with how outside the box it is, it's probably better you hear directly, to get the point across.

_Well, if she were to describe it like that, then of course I'd be curious about it!_

"Can you at least tell me what the task involves?"

"…ah, well, no point dilly-dallying any further, right? My bad, Shiomeguri, probably should have started off with the fine points. Well, to put it bluntly…"

The last embers of her cigarette had faded, as she began to crush the butt of it on the edge of a garbage bin, like a makeshift ashtray. With a bated breath, she continued.

"Well, to put it bluntly…it's about Hikigaya."

…indeed. That _is _quite concerning.

"Oh dear. H-he hasn't gotten himself into any trouble again, has he?"

"Nothing that's been reported, that's for sure. That said, what I'm asking of you is to ensure he keeps _out_ of trouble."

Now I'm starting to get worried. Hikigaya-kun hasn't told me about any grievances recently. I-it couldn't have been something so drastic he couldn't tell me, could it?

"…if you're going to put it like that, there's no way I could refuse if that's the case. What exactly is all this about, sensei?"

"Guess I've got your full attention now, huh? Well, you're a good girl, it wouldn't have been hard anyways."

With another sigh, surprisingly clear and smooth for a woman who just had smoke filling her lungs, she continued on, her brow furrowed.

"Don't think it's much of a stretch, assuming that you're already aware of Hikigaya's reputation with the student body, right?"

"Yes, sadly. Word's made its way into the ears of every student in Sobu, there's practically no one who hasn't heard of the rumors. The first and third years even hear about it often, it's aggravating, really."

"Yeah, that makes two of us. But the point still stands. The primary consensus is, he's a complete irredeemable degenerate with a rap sheet long enough to leave history's most brutal dictators with their heads hanging in shame. And he's only nearly done with his second year. The last thing we need is this kind of crap following him all the way to his university offers."

"Well, it's not like we haven't been trying to convince the school otherwise, right? Haruno-san and I've vouched for him before in the past, surely you have as well?"

"Enough to provide them with the benefit of the doubt, but not to the extent that it completely absolves his public image, I'm afraid. Not that our efforts haven't been for naught, mind you. If it wasn't for that, the faculty probably would have bought in to all this crap they're spouting, and Hikigaya would be finding himself in a far deeper hole."

My worst fears might have ended up coming to fruition. I had my suspicions after the culture festival that this might not be something that others would simply move on, but to think it has escalated to this degree…

Clearly, what I've merely heard was in fact, underselling just how bad Hikigaya-kun's reputation has become.

_Had I intervened sooner, would I have made a difference? Could I have made a difference?_

"And that leaves us at an impasse," the worn-out teacher continued. "With how widespread the whole rumor mill has become, it's practically overtaken any sense of good will he might have eked out for himself over the past year. It's gotten to the point where official school clubs have officially blacklisted him from entering, as well as some even boycotting official excursions if Hikigaya were also to participate. To make our lives harder, these includes some of our most prominent athletes, as well as children of some of Sobu's most affluent donors."

She took a sip of her beverage, something she's appeared to have been drinking from before I had arrived.

…huh, is that MAXX Coffee? Adults don't normally drink that due to the sugar content…

"Sooner or later, the school faculty would have to address this. It's well beyond the point where things could simply be swept under the rug anymore."

"…I mean, the school isn't simply going to put all the blame on Hikigaya for this, right? There's no evidence of anything he's been accused of committing!"

"You would think so. And you're not the first person to have brought that up, either. The service club, amongst many others, have tried talking to me about rectifying the problem. These days, even Hayama has been trying to quell the rumors from within his own clique, thinking that the influence of his reputation would salvage the situation. But at this point, it's gone far beyond even him. It's even starting to gain traction through social media as well. That's why the school's about to take drastic measures now, otherwise Sobu's reputation might get tarnished."

"My god….its gotten _that serious_, now? I-I had no idea people were starting to talk about it online…"

"Here, see for yourself."

She threw a phone at me. With how she aimed it, she clearly didn't care if I caught it, rather what I saw on the screen.

"…'Ryoushi'?"

"Yeah. Original fucking name, right? He's got fish eyes, so let's just call ourselves 'fisherman' in Japanese. But yeah, that's not the point. About a thousand members strong, and gaining traction by the day among all the 'sheep'."

"T-that's more then the entire population of Sobu! Oh, goodness!"

"Talk about a pain in the ass, huh? As I see it, this would end in two potential ways: Hikigaya gets the short end of the stick for these supposed transgressions, which could lead to suspension, or even expulsion…"

I felt like my heart had skipped a few beats upon hearing those words. After everything he had accomplished for the school, for the students within it, _this _was how he would be repaid!?

"…or, assuming life finally throws the poor bastard a bone for once, the school would dismiss all rumors as the bullshit it really is, and everything ends happily ever after. Well, I'd like to say that, but it ends up causing even further complications."

"Further complications?"

"See, if Hikigaya is wrongfully expelled, he has every right to bring the school to court over his unjust treatment. Since there's plenty of high-profile students in Sobu who's willing to vouch for him, there's a likely chance the proceedings would go on for quite a while. That's a lot of money and headaches in that particular scenario, what with all the slander and libel charges that could plausibly occur. They sure as hell aren't willing to resort to scapegoating if that's a potential outcome."

"…and if the school believes he's innocent?"

"Then nothing changes, really. No matter what statement they make, there's no way the students, the cliques, the clubs, and everyone in between, would leave it at that. It's not exactly in a teenager's nature to give a damn about what adults have to think, after all. In fact, the school would probably be put into even more pressure by the escalating outrage."

"…so, is there really nothing we can do?"

"Not quite. As it stands, Sobu as an institution is bound to suffer from this particular case either way. Either from external parties, or from the inside, the only difference is, whether the mob succeeds or fails. And honestly…"

The sound of a loud crunch suddenly reverbed in the small room, enough to make me nearly leap from my seat. Upon recovering from the initial shock, I had found the cause for the noise:

Hiratsuka-sensei's can crushed in her hands, her eyes that were previously dimmed in a state of subdued annoyance and frustration.

"…if it ends up with those little shits manage to get away with all their gaslighting, that would **really. Piss me off.**"

Before I could properly respond to her rage, she immediately calmed down, as quickly as it had come. It was never any stretch of the imagination to assume that what a teacher was in a classroom setting wasn't exactly the same as they were usually.

_But honestly, how scary! Are all teachers this repressed?_

"So yeah, since life isn't fair and I can't conjure up an end-all, miracle solution up my sleeve, we're going to have to settle anything that ensures Hikigaya stays in Sobu. At least then, we can stall for time until we can think of some other way out of this. Which brings me to requiring your assistance on the matter."

…there's no way.

There's no way I could say no now. Not after all of this.

"W-well, with how much you've told me, it's not like I can refuse now, can I!? Just tell me what I need to do, sensei!"

Throwing the crushed can of Max Coffee into the trash can, she resumed her initial, relaxed manner from the start of our conversation, and began once more.

"Well, the actual plan is actually quite simple: I'll need you to gather statements off the people that are on Hikigaya's side."

"Statements?"

"Yeah, you know what I mentioned earlier, about how if things have to go to court, there would probably be some witnesses in Hikigaya's corner? Right now, they're probably unsatisfied with the way things are as well. Just have them right out statements highlighting Hikigaya's character, and we should at least have a strong point of contention against all the rumours that have spread."

"…that's all I'm required to do? I admit, sensei, that seems quite simple, with how complicated everything is."

"Trust me, I thought the same thing too. In fact, it was the idea of the faculty itself, really."

"I-it was?"

"A teacher's life is busy as it is. You really think they really want to deal with this crap right about now. Especially during exam season?"

"A-ah, fair point, aha."

"But yeah, in terms of actually gathering the responses, I figured you'd be the best choice. You're practically spotless in regards to controversy, and being the former council president, there's no doubt they'd trust you. The faculty doesn't seem to have much faith with anything I could conjure up, for some reason."

"…I mean, between smoking on school grounds, and hitting a student, those worries wouldn't be unwarranted, righ- ah!"

At once, I closed my mouth. What was I thinking, I shouldn't be saying that out loud! Mohhh, normally you're so tactful, Meguri, what's come over you!?

What came next wasn't an aggressive response, or simply ignorance at my words. Instead, I received a cheeky, warm smile.

"Heh, honesty. That's what I like to hear. That's why it's gotta be you, Shiomeguri."

"….I'll do my best, sensei."

...why isn't she married yet?

* * *

_The Observations of Hikigaya Hachiman (Shiomeguri Meguri)_

_As stated in the title, the main contention of this report is to determine whether the rumors that have been spreading around the student in question, Hikigaya Hachiman of Class 2F, have credibility, as well as dismissing any and all false information. As Sobu High School is an institution which prides itself on the quality of its student body, it is naturally of the utmost importance that any dissident as a result of mere hearsay should be quelled immediately, so as to ensure the environment of the school remains healthy._

_Due to the informal nature of this particular task, there will noticeably be a lack of explicit evidence, as due to the very nature of gossip, it would be hard to directly confirm the truth. That being said, Hikigaya-san in particular, has managed to associate himself with a plethora of individuals that are quite prevalent, in regards to inter-curricular involvement. Of note, is that Hikigaya-san has been noted, in spite of the rumors, to have provided constant assistance with these particular individuals. _

_As such, the primary information compiled in this report are the testimonies of these students. Since they have proven themselves to be quite trustworthy, due to their positions of leadership they have over the student body, I hope I will be right in assuming the faculty will also, deem their commentary in the matter as factual._

* * *

_Student 1: Isshiki Iroha _

_The current council president of Sobu High. Reportedly Hikigaya-san had played a crucial role in ensuring that she develops the proper skills and mindset towards becoming an ideal leader in Sobu's near future. Her commentary is as follows:_

* * *

"Ah, Meguri-senpai! I wasn't expecting you today! ….ummm, I-I'm not in any trouble, am I?"

"You don't need to worry, Iroha-chan. I simply wanted to talk to you. If you mind, might I just take you out for a little bit? It's something to be shared between the past and present council president."

"Well, if you're going to put it like that, then of course! Hey, everyone! Sorry, but I'll be heading out for a bit! Won't be long, try not to miss me too much, k?"

A barrage of comments followed, mostly from boys, but there were some girls contributing as well. Few were mere acknowledgements of her actions. The majority were trying to speak above one another, trying to vy for the girl's attention by declaring their reliability.

I can't help but be reminded of Haruno-san, with all these people wrapped around her finger. I'm sure if Haruno-san had opted to move beyond merely managing the Culture Festival Committee, she would have done so easily.

"Soooooo," she chirped in a sing-song tone, as we entered one of the empty, adjacent classrooms. "you suure I'm not in trouble? You weren't just being polite in front of everybody, were ya? I can handle a little bit of criticism, you know?"

"Haha, no no, I assure you, it's not about that really. Actually, I wanted to ask you about Hikigaya-san."

Almost immediately, her sly expression shifted from one to surprise.

"A-huh? Senpai? Is something going on with him?"

"Well, yes, just needed to enquire with you a bit about a certain subject matter."

She's being uncharacteristically nervous all of a sudden. Then again, given that she's succeeding me, there probably is some degree of pressure. Well, it's best to make this as concise as possible.

"Well, to put it simply, I require you to tell me your feelings about Hikigaya-san."

"….w-WHAT!?"

The sudden yelp from the younger girl startled me. Oh dear, whatever is the reason for this outburst?

"M-my feelings about s-senpai? H-hAhaHA, w-what are you talking about, Shiomeguri-senpai? I, w-ha, w-w-here did this come from, hahaha!?"

"…is there anything wrong with what I'm asking, Iroha-chan?"

"N-no, there's….ohwait, did senpai ask you about this? Sorry, but I can't exactly respond properly to the feelings of a guy who wants to confess through his senpai. That's so totally uncool, maybe if he did it directly, I might reconsider, but then again, senpai is senpai, and while he's slowly improving and shaping up to actually be pretty cool, I just can't possibly…"

…oh dear, was something lost in translation?

"…but maybe if he waits a bit longer, then perhaps I…"

"Iroha-chan, I believe that I might have miscommunicated. Pardon me if you've assumed incorrectly what I was about to say."

A pause lingered within the classroom. With nothing else but an awkward stare, equal parts attempting to divert herself away from my gaze and a sense of shame misinterpreting the whole situation, until finally…

"O-oh. Is that so…" she muttered, twiddling her fingers behind her back, the most bashful I think she's ever been.

"But anyways, back on topic…"

…

"Really? The school's going to listen if we just send in some written comments?"

"Apparently so. The plan overall seems quite effective, if unorthodox, so I think it's worth trusting Hiratsuka-sensei on this matter."

"D-don't get me wrong, Meguri-senpai. It's a wonderful plan, but…it's not the first time someone's tried this. Hayato-senpai tried to talk to the teachers about this as well, and not much has changed. If he couldn't do it…"

"Having it on paper's probably a much better plan. Not to mention, we're getting a lot of high-profile students to sign this. With any luck, the pull of influence might work in our favor."

"Well, if that's what you think, Meguri-senpai, then of course I'm going to help!" the girl finally smiled, relieved over the ambient pressure of the room fading.

"Haha, I knew I could count on the next president. Besides, with how much he's been helping you, I'm sure that he's got plenty of accreditations to his name already!"

At that, the brown-haired girl stopped in her tracks.

"….ummm, Isshiki-san? Something the matter?"

"….I mean, not that he hasn't helped me, in fact, it's enough that I have it on record, buuuutttt…."

"…but?"

"A lot of things he helped me with are, well…kinda off the record," she replied, once again, twiddling her fingers.

"Oh, I'm sure that's fine. Compiled with everything else, I'm sure they'll take your word for it."

"…well, some of the things I've had him help me out with can be seen as a little, uh…risqué."

"…I beg your pardon?"

…that's not exactly a word I'd associate with assisting with presidential duties.

"…I-I'm just saying, I'll do it, I just might have to be a bit…vague. With the details and all that."

"…may I ask exactly what type of assistance that might cause you to redact certain information?"

"Mmmmm….let's just say he's been helping me out with preparing me for my role as pres in the next year, and uh…we've had to take quite a few _unorthodox_ approaches.

"Hmmm? Not to worry about that. Just put down what you feel would be ok. It's not like sensei is asking for an entire essay on the matter."

"Well, then, I'll do my best!" she chirped.

"Alright then, I'll just give you the format of what's expected from your statement, and I'll just try to catch up with the others then."

"Ah, just wait a minute, Meguri-senpai. There's uh…one more question I'd like to ask you."

"Yes, what is it?"

"Well…you don't normally involve yourself when it comes to the drama with Senpai. What changed?"

"Hikigaya-kun's such a sweetheart, why wouldn't I want to help him?"

"S-sweetheart? Aha, don't tell me you call any boy that you're close to like that. You could be giving the right idea, you knooooww?"

"Haha, I don't call other boys like that. I just happened to say that because of what I know from him."

"What you know from him?"  
"Ah, that. Well, I happen to actually be quite well acquainted with him, it just so happens that I'm finally provided a direct opportunity to fix this whole rumor mill."

"…_well acquainted?" _

"Yes, we converse I think two to three times a week, at about half an hour, maybe forty-five minutes at a time. Occasionally, he asks me to help him revise for his studies."

Haha, really, such a hard-working boy. Keeps saying how much of a 'drag' it is, but he pulls through anyway, just for my sake.

It really is so cute, haha.

"…that's the first time I've heard of it. When exactly was this?"

"Hmmm? Would have been just after the conclusion of the culture festival, why do you ask?"

"T-that long ago!? Wait, but that would mean…"

Her expression changed once more, and I could almost feel a sense of bemusement over baring witness the entire spectrum of emotions adorning her face over a single day. That being said, this time around, it seemed more…determined.

"You're…you're not a rival, are you, Meguri-senpai?"

…a rival? What could she mean by that?

Ah, wait. I did say I helped him out with work from time to time. That would indicate…

that she's insecure about her position as the new council president, perhaps? Taking attention off one of her most staunch assistants might indicate his preference for me over her. I mean, I suppose I was like that back when I first started as well, huh?

"Haha, not to worry, Iroha-chan. I'm graduating soon regardless, you won't have to worry about little old me soon enough."

"A-aha, i-is that so? Well, then, I'll errr, take your word for it, Meguri-senpai!"

And with that, she's back to smiling. This might prove troublesome if everyone else is just as sporadic as she is…

* * *

_Student 2: Hayama Hayato_

_Current captain of the soccer team, and among the more prolific of the student body in terms of achievement and social standing. Due to his experiences with assisting and corresponding with nearly every demographic imaginable within the walls of Sobu High, I believe that his opinions on the matter should provide a grounded, unbiased opinion concerning his classmate…_

* * *

"…so, it's come to that now, hasn't it?"

"Sorry for dragging you out of soccer practice, Hayama-kun. Sadly, I needed to pick a time where there would be the least amount of people, and I figured I could buy some of your time while everyone else is doing drills."

"Hahaha, I understand your logic just fine. Though, there are quite a lot of observers during our routine sessions. For all intents and purposes, a group of passionate, strong young men ought to receive quite a bit of attention, haha."

As he wiped the sweat of his brow, I could see that, while speaking in a casual manner, his laughter didn't reach his eyes. Well, I suppose whenever Hikigaya-kun's name is mentioned by someone, the air has a tendency to get thicker, be it friend or foe.

"I figured the school would be forced to show their hand eventually, with how things have been. I can't say I expected them to seek action this soon, though. As bad as the rumors have gotten, there hasn't been an incident connected to him since Sagami-san, which was months prior."

"It is what it is, I'm afraid. I had heard that you've been attempting to quell the rumors yourself. I assume there hasn't been much luck on your end?"

His body shifted slowly, and with a long sigh, I received an answer before he ever said a word.

"This whole situation really is bizarre," he muttered. "Every little thing the clique and I ever did, whatever places we frequented, to the products we used, it would influence the entire school. Hundreds of students from different backgrounds and standings, and somehow it's our little group that becomes the trendsetters."

He took a sip from his water bottle, his voice growing coarse. Whether it was from recovering stamina or his frustration over the situation, it could have been anyone's guess.

"Not this time, though. No matter how much I push for things to calm down, this whole business with Hikigaya has taken a life of its own. It's borderline comical, the sheer efforts people have taken in despising someone they don't even know. You wouldn't see this kind of behavior, even in the most overblown dramas on television."

"If I may ask, do you have any idea why this might be the case? With how much in the center of things you are, I figured at least a few might have talked to you about it."

"Tch, if only things weren't so ironic," he chuckled. "I've spent all my time here trying to avoid all manners of gossiping. Made my stance real clear on the matter. But all of that tends to falls on deaf ears. Every day, there's something brought to my attention that I have to confront, from alleged affairs to petty spite. At times, I felt like I was forced to read a tabloid against my will."

_The burden of standing at the top, I suppose_.

"But the one time. _The one time,_ that I actually try to stake my input in these kinds of matters, all of a sudden, everyone decides to act unreceptive. You would think the guy who 'defended' Sagami against the loner of Sobu High would carry some gravitas. But they've barely communicated with me on _why_ exactly they have such disdain for Hikigaya, and they don't even try to listen to me. It's a twisted joke, honestly…"

It's already spread online, I doubt even swaying a few to his side would even quell this fire at this point. No, we have to start with the smallest things for now. As long as we get the teachers on our side…

"You won't have to worry about convincing your friends and classmates for now, Hayama-kun. All I need is for you to give a statement to the teachers. For now, that will be enough."

"Haha, I suppose I had spent quite a bit rambling, huh? My apologies for wasting your time."

"No, no! Not at all! It's your practice time I'm interfering with now. If anything, you've given me more insight with the issue then I had previously! I should be thanking you, instead."

"Heh, well, I'm glad to be of service. Though I suppose, with the way you're handling things, I admit, I'm kind of bashful, what with me being the only male student you're getting a statement out of. Though, with that said, sadly, Hikigaya doesn't really have that many guys on his side." He chuckled as he reached for another sip of his water bottle.

"Oh, that's not true at all. In fact, I was originally going to ask Zaimokuza-san."  
"Mm-mplk!

"H-hayato, are you ok?"

The poor boy suddenly appeared shocked all of a sudden, before hammering his own chest in order to force the excess water through properly. This was perhaps the only time I had ever seen Hayama lose his composure.

Then again, not exactly possible to keep composure with a compromised gag reflex.

"N-no, i-it's ok! Just choked on my water a bit, that's all!"

"Oh, thank goodness! For a minute, I thought I might have accidentally caused our soccer captain to suffocate!"

"N-not to worry, haha! I'm far more durable then one might expect, trust me! So, uhhh…pardon me, but exactly _what _did you mean exactly about asking Zaimokuza-san?"

…I might be reaching, but…was there a bit of venom, in his words? No, that can't be. Maybe he needed context on my decision? It would seem a bit out of left field, from a third party's perspective, after all..

"Well, it would make sense to receive the input of Hikigaya's longest standing companion. On top of that, he had provided assistance to Hikigaya-kun and his friend multiple times in the past, so he has some credibility. Besides, I seem to recall a while back you recruited him personally for a Judo tournament, right? (Vol. 7.5, LN exclusive event) If you picked him over your other companions, that would imply you've seen something in him as well, right?"

"…a-ah, yeah! Exactly! There was…something I had to verify…"

"Trust me, with how loyal he is to Hikigaya-kun, your intuition was probably spot on! Now, I was planning on asking him for his statement, but whenever I tried to approach him, he simply replied that Totsuka-san would…punish him."

"…Totsuka…punish?"

"Well, that was paraphrased. The actual words were a lot more explicit, and the poor boy seemed frightened enough that I didn't want to push it any further. For an analogy, let's just say it involves a mashed up banana with needles sticking out from the pile."

The exact terminology was so horrific that it wouldn't be out of place from a Lovecraftian horror. All roses have their thorns, as some would say, but _clearly_ some more than others.

"Erm, if I may ask, exactly why was _he _first choice over me? N-not that I'm jealous or anything, consider it curiosity."

"Oh, mainly because since he's more involved than you were, I figured he'd offer better context."

"…"

"…errrr, Hayama?"

"…more…**involved **than I am!?"

"…eeer, are you ok?"

"…n-no, that's fine. Once practice is over, I'll offer my piece. Will email be fine? I still have your contacts from back during the culture festival."

"Oh, of course! It's great that you can help us out!"

"It's ah, my pleasure. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll just head out back to practice then."

"Why, of course."

As he left back towards the field, I could hear the cheers from the standing. With how beloved he is by the community, part of me is glad that such a person wasn't against us. The last thing this entire hate movement needs is someone charismatic enough to spearhead any personal attacks. Hopefully more people are more open to reason once we gain a bit more momentum.

"That pass was shoddy, Haru! We've been spending months fixing that, and it's still not up to par! And Sho, you call that flailing about practicing drills? What, just because we lost last game, you've decided you're too good now!?"

…though for the life of me, I can discern the reason for his aggravation. Perhaps all the pressure is starting to get to him?

* * *

_Student 3: Minami Sagami_

_The current general sports manager of Sobu, her familiarity across the majority of extracurricular activites in Sobu, alongside participation in sactioned sporting events, would mean that she had also personally worked with Hikigaya, and thus, would have a valid opinions based on her experiences with him. Most crucially is her involvement during the alleged incident during the conclusion of the Culture Festival…_

* * *

"…sigh, we're playing this kind of game again, are we?"

"Sagami-san?"

"Ah, nothing, senpai Was just thinking to myself for a little bit."

The reddish-brown haired girl started scratching her head, clearly there's some kind of agitation there. Poor girl must have been pretty busy lately. With how uncombed and messy her hair was, no doubt she's been preoccupied with something.

"Erm, If there's any troubles you have with anything I've said, I don't mind slowing down. Or you know, if you're simply too busy…"

"No, no, it's nothing like that, really. It's, well…serves me right thinking I can go a few hours without _that guy _being brought up again."

Even now, she's still quite antagonistic towards him, huh? It's a shame, after the Athletics Festival, I had wished that it was all water under the bridge by now. I only wish it's a matter of time before she's able to fully reconcile with the past.

"I mean, I still think I don't really have the skills to help you out with this kind of thing. You really think I'd be able to make a difference here?"

"Of course! You'd be a great help!"

"Tch, there's no way I'm your first choice for this kind of crap. What, was the Ice Queen busy or something?"

"I happen to be heading off to the service club right after this. And yes, I believe you'd be quite the help. We'll need as many voices as we can on this matter."

"You really think you need me, if you've got that killjoy on your team? And everyone else too. Not like I'll make much of an impact."

"I needed statements from as many students as possible. One's that have enough of a say in the matter, and I think you're more than capable of that. And all that was in the past. You're so much different from the girl you were all those months ago."

She shuffled around, her cheeks starting to turn a little red. Hehe, with how popular she is, I didn't think a compliment from little old me would fluster her. Hehe, how cute!

"…so that's how it is, huh? You'd think I'd be the _last _person to be qualified, since it'sme and _him _we're talking about."

"It's precisely because it's you and him that makes you so vital in this, Sagami-san. In fact, what you said earlier about yourself was wrong. You're probably the most important person in this."

"E-ehhh? I don't exactly follow, senpai. Don't tell me you're whispering sweet nothings in my ear to convince me to help out. I'm not exactly as weak as _that _guy when it comes to being dragged off to do whatever."

She says that, but there's no denying the glimmer in her eyes when I said that. It's a more familiar sight recently, whenever I see her helping clubs out.

Mainly, the idea of being needed must really be important to her.

"Everything…most of everything that the student body has been talking about Hikigaya-kun is nothing but conjecture. It's why as much as they spout such horrible things about them, it won't ever extend past verbal harassment."

"That's cause he's always hanging out with girls from the 'Golden Generation', or some shit like that. Trust me, they'd go for it if they ever find him alone."

"He's got too good of a standing with the teachers for that to happen. Especially after the incident that happened with Miura-san and those groups of harassers, there's no denying his true character after that."

"Ugh, don't remind me of that. After that crap went down with Yumiko, who did you think had to handle all the paperwork with suspending those assholes, huh? And doing all the prep work for the replacements?"

"My point is, Sagami-san, is that they've got no proper argument at all. Except one."

"…the Culture Festival incident."

"That's the only time anyone could pin any form of harassment caused by him. Regardless of his motivations, no one's going to be convinced he had the best intentions."

"I know, I know. Way too many people won't shut up about that. It's almost as if that's all I'm known for these days.

Both hands reached out towards the scalp of her head. No wonder her hair seems messy, scratching it must be a habit of hers when it comes to any grievances.

"Ok, I think I get it now. You want me to help because **I **was the one he called out from way back then?

"The idea of the perpetrator and the 'harassed' finding reconciliation with each other is a powerful narrative, Sagami-san. Even I can't think of a much better way to protect Hikigaya-kun."

"What, so now the shoe's on the other foot where I have to get ol' Fish Eyes out of a crappy situation? Haha, if I wasn't so tired right now, I'd definitely be milking this."

"Sagami, please. If it's you, I think the chances of succeeding would be so much greater. I'm counting on you."

"…counting on me, huh?"

With a long and bated sigh, she sat back towards her chair, perhaps to take in the gravity of the entire ordeal.

"…there's a lot of people counting on me to do something these days. People always come up to ask me to join them on shit-talking that idiot. The girls want me to try to be nice to him. Heh, like I would. You're even asking me to organize something involving him, it sure as hell isn't the first time that's happened either."

"…wait, has something happened before?"

"Ah, don't worry about that. Anyways, about the statements…"

"Yes?"

"…it really will help him?"

"…some time will be bought. That's all we really can do now."

"…sigh, fine. It's just a few sentences and I'll be on my way, right? Whatever."

"Ara, you'll actually help?"

"Don't get me wrong. That fish eyed fool helped me out before, whether I liked it or not. And the idea of owing _him _a favor makes me want to puke. With this, we'll be more than even."

She crossed her arms, and reassumed the haughty persona she depicts herself in public, as if she were a celebrity.

Haha, but I know better.

"You know, it wouldn't hurt to be a bit more honest with your feeling, you knooow? Deep down, you really want to help, don't you?"

"…hmph."

* * *

_Student 4 & 5: Yukino Yukinoshita and Yui Yuigahama_

_Both members of the Service Club alongside Hikigaya Hachiman, those two have provided bountiful assistance in regards to the student body of Sobu. This is not limited to the Culture Festival, the Athletics Festival and the collaboration with Kaihin Sougou. A crucial factor is their affiliation with Hikigaya as well, since they're the closest of any student in Sobu to him. Though the commentary is a bit bias, note that it would be influenced by the nature he exhibits towards them. Said nature should be taken into consideration when interpreting his true character…_

* * *

"Y-you hear about this, Yukino? H-hikki needs our help!"

"Indeed. Things truly are looking dire towards Hikigaya-kun right about now. Not that his sheer idiocy to perpetually place himself in such situations before isn't his own fault, but the public opinion appears to be far too greatly exaggerated."

The dynamic of the clubroom really doesn't change, does it? On one hand, you have the ever energetic Yuigahama-san, bubbly and often the heart of many a conversation. Contrasting that is the ever calculating Yukinoshita-san. Always planning, always thinking, and always so brutally honest.

"I've been meaning to ask you, since due to the nature of the Service Club, you're prone to listening on to a lot of information. Were you aware of the Hikigaya-kun's status as an online pariah?"

"Indeeed, I have heard about this 'Ryoushi' group. It's quite alarming, the sheer number of people who assumes hatred for an individual as their raison d'être."

"R-raison d'être?"

"Oh, it's a French saying for 'reason for living, Yui. Nevertheless, senpai, from what I had heard, it hasn't gotten to the point where they would be any tangible threat."

"Really? How so?"

"They're too disorganized. No leaders, no goals outside of insults and gossiping. Even Hikigaya-kun is aware of the group, and there hasn't been much affecting him. At the very least, if there was one unintended benefit to his status as a loner, it's his utter lack of use in social media."

"T-that's the first I've heard about something like that! There really is a group just to hate on Hikki? Mouu, that's so cruel!"

"It can't be helped, Yui. Much as I want to assist Hikigaya-kun, truly I do, it appears he has no issue with standing idly in the face of this charade. It's hard to develop anything if the person of interest in all of this is unable to defend themselves."

"He's just busy trying to help out as many people as he can. You know that, Yukino! And just because Hikki isn't trying anything, doesn't mean we can't!"

"You have a point there, Yui. I'm assuming with that paperwork, you've come to us for some kind of proposition, Shiomeguri-senpai?"

"Ah, you're quite sharp as ever. So, you see…"

"…"

"…"

"Hmmm, I see. Yes, I suppose that could work. There's not much difficulty in this, either. Yui, I'm going to have to ask you to perform this task to the best of your abilities.

"W-what are you talking about, Yukino? I'm definitely going to take this seriously!"

"Yes, but your grammar is quite…lacking in certain areas. Permit me to proofread so that your words carry the weight it's intended to have. With all due respect, there's quite a lot of sentimentality lost in translation if you don't do things right."

"Mouuuu, I'm not that bad. Hikki's been helping me out with writing. He says I'm improving quite a lot actually, hehe."

So, he's been trying to help others with their studying. Hehe, I'm aware he's been assisting others with extracurricular activities, but to help a friend out despite his own problems?

_Awww, he really is so sweet!_

"Oh, Hikigaya-kun is tutoring you, Yui-san?"

"Indeed, he and I have been helping her fix up on her writing skills. Horribly inept as he in other subjects, there's at least some credence to his skills in Japanese grammar."

"Ahhh, you don't have to be that mean, Yukinoshita-san. Last I checked, he scored third in Japanese literature?"

"At the detriment of his other studies. If there's one thing I consider worse than mere incompetence, it's wasting his potential. Honestly, perhaps if he focused more on revising his weak points rather than partake in reading his light novels…"

"Well, if it would ease your mind, I've been tutoring him myself. I can assure you, whatever problems you might have with his work ethic, he's trying his best to improve himself as we speak."

"…"

"…"

Funny. I was expecting some kind of light teasing at Hikigaya-kun's expense, or perhaps some appreciation at his efforts.

…why has the atmosphere suddenly gotten chilly all of a sudden?

"…you've been helping Hikki study?" the pink haired girl spoke, less surprised and more with a sense of concern.

"Yes, a few hours each week? What, I assume he would have told you by now."

"He hasn't spoken anything of the sort," Yukinoshita spoke up, acting uncannily cold in the meantime. And why would you assume that he would have divulged this information to us already?"

"Well, I've been tutoring him for months right now. Given how many activities occupying his schedule, figured he would have told you so that you could arrange times where he'd be available to assist the Service Club."

"…i-is that so? It's been months, has it?"

Yukinoshita started to stammer, as if she was suddenly nervous. But before she could construct another sentence, the sound of the door opening was heard behind me.

"Yo. Totsuka's got some scrims with some other players today, so I'm early this…eh? What are you doing here, Meguri-senpai?"

"H-hikki?"

"It couldn't have troubled you to simply knock first? It could have been a private matter you're intruding onto, you rude buffoon."

"Oi, you haven't stopped be from butting in before. What's with you all of a sudden?"

Oh, dear. He's only arrived for barely a minute, and it's already gotten to an argument. I'd like to say it's affable, since they always seem to remain friendly in spite of the confrontations.

Perhaps with all the other vitriol thrown in his way by the others, I can't help but feel worried.

"You haven't exactly convinced me of your etiquette recently. Coming to the Service Club at irregular times, roping us into helping out Iroha-san when we're in the midst of another enquiry. And every passing day, the material you choose to sully this clubroom with gets more and more perverse in content."

"Like you'd even know what's in it. I thought you were the type to not assume a book by its cover."

"I'm afraid that doesn't apply to shameless men like you. How about the other day, where you just came in all sweaty, after your practice with Totsuka-san? What exactly were you thinking, not cleaning up before coming in to a room with the two of us in it."

"C-come on, Yukino. It wasn't that bad, really."

"No kidding. I was actually ready to apologize to you about that, since I did forget to shower on the day here. But you never brought it up. You and Yui just kept staring at me the whole time we were in here. For a second, I was wondering if the two of you actually _enjoyed _seeing me all wet."

The two girls suddenly went quiet. A number of moments passed, with Hikigaya-kun keeping a bated breath towards a response that never seemed to arrive. Then finally…

"Erm, guys? Why are you suddenly so qui-"

"PREPOSTEROUS!"

"Eeeek!"

The sudden outburst made me almost fall onto the floor, as Yukinoshita spoke with a tone several decibels beyond what I expected from the refined girl.

"Y-YOU…YOU REALLY THINK THAT…you _**really **_think I would….to be _**so **_lewd as to…that such a _**vulgar image **_would appeal to us? Is that what you think of us!? IS IT!?"

"H-hikki…you're so dirty…"

"I-it was a joke, come on guys…

It was almost as if their personalities had swapped with each other. Yukinoshita-san was frantically pacing back and forth towards the room, out of sheer bewilderment at Hikigaya-kun's comment. Yuigahama-san, on the other hand, remained silent, staring at the ensuring chaos that had unfolded.

One thing they both shared though: both their faces were red like tomatoes. Increasingly so, in fact. It looked like either of them was about to burst from sheer embarrassment. With how heavily they were breathing, it appears he's managed to land a, ummm…

A 'critical hit'! Yeah, that's it!

…I better change the topic, to save them any further mortification.

"S-so, I'm under the impression that you two will be able to help me out with the task?"

"Hmmm? What task? Did something happen before I arrived, senpai?"

"Well, you see…"

* * *

"So, shit's about to hit the fan that badly, huh?"

"It's a shame, but it appears that is the case. I apologize if you wanted to be discussed about these kinds of matters beforehand, but I was so caught up with lending a hand that the thought had simply crossed my mind."

"Well, it's not like I was expecting much good news these days. Then again, those guys really need to rebrand themselves. You're forming some kind of resistance group, and you're calling themselves Ryoushin? Really? There's got to be way better names."

"Y-you're really not worried about any of this, Hikki?" Yuigahama-san spoke up. That's still a lot of people that hates you for something you didn't even do! It was already bad after the Culture Festival, but now it's…I'm really worried, Hikki…"

Upon looking at Yuigahama-san's distressed state, Hikgaya's look of mild apathy changed to a subtle look of concern. I suppose even if he doesn't care, he's well aware by now that he can't change what others think about the situation. With a sigh, he stepped closer to Yuigahama-san.

"Heh, you really got time to be worried about little ol' me?"

He reached a hand out towards Yuigahama-san's head and started patting her. Instantly, her voice of concern shriveled up into a low squeak.

"You can start worrying about others once you've taken care of yourselves. I've seen your last test results, you know? Don't tell me you're starting to slack off?"

"D-don't say that in front of the others! Moouuu, you're so meaaaann…"

"Hikigaya-kun, please stop harassing Yui, especially when we've got company."

"Man, if you think a couple headpats count as 'harassment', sex must be a cardinal sin to you, Ice Queen."

"Is there no end to your vulgarity? Honestly…"

"Sigh, you're never letting up on any of that…"

It's honestly amazing. He's confronted with all manners of bad news, and the first thing he thinks about is the wellbeing of others. Really, the others must have such a wonderful influence on him if he's grown out of his shell this fast.

To be honest, part of me is kind of envious, to be able to have such peace of mind.

Other parts of me is truly proud that I might have had played a part towards such a transformation. Seeing him sit down, joking around like this…heheheh, I almost feel like a proud older sister!

"Well, it's great that you two are willing to help out. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll just be heading off now."

"Wait. Senpai."

As I was about to stand up and head out, Hikigaya-kun decided to stop me in my tracks.

"Mind if I follow you for a bit? There's something I've been meaning to ask."

"If it's something important, surely you can discuss it here, Hikigaya-kun," Yukinoshita responded.

"Sorry, but it's an enquiry I'd like to bring up with her first."

"E-eh? Hikki, you know we care about you, right? You don't have to keep any secrets…"

"Trust me, it's not like that. I just need to know something, then I'll tell you two eventually, ok? Promise."

"…well, if it's like that, then I suppose I can let this slide for now."

"That's a promise, ok Hikki? No backing out if we ask you about it later."

A moment passed, and both girls were eagerly waiting for his answer. I'm well aware that Hikigaya-kun is one to keep quite a few secrets. Whenever I've observed him study, there's always some kind of enigmatic aura about him whenever I talk about how he's doing at school. At times I worry about everything my kouhai has to go through. But at the end of the day, it really is up to him to confide.

"Sure, just give me time. I'll talk to you later, ok?"

And thankfully, it appears he's starting to open up. At that, both girls drew back, with relieved smiles adorning their faces.

It truly is nice, being put at ease by those you trust.

* * *

"I'm getting MAXX Coffee? You want anything in particular?"

"Ah? Oh, no, you don't have to do that."

"You're going through all the trouble staring that my maths papers for hours at a time. Trust me, you'll need something to ease the pain."

"Haha, they're not _that bad._"

"…"

"…ok, they are quite…something, hehe! If you insist, I'll have green tea then."

The first time I had decided to come over to tutor him, Hikigaya-kun actually acted extremely polite, like a gentleman. I'm not sure if he held me up to some kind of high regard compared to others, but I had always found is early stiffness to be quite adorable.

Then again, between the shyness of then and the warm familiarity of now, it's obvious which one I would take.

"Are you sure it's a matter you're not willing to share with them? You're closer to them than I am, so I was just wondering."

"It's because I'm close to them that they might be biased about it. I kind of need someone else willing to play devil's advocate. You're my best bet, really."

It's honestly quite flattering, how he's willing to put his trust into me. Given that the other girls in his life happens to be the same age as he is, I figured he'd be more willing to reach out to them. I wouldn't have minded at all, I would have totally understood.

But he considers me a friend. And to be honest, that really does warm my heart.

"Well, I'm glad that you're willing to put faith in me. So, exactly what's your problem?"

"Do you know if any of the others are getting dragged into this if it continues?"

"Hmmm? What do you mean?"

"The incident with Miura. By now, most of the school's heard about it, one way or the other. I'm sure you've heard about it too, right?"

"Yeah, I have. Do you have any concerns about that?"

"Nothing bad is going to happen to Miura for a while, since she appears to be the victim in all this mess, all because some upstart jackasses decided to overreach. Thanks to that she's safe."

He handed me my drink, before going to open his can. After taking a long, drawn out sip, he then continued.

"But other people I know might not be that lucky. I'm more than capable of hearing the rumors myself, you know? They're starting to badmouth them. A loner's capable of handling this kind of affair, it's part of the job description for people to assume things about me. I can't say the same about them though."

"What exactly are you afraid of, Hikigaya-kun?"

"The narrative right now is, I'm fooling all of them. Some kind of womanizer, or blackmailer, that's why I've got hold of their attention. Otherwise, why else would the 'Golden Generation' associate themselves with the likes of me?"

"Come now, we all know that's not true."

"I know. But truth be told, for a while I feel like that interpretation was probably for the best."

I stopped trying to open my can, my eyes meeting his in shock? What exactly was he thinking, saying that?

"H-how could you say that? Those are awful things they're saying about you!"

"I know. What they're saying about **me**. Not **them.**"

"E-ehhh?"

"As of now, they're not going to change about what they think about me. At least not till I finally find some way to shut them the fuck up. Till then, I'd rather not have the others in the crossfire. And if they caught wind that the girls were hanging out with me out of their own volition, that would cause way too many problems for them."

"How so?"

"Miura was attacked because the boys thought she was 'easy'. Totsuka gets a lot of shit from the other girls in her club because they're jealous. Something seems to have ignited under the belly of Sobu, 'cause everyone's pissed off these days. The idea of actually wanting to associate with me might just be the tipping point, and they'll start to get harassed as well."

He had a point. Up till now, we were all worried about him because he was the one receiving all the negative attention. I hadn't even considered the consequences it might have for anyone connected to him.

"I need your advice, senpai. I need to know if there's anything I should be doing about this."

"W-what exactly brought this on?"

"From your whole explanation of the situation back in the clubroom. I already had an idea about the whole thing, but with the way you've visualized it and how it could potentially result in legal consequences, I'm starting to get worried if the others might get involved in this mess."

"Hikigaya-kun, they're involved because they care about you. Surely, you know that."

"That's the thing. I'm the one that's prepared to go through this crappy road. I'm used enough to the experience to tough this out and come out more or less intact. I'm afraid because I don't think they can."

Another sigh, another long sip of his drink.

"So, you don't think they could handle it. That's what you're saying?"

"Yeah. That's why I'm asking you about this. Haruno's well…Haruno, and telling Hiratsuka-sensei about these things might compromise her position as a teacher more than it already is."

"A-are you saying that you don't want them to put these statements through?"

"N-no, nothing like that. They're confidential anyways. Should I allow them to get involved in this further, for their sakes? I've always intervened in the business of others, but that's cause a rotten bastard like me is more than capable of handling everything they throw at me. But for some reason, I hate it when it's the other way around. I hated it when Hayama decided to set up that double date. It bugs me whenever Haruno decides to get way too personal without my consent. And if people I know decide to get themselves in trouble for my sake…"

His hands started gripping into themselves, curling into a fist. It's clear it's been troubling him, perhaps for quite a while now.

"…I don't know. I really don't."

To show such vulnerability to another requires a great deal of humility, as well as a strong desire to find an answer. It's overwhelming, being put into a position where I would have to offer him such a kind of guidance.

I couldn't say anything, not for a while. Any words or sentences that tried to form in my head dissipated. None of them seemed to have any weight to give what I want to say.

Come on, come on, Meguri! He needs your help, why can't you say anything!?"

"_Come on, you're being awfully stiff, Meguri-chan! You need to lighten up a little!"_

"_Haruno-senpai, this is pretty serious! If I don't get have a plan, everyone's going to be disorganized. Who knows if the festival will go through as intended?"_

"_Well, you don't have to handle it like __**that. **__It's not like you're enjoying trying to run things like clockwork, either."_

"_Well, what exactly should I do then? I'm only a first year, I don't want to mess up in front of everybody."_

"_Heh, it's fine just to be earnest once in a while, you know? Everyone and their mothers have dealt with the perfectionist and the routine. Sometimes, a little honesty goes a long way."_

…heh. It's funny, thinking back to that time. I think if I continued the way I did, it really wouldn't have been fun for anyone. Not for my team, and certainly not for me either. In the end, I'm glad I decided to act how I normally did when it mattered. It was much easier being true to myself.

So, all I have to do now with Hikigaya-kun was to make sure that I expressed how I felt. And honestly?

_I'm feeling quite __**annoyed **__right about now._

*flick*

"Agh, w-what the?"

"Oh, s-sorry, I didn't mean to flick your forehead so hard! Does it hurt!"

"N-no, not really? I'm more surprised than anything. What was that for."

"That," I held my finger up. "Was because what you've said agitated me."

"It….agitated you?"

"Of course it did, Hikigaya-kun! First off, we're not that weak, you know?"

"W-what?"

"You honestly think something like this is going to take us down? Fake words aren't doing any damage to you, are they? We're not so fragile that such things are going to hurt us!"

"Shiomeguri-senpai…"

Calm down, Meguri, calm down. He's here for answers, isn't he? Come now you used to be council president. You've calmed down under much more frustrating occurences.

"They're strong. If they're not there yet, they'll get there eventually. I've seen all of them as they approached their day-to-day lives, they're striving to go about things the best they can. You shouldn't underestimate them, Hikigaya-kun. Both their strength, and their desires to help you out, as you've helped them."

"Ah…uhhh…"

My words had seemed to render him utterly silent. For such a boy full of snark, it was almost disorienting, seeing him this muddled. After a while, though, he was finally able to usher out a response.

"It…it's like that, isn't it? They really are capable of that, is that what you're saying?"

"You still have reservations? Come now, surely you can trust my words, after all we've been through."

"I-I still have my own doubts. An unorganized pack of monkeys are still a pack of monkeys. Who knows what crap they'll get to."

"And that's why we're preparing for such a case, Hikigaya-kun. Or is everything we've done so far for your benefit not enough?"

I pulled out my tablet from my bag, and showed him all the work I had prepared so far. In particular, were all the names of the people willing to help with Hiratsuka-sensei's task.

"Come on, Hikigaya-kun. They're doing their best, aren't they?"

"…yeah. I guess they are."

A smile grew to my lips.

"Then you really have nothing to fear. Hehe, what a troublesome kouhai."

"Heh, only because I have a reliable senpai to kick me into shape."

"Oh, don't say that? You're making me out to me some kind of bootcamp instructor."

"Remember how pissed off you were when you saw my science results?"

"…no comment."

With that, we both shared a giggle, before it escalated into full blown laughter. Hahaha, it really has been a hassle of a day, hasn't it?

"…hey. Would it be ok if I put in my own statement?"

"Hmmm? You?"

"Yeah. I mean, I'm the person of interest in this whole debacle, right? If they're prepared to stand by me, maybe it's time I actually defended myself for a change. That fine with you?"

"O-of course! That'd be amazing, Hikigaya-san!"

Every step counts, Hikigaya-san. I'm glad to see you understand that.

"Still though, as happy as I am that you've decided to talk to me about this, I'm still a bit mad. A whole year with the rest of them and you think they can't handle themselves? Come now, really?"

"U-uh, I suppose I might have been overthinking it."

"I always thought you to be the more logical type. Hmph, guess you're still a kid, after all."

"H-hey? That was uncalled for!"

"Because you made your senpai mad, that's why! Hmm, how will you pay me back?"

"I-I guess I'll try my hardest in the next math test?"

"Oh, I dunno…you don't exactly make me confident, with your skills at trigometry."

"G-ghhh."

Honestly, it was really fun teasing him. Haha, I kind of get why Haruno-senpai does it now. Though I'd rather not be _as _sadistic, mind you. Hehe, maybe I'll just leave him be for now.

"Ok, fine! To make it up to me, you have to pat my head!"

"…I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me. Pat my head?"

"W-why exactly would you want me to do that?"

"Because you did that to Yuigahama-san when she was getting worried, and I thought about how cute that looked. So I want you to do the same for me?"

"I-I only really do that for her and my sister. It feels kind of weird doing that for you."

"Awwww, why? Am I not cute enough?"

"No, t-that's not it! You're my senpai, it's just weird doing that to someone older!"

"So I'm not cute?" I started tearing up (fake, of course). Is that it?"

"…tch, goddamnit. Here."

His hand reached for my head, as he gently kneaded his fingers into my hair.

_Wow. It feels amazing._

_The way he gently massaged my temple, how soft his palm felt. I definitely see why Yuigahama-san would need something like this sometimes._

"Hmmmmm, I could ask for this from time to time."

"Oi, don't push it. I'm only doing this because I made you angry."

"Then you better get at least a B in your next tests. Otherwise, I'm going to ask you again.

"…heh. Cheeky brat."

"Ehehe!"

* * *

_Student 6: Hikigaya Hachiman_

_Until now, the student of interest in this whole affair has have yet to share his own perspective of the current narrative. Whether it be he simply wasn't asked to speak his mind, or he refused to divulged his viewpoint, I believe it's crucial that now he's able to present to all parties of importance his stance on the matter. I hope that all would read his testimony thoroughly and without bias, so that this issue may be resolved amicably and without any drama._

* * *

Four days later

It's been a few days that I've compiled and sent everybody's statements to the school faculty. Truth be told, with how serious this case has been going, I was already aware that it would take quite a while for a response to be given. Even so, I've been growing restless at whatever their answers will be.

I'm sure it'll be fine, though. At the very least, I've done what I had to in order to take care of my dear underclassmen. Once I'm gone, I'm sure they'll be able to handle things just fine.

Oh, perhaps I'll visit from time to time! My intended university's not far from Sobu, and from how I've seen Haruno come and go from the school grounds as often as she does, perhaps I too would be able to check up often.

It'd be nice, seeing how Hikigaya would be in his third year. Maybe he'll aim for a leadership position, or maybe as an advisor. He already helps others, I definitely see him doing something like that. Or maybe…

*bzzzt*

Oh, speak of the devil, that's him right now? Maybe he wanted to ask me for extra help? Then again, it is next Tuesday, there's not exactly that much time to prepare, so…

…

…

Oh.

**Oh.**

Oh. Oh, my.

That is, ummm…not at all, what I expected.

…I've heard things like this, happening. Where when students want to show off towards their crushes, they send…_these, _kinds of pictures.

…does that mean he…feels that kind of way towards me?

I-I, ummm, that's…that's…I don't know what to say. What exactly can you say about this?

_Why am I feeling warm?_

*bzzzt*

O-oh, another message?

_Is it another picture?_

…

Oh?

Oho, it's uh…just a mistake. A mistake, on his part, right.

I suppose he's always been…slightly careless, haha!

Like science! Always missing out on the right decimal places! Answers are way off, haha!

Ahaha!

…

…

I'm so nervous, right now.

_Why _am I so nervous right now?

Wait, of course, he sent something like this, that's why!

Of course I'm nervous, I haven't seen anything like this before! I've never seen another boy naked, other than my dad when I was much younger after all.

_And he was never this…large._

And why?

Why am I feeling conflicted.

I mean, it's an accident, so it's not like it concerns me at all.

…but when he first sent me that picture, I thought it's because he liked me.

Because he _wanted _me.

…and I….

…I didn't _feel _like I wanted to refuse…

…perhaps I need to do some further research on a matter.

Something like this…I feel like I just can't leave it as a loose end.

After all, he's my dear kouhai. I don't want anything awkward to happen between us.

And I'm his _dear _senpai, who he cares about.

That's…

That's just how it is. That's all.

* * *

The Curious Case of Hikigaya Hachiman:

_This is a more personal kind of assessment. Unlike the previous enquiry regarding one Hikigaya Hachiman, this is to be based solely around his…relationship, with his senpai, Meguri Shiomeguri. The source is an illicit image sent by accident, which has stirred complicated feelings onto the latter. It's rather difficult to surmise exactly what the extent of these emotions are, but I feel that with time (and perhaps with further physical interactions) that this could be rectified. As for the first step to partake in…_

_…maybe we should start by calling each other by our first names._

_…Hachiman._

_...yes. I'd like that very much._

* * *

I guess if I had to have a reason for why this took so long, it was a major case of writer's block on my end. On one hand, I wanted to set up some exposition so that future events can flow smoothly. On the other hand, I did the same thing for Ebina's chapter, and she basically got the raw end of the deal over there. Yumiko's chapter was when I was starting to hit my stride with writing, but at least Orimoto's still holds up (I dare say the comedy's the best paced out of all the chapters). So yeah, I took a lot of time making sure Meguri get's a good balance, especially since a lot of the chapter is based on seeing other characters. That said, I think I've done a decent job. So yeah, I'd like to say **Haruno's** chapter will be a lot more straightforward, but I'd rather not get your hopes up. At the very least, I benefit a lot from all the chapters being long enough to be considered one-shots almost.

Maybe I'll try out writing children's stories if I ever find the time. I like writing and it'd be nice to keep things short and sweet.


	11. who needs enemies? (Haruno)

Sometimes I stop and think, and realize that as a straight guy, I'm writing an anthology from the perspectives of multiple teenage girls, a demographic I can't begin to fully understand, thirsting over one guy. On the off chance you happen to be one of my three female readers, I hope I'm doing at least a decent job. Anyways...

* * *

Haruno: …Who Needs Enemies?

"….so wait, they seriously tried to pull that kind of stunt out in broad daylight?"

"Yeah, I wouldn't believe it either, but it's true. Actually had to take a sec to realize what the hell was happening before I stepped it."

"Heeeeyyy, wait wait wait. Back up a bit. What exactly was their plan? One girl, three guys, how exactly were they supposed to figure things out between them? What, were they planning on sharing time with her, or maybe they wanted to take turns speed dating? Why would they invite her alone, why wouldn't they say something like, 'ah, by the way, these girls are coming as well?' Why would-"

"Honestly, Haruno, it's enough I have to recount idiots being horny, going for some kind of introspection is just going to end up driving a fork through my skull. I feel I wouldn't have any idea on how to make things simpler for you if I tried, regardless." The huff on the other side of the call clearly showcasing his mild frustrations.  
"Haha, you're telling me you haven't been aroused by a girl before?"

"To the point where I'd be that stupid? I've had enough experience with being 'lovestruck', and that is a memory I'd _love _to leave behind."

_Another huff from the speaker, he's definitely ticked from this. Hmmm, maybe navigate past this particular topic, and move on to something a lot less awkward._

"Why are you even interested in this anyway? You hardly even know Miura. Hell, have you two even met before?"

"Aww, come on! Can you blame a girl for finding these kinds of things fascinating? A girl, troubled and harassed by peers, only for a cool, dashing rogue to swoop in and save the day!"

"I wasn't aware you indulged yourself with those kinds of fantasies."

"What girl wouldn't?" I giggled before stretching an exaggerated, lovestruck sigh. "For someone to protect them in their time of great need….ahhhhh, how romantic!"

"I'd…rather not frame those kinds of things in such a light," he muttered. "With any luck, she moves past that experience as quickly as possible."

"Awww, don't be a spoilsport! What are you to prevent a maiden's feelings from blooming into something more?"

"Tch, that's beside the point, Haruno! Speaking of, how did you even hear about this in the first place? I thought the school kept it under wraps."

"Ah, all I did was ask if anything interesting happened on one of my visits to Sobu earlier this week. You'll be surprised how quickly the female teachers love to gossip."

"Ugh, it really doesn't end with just the students, does it?" the boy groaned. "Remind me again why the entrance exams were such a pain in the ass if was the quality we ended up with?"

"Well, for better or for worse, Sobu does produce quite a number of notable alumnus. For a historic school, it's a given the reputation's good enough to hold one well past graduation."

"And I suppose such a pedigree lets you go in to and fro and meddle in with our affairs on a whim?"

"Awww, don't be like that. I figured with a 'model' student such as yourself, you'd love to have any kind of interaction with the dux of class 20XX, let alone have her number on hold."

"At this point, with the sheer number of texts you've been sending lately, I'm weighing my options between blocking you altogether."  
"Hahaha! Figured you'd have that kind of response, Hikigaya."

Ahhh, teasing. So simple, yet such a refined art once you delve into it just a little bit. Sometimes I wonder if Yukino even hears how harsh the words coming out of her mouth are. There's got to be a little wit, some panache, to make things more invigorating for both parties. There's a lot more entertainment that way.

Hikigaya gets it, at least. Gravelly enough to leave an impact, but not too scalding that it'd just make the whole affair awkward. And just enough resistance to make things fun without making out to me some kind of doormat. Always on his guard to make things interesting, and yet so many ways to 'attack', hehe. Add a bit of the occasional panache, and you're got something that makes TV look boring.

"You know, a lot of men would kill to be in your situation, right about now. With all of the soirees mother's being hosting recently, they'd do a lot just for a few seconds of my time, you know?"

"Figuratively speaking, bragging tends to be quite the turn off for some guys."

"Oh, how cruel, dear Hikigaya!" a mock gasp escaped my lips, reminiscent of my high school performances. "You wound me deeply, so!"

"Ugh, with those theatrics, you'd fit right at home with Ebina and the like. Besides, I thought you hated these kinds of parties. You're always complaining about the food accommodations, or all the 'crusty old people', each and every damn time you pick up this number."

"Hey, it's so and so. There's some good eye candy from time to time, and sometimes it's just fun going all out with the wardrobe, and becoming the bell of the ball, you know?"

"Tch," he groaned. "I should have figured as much with how flirtatious you were that you take some kind of sick pleasure in all of this."

"Hmmm? What's that, I hear? Is my dear Hachiman jealous? Oh, have you fallen for me, perchance? OHhhh, my, how dastardly! Should we escape far away from here and elope, my dear?"

"The very thought makes bile rise from my stomach," he replied, in such a deadpan manner it would make anyone laugh.

Oh, what the hell!

"Hahaha, if I didn't know who I was talking to, I'd be feeling awfully offended right about now! I got some school friends on speed dial that would rough you up just for that, you know?"

"Eh, sticks and stones."

"Awww, I figured you and I would be a lot more close, after all this time we've spent together," I said in a way where you could almost hear the pout. "I even got you something for your birthday. You're using it right now, aren't you?"

"Barely," he muttered before continuing. "Not that I ain't greatful, mind you, it's just….a KaibaCorp phone's not exactly known for functionality. I mean seriously, can play any mobile game at max settings with no latency or lag, but lord forbid you try anything else. Even the camera's half-assed, seriously. All the buttons are so close, I've once sent a cat picture to all my friends, it was embarrassing as hell."

"Haha, I know, I was there. He really is a cute little bugger, isn't he? Still, I picked it just because it was expensive and I had money to spare. What, with the price tag, and with how you love playing games, I figured it was the best kind of gift, no?"

"…even so, it kind of makes it hard to return the favor. I ain't exactly in a position to get some cash, you know?"

"Awww, I don't care for any of that. As for repaying me, how bout for _my _birthday, you can I can go someplace private, have a candlelit dinner and profess our lo-"

"**Anyways." **Aww, what's with that tone. Can't spare a girl some fun, Hikigaya-kun? Aren't you supposed to be on your way on another one of these parties now? I figured you'd hang out by now."

"Ah, nah, the limousine's still in traffic. As it turns out, hosting a gathering in the middle of the day at peak hours makes things a whole lot inconvenient, wouldn't you say? Well, there goes my Sunday, but ah, well! Got you to help me past the time, don't I?"

"You're just lucky I don't have anything better to do right now. It's been like, what, an hour and a half since we've started this call? Where the hell are you even headed, anyways?"

Well, let's just see outside the window. Hmmm, a sign. A sign. Oh, look, a flow- oh, no, wait. Just some shrubs. _How quaint._

"Ahh, some rural family home apparently. It's honestly easier to get there by train, but mother's a stickler for etiquette, as you know," I muttered, as being reminded of the long ride would to any upbeat gal of my age demographic. "Can't have the firstborn come barefoot, or something like that."

"Clearly. Yeesh, and I thought Isshiki made things needlessly difficult…"

"Stop, stop, let's not talk about work and all those boring formalities. Right now, let's talk about fun things! Like hey, what about that 'Ryoushin' thing that's been up and around recently?"

"…not exactly the type of thing I'd consider fun. Namesake aside, this _is _a hate group targeted towards me in particular."

"Haha, I didn't think you were the type that would take the likes of them seriously. You'd think with how many members they've got, one of them might have stopped and questioned how silly the name sounded. What, is it supposed to be symbolic?"

"Well, I hear Sagami's taking applicants for the Souran Bushi coming up. Maybe they're just overly enthusiastic about that."

"…pffffftHhhahhaha!"

"…what, did I say something?"

"S-souran Bushi…so m-many people wanting to do that s-silly dance!? I- hah, I can't, I can-ha-Hahaha!"

"…it wasn't that funny."

It probably isn't, to be honest. But, given that I had spent the last hour with only a stick in the mud of a limousine driver as company, in a car that reeks of overcompensating scents towards what has got to be the seventh social gathering this month?

…yeah, I'll take whatever amusement I can get.

"At times like this, couldn't you just call Yukinoshita or Hayama? Like, they'd get having to deal with these dreary events, I'm sure they'll lend an ear to sympathise."

"Oooorrr, maybe I'm feeling a little vindictive, and I want someone else to suffer with me?"

"Oh, so you admit, talking to you can be a pain in the ass?"

"Awww, don't be like that, Hi-ki-ga-ya-kun! Surely, you've had some share of fun in these little conversations of ours."

I think it's gone up to four times a week now. Back when I first slipped my number in his front pocket, I figured it was alright to call on him once in a while. After all, as fun as things might get, a boy of his nature probably is preoccupied with a lot of things. Plus, if I spent too much time with him, all the interesting topics probably will just get expended. There was only so much a university student and a second year could have in common, after all.

…so yeah, that train of thought lasted all of two weeks.

Turns out, 'boy who finesses himself around a dozen girls, including having to deal with all their problems' makes for some _hilarious _antics. Ahhh, if only I were born three years earlier, and could see all of these things firsthand.

Between the illegal moves in a sports festival, to manipulating votes behind the scenes, and now a grand conspiracy against the boy?

_Hey, don't mind if I help myself._

"…no. I suppose our talks aren't _all _bad. Though, you really ought to calm down when it comes to all the latest buzz. Gossiping isn't really ethical, you know?"

"Haha, hey, I can't help it! Besides, if the gossip is actually true, that just means I'm lavishing myself over something 'genuine', wouldn't you say?"

"…please do not use that word again. At least, for this context.…no, wait, it's you. Perhaps never would suffice."

And he wonders why things are so entertaining when he's around? Guys that come and go either tend to lean one of two ways; either they want to kiss girls, or kiss ass. Neither of which ever get interesting with personalities as course as sandpaper.

_Although, I suppose if it were him…haha, that __**would **__be a fascinating sight now, wouldn't it?_

"Awww, what do you mean, Hikigaya-kun? I'd say I'm every bit the _'genuine' _article that I say I am! Here!"

*snap*

"Why don't you check for yourself?"

"…a photo? What, did you send a selfie of yourself just now? I don't think a still image is going to help with my perce-w-Whw-hWH-A!?"

"PpppthAHAhaHAHAHA! I'd say I'm quite the catch, but you're the one with the fish eyes, right? _Guess that means I've caught you now, haven't I?_"

I've always subscribed to the philosophy where, if you have to do something, you might as well go all out to make sure people can't say you didn't try.

So, heading to any party, you might as well do your best to look good, right? Haha, seems like I've struck bullseye.

_Ladies and gentlemen, for tonight's attire, we have an elegant purple, low cut dress, which graciously hugs the maiden's ample bosom. Made up with the best cosmetics the beauty world has to offer, while giving that sultry, fiery gaze as if to challenge you to claim her, this vixen is but a second away from pouncing you, claiming you as hers and hers __**alone.**_

"…y-you seriously need to calm down with this kind of thing. If your sister ever caught wind of this, she'd never let it end for either of us."

"Oho, you've recovered faster than I expected. Don't tell me you don't find little ol' me attractive anymore? Sigh, perhaps age has come to take away my charms as a woman…"

"That's no-ugh, why do I even bother?"

"I think everyone's figured out its in your nature by now, ahaha!"

"In any case, you really need to lay off with all the flirting. I can see the joke, but If anyone catches wind someone like you is pulling these kinds of stunts, you'll have the media hounding your ass.

"Hmmmm? You implying someone like me can't find their way around the likes of them? Please, there's a world of difference between the real world and some high school hijinks, you know?"

"Haruno, you're an award-winning conductor, eldest child of prestigious parents, one being a member of the diet, with the other being heiress to a massive conglomerate, and practically the most desirable bachelorette of aristocracy this side of the country. I'm just some second year."

"…heh, you're more than just an everyday high school student, you know? Trust me on that."

Quite a fair pause came afterwards, without a sound from the other end. Hmmm, I wonder if he's skeptical, or if he's genuinely flustered. Hehe, hope it's the latter.

"…whatever," he relented, vaguely accepting my comment. "Look, I've got some things I got things to do for the rest of the day, so I'll be on my way now, if it's fine by you."

"Whaaat? Awww, come on, just two more minutes! Maybe five…oh, come on, don't leave me now, Hachiman! I neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed you!"

"Ugh, _pleasant_ as this was, Haruno, it's some fairly urgent business, otherwise mom's gonna hound my ass. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'll just head off to take a shower before I head off."

"Ohhhhhhhhh, myyyyyyyy. A shower, dear? Oh, don't tell me that picture has given you some scandalous thoughts you require _relieving?_ My, if you just said so sooner, I might has offered to-"

"**Goodbye, Haruno."**

(*click*)

Pfffffft. Maybe I went a little too far this time around.

* * *

"…and so, now that we're concluded with the early formalities, I would like to pass it on towards our delightful guest for the evening. Yukinoshita-san, if you will?"

Ugh, you'd think with how interchangeable the opening speeches are, they'd just opt to cut it out altogether. We get it, it's a place where everyone's trying to set up connections and under-the-table alliances. Everyone's in on the whole schtick, might as well save everyone's time.

"I must say, you look as extravagant as you did last time we've met, Haruno. It's a pleasure to share a table with you once more," a man whispered to my left.

"Haha, likewise, Ogino-san. I hear your little brother's been doing fine at my old school?"

"Ahhhh, yes, of course. We were worried a sudden transfer would give him some trouble, but it appears he's handling things exceptionally well."

"Oh, is that so? That's nice to hear."

Navigation successful. This should end the conversation now, with how conclusive I was. Ogino over here's been a lot more forward compared to the others when it comes to wanting to talk, so I'll entertain him. Hey, if I get to have an easier time dealing with people, it's a win-win. Speaking of, better talk to the other one, to make sure I don't show favoritism.

"And what about you? How are you handling this, errrrr…."

"Kaiba. Mokuba's fine, I really don't mind. I'm too young for complete formalities, anyways."

"Kaiba, eh? You're _his _little brother?"

"Yeah. Haha, could you not tell? Is it the looks? It's the looks, isn't it?"

"No, it's not that. I guess compared to him, you're more…"

"…short? Meek? Cute?"

"N-no, not exactly."

He paused a bit to think of what to say, before looking at my eyes to realize what I meant.

"…sane?"

"…haha, please don't take offense."

"…ah, right, you met with him sometime ago, didn't you? Haha, my sincere apologies."

"Much obliged."

Ahhh, the party has barely started and I'm already reminded of why I'm here.

'Zaibatsu'. The term coined for any Japanese monopoly with a stranglehold on the economy. In recent times, a power vacuum had opened after a few of the largest corporations transferred overseas, in some kind of multinational initiative.

Whatever the point is, it doesn't matter. What _does matter_ is a whole lot of niches suddenly being up for grabs. That means practically all of the elite are piling up on top of each other, trying to fill the void and perhaps, obtain the name 'zaibatsu' for themselves.

After all, once they have that adorning their enterprises, they're practically untouchable by anyone underneath them from an economical standpoint, and in the advent of the new era, it would promise decades of prosperity.

So yeah, it just so happens the Yukinoshita family's playing the game as well. With father being a prominent member responsible for the country's legislations, and mother being a representative of an age-old prestigious family, we're among the few that could be called 'frontrunners' in this race. All it would take is one more push, and we'd be able to secure our 'dynasty' for the next century.

_It was simple enough, _my mother had said. A political marriage with one of the other families at our caste would almost guarantee the zaibatsu status. Any large conglomerate worth their weight in gold would do. They would get political power and standing from my father's end, and we'd get our step in the door in the industrial side of things. A mutual, symbiotic relationship, that would elevate both sides to the peak of society.

So yeah, in came all these rich bachelors introduced to me, whose names I scarcely know and personalities I care for even less. But, ever being the dutiful daughter, it's something I have to deal with for the time being. Father isn't nearly as insistent as mother is when it came to this, so there's at least some leeway to how I can approach things.

And hey, it's not even that much trouble for me anyways. It's practically a chore, as long as I'm going through with it, the family will be satisfied, and my mother wouldn't be on my case. Basic quid pro quo.

There's not exactly much to gain out of denying her, anyways.

Plus, if I didn't handle this, then there's the off chance they'd go for Yukino. As for that possibility…

_Hey. The older sister should always take care of the younger. Especially for things like this. _

So yeah, it basically meant trying to associate with everybody higher than us on the totem pole, to achieve our goal.

Hayato's family is pretty self-explanatory. We go way back, and although the Hayama's are much more well off than we are, they always seem to treat us as equals.

I'm sure our parents must have at least entertained the thought of an arranged marriage at least a few times, though thankfully the notion isn't high priority. Both our families come from political standing, so if we're trying to seize power, it might just be redundant, even if we became absolute powerhouses if it ever came to legislations that would favor us.

_Not to mention, that stint in the States with Yukino…_

Other options were also suggested. There was the Shinomiya group, but I feel like we're leaving them for last. After all, their entire family's known for housing this generations's perennial jackasses. Not that we'd ever say it to their faces, though, what with their sheer power.

Then came the idea of trying to butter up to KaibaCorp.

…well, we _did _manage to set up a meeting, buuuuutt….

…yeah, that was for sure, a ride.

_Seriously, it's just a card game, how does one spend two whole hours just on that!? Jesus…_

But yeah, these soiree's that's being set up? It's basically every prestigious families' excuse to get with others, to try and force others out before they turn on each other. And with how much of a catch I am, I'm basically at the forefront of the entire thing. All those eyes on me, even as mother's giving these speeches is proof enough of that.

Sigh, I remember when the idea of relationships were a lot more simple. When things were as easy as just liking someone, and seeing where it went from there.

Can't really say I have much experience with the whole 'dating' thing, what with who I am. If I were to have a crush, it'd probably just be left at that. A mere flame, nothing more.

…come to think of it, did I ever have one? Hmmm, did I ever like anybody back in the day, it's been a while…

…

…yeah, I guess if that was what you would call one, then I guess way back then, I would have had someone like that.

Do you remember the one who you were first enamored with? Vividly, I mean. They say you never forget your first love, but distance and time has a habit of making the heart go yonder, as some might say. Hell, some people start falling for others as early as kindergarten, and I'll bet on the odds that you'd hardly be able to remember his or her face.

In my case? Now that it's come back to me, it's actually quite easy to recall of 'the boy'. To me, he was always known as 'the boy'. Not because it ended in tears or tragedy, or something like that. Not exactly because I was smitten, or consumed by the spring of youth, or some other kind of palaver the novels and dramas tend to feed to the masses.

I just never got a hold of his name, that's all.

Yes, I know, I know, that seems hilariously out of character for a person of my pedigree, but it is what it is.

In hindsight, I think it was more curiosity, more than anything else.

It was back in junior high, during a time where I actually had some semblance of freedom. I think it was just before my mother decided to put me through the study regiments, the type that would make the crème de la crème of Tokyo U scamper off in tears. Yeah, seriously. Take my word for it.

…oh, don't get me wrong, it's not like I was more innocent back then. Being a daughter of the Yukinoshita household, you're taught-well, _forced_, to hold your own, the moment your age reaches double digits. The Yukinoshita conglomerate has a huge history behind it, see, and you don't stay relevant for so long without making many rivals vying to usurp your throne.

Same old tale for every succeeding generation, really. Etiquette, charisma, skills, intellect. Anything less of excellence meant more time thrown into the books, even if sleep and other commodities had to take a back seat. So, you might as well get things right the first time and save yourselves the trouble

Anyways, where was I? Oh, right, the 'boy'. It's nothing profound, honestly. No secret childhood promises, or protecting me from bullies when I was woefully unguarded, or even because I simply thought he was cute. I mean, he wasn't bad, but nothing too special.

He just happened to 'break the mold', as one might say.

As you know, lies are the foundation for many things in society. The 'face' matters, anywhere and everywhere, and most would rather maintain it, even if they have to build it up with fibs and half-truths. Whether it be in the lavish formals of high society, or on your regular school grounds, there's always going to be some people who thinks way too hard about what others may assume of them. I suppose it can't be helped, given the way things are.

And if you're being brought up to be the face of a large conglomerate such as ours, it's kind of a given you need to develop some foresight into weeding out all the bullshit artists. There's only a finite amount of resources time and resources after all, so you got to make everything count.

And hey, schools meant to be a place to learn and pick up new skills along the way, right? Having it act as some kind of social practicing grounds is just being efficient, really.

"_Ugh, I can't believe that skank! Did you hear what she did to ***?"_

It wasn't anything near that bad. You're only on her case cause she's prettier than you.

"_Do you think she's planning on stealing your boyfriend, ***? Ugh, what a bitch!" _

I mean, it's clearly you making those eyes on her guy. You're projecting out of spite, and you're not even being subtle at that.

"_Hey, wanna hang out? I'm also from a pretty rich family, Haruno! Kids like us ought to stick together!"_

You're going to have to get in line with the other two hundred or so rich kids I've met so far that's wanted a piece of me. Might as well email whatever ulterior motive you have in mind, I'll have to deal with the likes of you somewhere down the line…

But of course, courtesy means more than most would think in this world, especially in my case. Gotta smile and wave, constant pain in the ass as it always is. Yeah, that always seems to work. No one can resist the cute, social butterfly.

So yeah, most of my middle school ended up being an extended lesson on the mechanics behind social life. And like most cases of learning, it was honestly boring as hell.

Not that I'm not prone to listening in on the latest drama. On the contrary, it's an amusing distraction, however brief it is. Eventually it starts being a drag though. Thanks to the accelerated path my mother put me down, I'll have to deal with being an adult in a young girl's body. Sadly, that means outgrowing a lot of the usual gossip that might have caught my interest otherwise. A lot of these things, I bet these folks will look back and laugh or groan at themselves. I just happened to have the foresight to see things in advance.

Guess that's why 'the boy' made things a little bit more interesting. I guess it was kind of…refreshing? Seeing something else, I mean.

It was a day, like every other monotonous autumn day. I was with some other students, whatever group it was, I didn't really bother to remember. I rotate between cliques all the time, and they're all well, they weren't exactly unique from one another, anyways. It was just the usual, chatting about whatever came to my mind. Me being me, it was easy pickings, navigating towards the things that would entertain everybody the most.

Then there was this other group, passing nearby. It was the basketball club, I'm pretty sure. Well, the current conversation I was having with these particular folks weren't all that interesting. In fact, I was pretty certain that I was recycling the same sentences I was using in my past couple outings with some of the other students. Well, I was pretty zoned out as it is. So hey, why not? I'll listen to what those other guys were talking about. Group dynamics change based on the activity, and at the very least, a group of young athletes seemed pretty quaint.

"Look, I get it, the school's obsessed with it's high test averages. But come on, 70% minimum on every subject, just to play some ball? Who comes up with this kind of crap?"

"I guess we know now why. Cause they're basically holding anything fun at ransom if we don't meet their standards."

"A-ain't this blackmail? What's wrong with just wanting to have a bit of fun in this killjoy of a school? Teacher's are already hounding our asses as it is, at least leave the actual fun things out of it."

"That's cause you keep checking out the girls, dipshit. Got nothing to do with that rice grain of a brain you have in that small head of yours."

"Oh, piss off, you ass!"

The boys were complaining about the quota they needed for their grades, in order to participate in out-of-school competitions. This was a strict school, based on academic brilliance, so you weren't allowed to half-ass your studies for anything else.

They were swearing, teasing and laughing. It was brash and loud, but at least it sounded like they were having fun. I can't say I wasn't a little bit jealous. Of course, back then, I put a hell of a lot more trouble into appearing the 'model student'. Yeah, I was pretty boring back then, didn't really let loose until my Sobu days.

Honestly, I probably should have lightened up a lot sooner. Not like I get much more free time these days, anyways.

"But seriously, haha, how the hell did you even pass the last test, anyways? Your English sounds like a dying monkey!

"Pffft, it's just cause I'm a fuckin' genius, that's why! Don't even have to try!"

"As if, idiot. It was multiple choice, you probably got lucky as hell."

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

This one boy in particular, was being hounded on because his literacy skills was, and I quote ,'complete horseshit.' He laughed it off alongside all the others, saying he'll just fluke his way through the upcoming tests.

I took no mind of it. Even though the school practically whipped all the students into shape, there was bound to be at least a few slackers that cared a lot less about academics. Honestly, with how strict things were, I was actually surprised more weren't like that out of apathy.

_So basically, nothing out of the usual. _That was basically what I got out of that detour, one of many thoughtless conversations that'll be forgotten to time amongst the fog of memories.

At least, that was my initial thought.

It was later that day, while I was checking out. I was part of the middle school committee, at the behest of basically everyone, and had stayed behind quite late to take care of an inquiry. Some kind of screwup, a mismanagement of some kind with one of our premier clubs.

So yeah, there I was, equal parts tired and annoyed, with the extra work thrown in my way. Unfortunately, those at the top tends to deal with the most responsibilities, and no one else wanted to handle it. It was an easy opportunity to gain some brownie points with the cohort, so naturally, I took it upon myself to handle it. Major pain, yeah, but what can you do?

The library was still open, and before I could leave, I had to return some of the resources we had borrowed earlier that week. Ordinary task, to round out an ordinary day, essentially.

What _wasn't _ordinary in fact, was seeing the same boy from earlier, huddled at the back, hitting the books.

It was unusual, but not unbelievable for someone to be staying this late. The school library was maintained quite a while after school's done, and there was bound to be some people wishing to cram or organize a group study session.

But I had already written this guy off from what I'd already seen. You don't exactly seem to lie about being studious, it tends to be the other way around.

I had asked the lady managing the library front if he happened to be a consistent visitor. Surprisingly, she seemed to be all too keen about spilling the goods. Then again, given my reputation, she probably didn't think I was going to misuse the information.

I mean, that's still not a good reason to just give out something personal. Like, I appreciate it at all, but come on. Faculty ought to know better.

Turns out, the boy managed to come to the school via a sports scholarship. Wasn't aware the school issued such a thing for students that young, but apparently, he happened to be a mainstay around several junior sports clubs in the past. One of the sports teachers doubled as a supervisor, so he must have gotten him in via a favor.

Well, nothing special then. A bit of nepotism, if on the lighter side of things.

Then she spouted about how he was from a poor family, how he secretly works hard behind the scenes, away from the public eye, just to get that little bit ahead so he can play ball with his friends. That kind old lady almost seemed on the verge of tears, recounting all of that to me. Can't exactly say I felt the same way.

Though, I did appreciate it, in the end. Was one of those things that changed how I saw the world.

Because from my position, whenever you get the idea that someone's hiding something, first thought is, 'they're hiding an ugly lie', right? So, they mix a couple white lies into the usual palaver, and it just builds onto itself from there. Once you unravel one, though, the whole thing goes tumbling down, and you just wound up feeling disappointed at the end of it.

But 'the boy', he was something…'reinvigorating'. For the first time in, perhaps even back in elementary school, I actually felt refreshed learning a secret about someone. Not some locker room talk, about false bravado or cheap thrills, either. Something that actually made me happy to discover, to warrant my investment and time.

I think it was that instant which led me to how I handled things in high school too, come to think of it. Back then, I was still in the middle of figuring out my 'identity.'

No, it isn't what you think, I've already come to terms to who I was on the inside, something most teenagers and plenty and adults don't seem to realize soon enough. I was still weighing my options over what 'face' suited best for me in the eyes of the outside. A 'shrinking violet', that everyone wanted to trust and protect? Bold, passionate student council president, that would demand authority and receive submission? Or perhaps that manic dream girl that seemed to fit every criteria under the rainbow, so seemingly 'multifaceted' and alluring?

Well, turns out it wasn't 'me' that I wanted to figure out. Once you've already figured out yourself, next best things is moving onto others. After all, looking at yourself in the mirror's going to get old eventually, no matter how hot and sexy you are.

Yeah, you've got some duds. Most of them duds, really. But then you got the arduous, but insecure Meguri's, or your impulsive, unadulterated Hiratsuka's. Hell, I think Hikigaya's the most interesting one yet, and things seem to have barely crossed the halfway mark with him! Not to mention all those ladies surrounding him, they seem quite fun. Not to mention that friend of his…

And really, actually managing to find one of these types of folks, vivacious, and full of life's nuances? Damn, if getting to know them wasn't one of the best decisions of my life.

…oh, and 'that boy'? …hmmm, come to think of it, was that even love, or was that endearment? If I recall, my heart never raced a mile a minute, I never blushed so hard I turned crimson like a twilight sky, nor did I giggle or prance around like a lovesick miscreant. That's what you'd think a girl in love would be, I suppose?

Hmmm, but I do recall…yeah, I guess I did feel kind of enraptured. My gaze lingered whenever I saw him pass through the corridors. Whenever there were any events that had all the classes participate, the first one I tried to find across the opposing crowds was him.

I think I even entertained some thoughts of what it would be like. For him and I to be together. Heh, it was a charming time, for sure. Quite charming.

But, the responsibilities Yukinoshita means they're ill-suited to something as fleeting as a high school romance. No, they got to make sure they write till they make a dent on the desk, listen till they can hear still photography, so on and so forth. Fact of the matter is, I didn't have time to entertain such a fantasy.

To grow up means to sacrifice a lot of things, and for my family, it's simply that we're made to grow up faster than everyone else.

Oh, trust me, there's nothing sad about it either. If I did decide to go out with him, there's no way it would have been a secret. Eventually, my mother would have caught on, then comes inviting him to dinner, and the poor boy would have been interrogated so hard, you'd think he was wanted for murder. Honestly, it was a blessing, if anything else.

Still, though, 'that boy' remains a soft spot, even If I never did catch his name. Had no reason to, since we were in different classes, and had no reason to interact elsewhere.

But still, pleasant thoughts are pleasant thoughts, and they are, by nature, endearing. Much, _much better_, then the tedium I've got to attend to now, that's for sure.

"…and of course, my dearly beloved daughter, Yukinoshita Haruno, is here to join me for the night. I have no doubts that, with your interactions with her, that she'd perfectly encapsulate all the values we share at the Yukinoshita estate."

Now comes the clapping, and then all the doe eyed stares from the first-time attendees, amongst all the desiring leers of those wanting my company. Hmmm, seems like some girls are getting in on it, too. Seems like another thumbs up for your choice of clothes this time around too, Haruno.

_Heh, wish Hikigaya was here right about now. Wonder if he'd get jealous, heheh. _

…come to think of it, is this speech still going on? Christ, by now, all the patrons must be bored out of their minds. Yeah, yeah, history this, pedigree that, virtues and catering to the masses, yada yada. Sheesh, remind me never to be this dull when I'm older…

Ugh, might as well check my phone. Kept it on silent the whole time, and it's not like I'd be missing out on anything crucial anyways.

….hmmm? Speak of the devil, it's Hikigaya. Haha, _now _he want's to talk, when I don't even have the time. Ahhh, you can be surprisingly picky, aren't you? Now, let's see here…

…oh, nice cock, Hikigaya. Though I'm afraid you're going to have to wait a while if you want to tal-

….wait, _what?_

….wait.

….

…

….**waiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.**

Are, uh, are my glasses fogged up? Wait, I don't even wear glasses, what's am I even talking about?  
Did I accidentally drink a bit too much before this? No, all the refreshments served were either coffee, or….tea…

…nope, this is indeed Hikigaya. Naked. Right on my phone. How quaint.

…oh, look, a message.

….ahhhh, so he messed up. Oh, I see.

I see, I see, I see. I see.

…

…

…don't smile, Haruno. You're in a public place. You got to keep up appearances.

Don't smile. Don't start giggling. Don't start _screaming and hollering in utter rancorous laughter, because __**what exactly is this!?**_

HAhahAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

"Hey, did something happen, Yukinoshita-san? You seem awfully happy, all of a sudden."

"Hmmm? Ahh, it's nothing. Don't worry about it," I lied as naturally as I breathed, using the best of my willpower to stifle any stray giggle.

After all, can you blame me? What, all this talk about having fun with the interesting, and here he comes, sending me the _holy grail._

Pffft, an accident? Seriously, Hikigaya-san? How clumsy can you get?

…wait, come to think of it, he did mention his camera sucked. Oops, maybe that means he's just about sent it to everyone. Huh, guess that's on me. Well, if that's the case…

…._yup. Quite the amazing investment, hehehe. _

…or perhaps maybe, this is in retaliation for _my _photo. Hah, trying to one up your senpai, are you?

…haha, ok then. I'll play along. Let's see what exactly you're working up.

Ahhh, yes. Such finely developed biceps. Frame's perfectly balanced as well. Wide and imposing, yet too large that it would be intimidate. Strong enough for embraces, soft enough for cuddles, I see. _Was that your intention?_

And abs, oh my days. I didn't think high schoolers could even have such definition. You've been an awfully hard worker, haven't you, my sweet, _dear Hikigaya. _You'd be making predators out of your lady friends if they ever caught wind of this, I'm sure.

Oh, wait.

And lest we forget, most important of all….

…ahhh, no. Word's won't do it justice. With that piercing, icy glare, and with all those muscle in perfect harmony, ready to take _motion after motion…_

Oh, you could never explain something like this with just words. You could only feel.

_Ooooohhhh, would you be able to __**feel that…**_

"Now, to conclude my family's contribution for the night, before we get onwards to the festivities…"

Hmmm, but what about….well, I suppose I could hold off for quite a while. His birthday's only in half a year after all, I can spend all that time just being _slightly perverted…_

"I would like to pass it onwards to my own daughter."

Ahh, but come to think of it, there's also Yukino as well. Not to mention all the other girls. Ahhh, I can't exactly leave my sister out in the cold now, can I? But to leave him as he is…

"Haruno, my dear. If you may, might you please take the stage?"

…no, wait. I've got it. Hehehe, I've got an idea. It'll take a bit of manpower, but it's definitely something I can pull off.

"Haruno?"

And if everything goes accordingly as planned…hahaha, it'll be a tale for the ages. It'll be an experience I'll _**never forget.**_

"Ahem, excuse me, Yukinoshita-san? Your mother is calling for you."

Ugh, who's spoiling the fun now? Oh, wait…

Shoot, all eyes are on me.

Riiight, I'm at a party. Ugh, is it really that time where I have to give out a few comments. Tch, the one time I kind of wanted things to last longer…

"Pardon me, mother, I was just looking at something amusing. I'll just be there in a minute."

As I made my way across the room and onto the stage, I could hear murmurs around me. Mostly, they were talking about my beauty or my smile.

Was I smiling? Huh, guess I was. Well, I found something that was worth being really, really, _**really**_ happy about, so that would be par for the course.

Ahh, but what to say, what to say? Normally, I tend to leave thinking of what to say once everyone's done with talking, to make sure I don't say anything redundant, or contradictory.

Buuut, for obvious reasons, I am feeling awfully distracted. Mainly, the fish-eyed Adonis, that has now pervaded my thoughts and is about a few steps away from having me _moan_ from a mere thought.

"Hello, everyone, my name is Yukinoshita Haruno. I'm glad to see you all here today. With some familiar faces, as well as those I have yet to meet, I am sure that this afternoon will be quite the lovely event."

I think I've recycled this opening from a past event, though I wonder if people actually care about that. Come to think of it, that's all it really is going to be, isn't it? Just a bunch of boring affairs, that people pretend to be interested in just to carry on with the show.

"As my dear mother has stated, this luncheon is supposed to be an event of unity. A place where those of different places in society can interact, and better understand the cogs responsible for our beloved country's machinations."

All eyes focused on me, not just because I was the speaker, but rather, I was the prime person of interest amongst this whole charade. Like magnetism, so much attraction. Whether it be for social standing or genuine adoration, things really haven't changed from back then, huh? Once the little speech is over, it'll be the same rodeo again and again, until I apparently find _the one._

If I recall, I started doing things like this right out of high school. Which means Yukino, she only has about a little more than a year before she might end up doing this, huh? Well, she isn't exactly the most charismatic, but she'd probably more than suffice, what with her regality.

…then again, that really is no fun, is it? Hey, if I'm going to have some excitement, I might as well bring her in for the ride. Yeah, she'll probably complain, but hey. The alternative's aren't exactly all too pretty. Especially with _him _involved…yeah. I'm sure she'll love what's about to come next.

And hey, I did say there was no point in disobeying because there's not much to gain, right? Well, now….

_There's __**now**__ a perfectly good reason, isn't there? I think I've found the __**one.**_

"Unfortunately, I am afraid that I will be unable to attend this particular session. In fact, I doubt I'll be attending the majority of events in the future."

Like wildfire, whispers and surprise spread throughout the crowds, adorning their faces and their words. As I gazed to the right, I saw my mother, acting the same manner as the rest. I suppose she'd be caught the most off guard, all things considered.

"Now, make no mistake. Without a doubt, this is one of many times where everyone is able to figure out what they are. Whether it would be their own worth, or those that they have to be worried about, or even those that they need to overcome. A tumultuous world like ours, we have to take every chance we get to get ahead."

"H-haruno, what are you saying?"

"Regardless, I wish all of you the best of luck, without malice. For the world is full of wondrous uncertainties and opportunities. Find love here, make a risky investment. In fact, reach for the stars if you really want to. Whatever you so choose, may you be able to claim it with your own hands."

As I started heading out the room, mother following from behind, what's left was something just shy of a cacophony. Clearly, what I had just said wasn't what was expected. Really, I didn't expect those words to come out of my mouth, either. Pffft, with how dramatic I was acting , you would think it was a rehearsal for a play.

Hehe, I never said you had to give up _everything_ when growing up.

* * *

"Haruno, what's the meaning of this!?" mother gasped, stifling her utter mortification. "You can't just say something like that in public, think of your reputation!"

"Hahahaha, I don't see what you're all worried about, mother. I think I just announced my desire to remain a bachelorette. Far from what's considered controversial, I must say."

"Just like that, out in the open!? With no statement, or foreshadowing, you would so casually state something contradictory towards this image we've created for you?"

"Well, to be fair, it's more of an image _I've _created for _me. _There was a lot of benefit to upholding the image before, mother, but now…"

_Who could ever resist such a bounty like __**that?**_

"…well, recent turn of events made me reconsider."

"Please just think for a moment, just think about the people we're able to entertaining, these figureheads of society! There's Ogino-san…"

"He and I aren't the type to mesh well together, honestly. Besides, I hear his younger brother has already transferred to Sobu a while back, I'll have more opportunities to set up some kind of professional conduct without resorting to these kinds of events."

"T-there's representatives from the Shijo group here…"

"Second verse, same as the first. Sobu and Shuchiin Academy have a prominent exchange program, it wouldn't be hard to reach out to them either. Besides, we'd rather not take sides this early, right? What, with the Shinomiya group and all."

"…but, what about Kaiba?"

"…ok, one, the one at the party now is the younger, you couldn't possibly think of him as a potential suitor. Second, the elder one is part megalomaniac, part children's card game fetishist. Honestly, I'm surprise he hasn't started developing Blue-Eyes themed condoms, from how he looks at those pieces of cardboard longingly…"

"Haruno!"

"I'm not exaggerating, mother! Trust me, I wish I was…"

"I jus-It's not _just _a matter of marriage, Haruno!" she was utterly exasperated by now. "Simply _entertaining_ the idea of a relationship, some kind of bond…you know how this world of ours works, don't you? For you to simply cut all those opportunities off, just like that!?"

"Ahh, don't be so melodramatic, mother. You should know by now exactly how adept I am at tending to the aristocrats. I simply felt that it was in my best interest that I made no reservations on what my current stance was. That's all."

"And just what _exactly _are you taking a stance for!? Enlighten me, my daughter, what could possibly overtake all these potential connections!?"

"Welll, I suppose if I had to cut a long story short…."

_Haha, well I suppose it's not exactly __short__, but…_

"I wanted to have some fun."

"…f-fun!?"

"Essentially, yeah. Ahhhhh," I swooned out. To be honest, I'm not entirely sure if I was exaggerating, or if it came fully naturally. "If only you knew, mother. This kind of thing, it's something that comes once in a lifetime, once among hundreds of thousands of lifetimes. I don't think I'd miss it for the world, really."

"…well? What exactly is it?"

"Ah, that. Well, I'd let you in on it, buuuuuut…"

As I began walking out the door, I could hear the soft pitter-patter of her footsteps about to start and follow me. Though, by know, I'm fairly certain she knows I'm heading a place far beyond her reach, from my previous show earlier.

"…well, you're _married, _mother. Can't exactly have you cheating on dad, now."

"…..WHAT!?"

And just like that, before she could ask for further explanation, I headed off towards my limousine. Hmmm, I figured she'd try to follow, but it seems like the sheer surprise of the turn of events is stopping her.

Well, if there's one thing I truly sympathize my mother for, it's just how exactly she's planning on explaining all of this to all of the guests. Knowing my mother, she'd just work the old Yukinoshita charm, and all of this would basically be water under the bridge. Who knows, they might still carry on with the usual interactions, regardless of what I had just said in front of everybody.

Haha, well, I think I'll leave that to whenever I feel like I need to deal with it then. Not that I don't already have a way to handle all of that, just…

Looking at the picture once again, making sure that no one else was in sight of the parking space, I giggled. _Yeah, I had definitely made the right decision. I'll leave the boring part for later, now's for some excitement. I think after reminiscing about 'the boy', it's about time to make some new memories. After all, that's how you move on from your first, right?_

_Sigh, you really are unaware of what you do to a girl's heart, don't you Hikigaya? I admit, it's charming, though I wonder if you do it on purpose. There are times where I wonder if you're the type to string this kind of game along, for your own amusement. Even if that were true…_

*mmmwah*

_I think that's __**precisely **__the type of thing that would catch my eye. And hey, if there ever is something that needs dealing with, the Yuknoshitas' were never the type to gloss over those imperfections. In fact…_

As the lipstick marks adorned his exposed, _delectable chest,_ it made me desire the real thing even more. A phone screen hardly compares to such real, _masculine warmth_. Ahhh, the _delightful things_ I have in store.

…_I think I'll have a lot of fun __**taming **__that wild side. You'll have fun, too. That's a __**promise.**_

…

…

…

*click*

"Hello? Yeah, it's me. Been a while, hasn't it?"

"…hahahaha, no, no, you did nothing wrong, don't worry about it! Listen, I think I need your help with something, mind if you'd be willing to spare a hand?"

"…hmmm? Oh, it involves Hikigaya."

"….what do you mean, that might get you in trouble? Trust me, everything will be confidential. Besides, it's in Hikigaya's best interests, believe me."

"…of course I'll keep it a secret, why do you sound so scared? Tell you what, whatever happens, I'll take the blame. 'On my honor'. You're a sucker for those kinds of oaths, right?"

"…haha, glad to have your help yet again. I'll be sure to contact you soon. There's a couple more people from my end I'm bringing into this, so relax, you won't be alone. In the meantime, take care, ok? You really are a good friend to Hikigaya…"

_Zaimokuza._

* * *

Bit of a lighter chapter in terms of word count, but honestly, I'd say if it works as it is, best leave it short and sweet. Unlike other girls, we already know a lot about her character from introspections, so there's less need to build up more. That might be a recurring trend for the student council girls as well, though I promise it won't diverge from the quality in the slightest. But, yeah, Haruno's chapter. Think it's good to not be overly dramatic, and Haruno in-universe is basically the enigmatic figure that never seems to get worried. Overdoing her inner monologue might have ended up detracting from her character, so for this instance, I'd say less is more. Not to mention, she's the most playful, which was definitely a lot of fun to write. Welp, after this, it's either **Sagami** next or another present time chapter. Leaning towards the former, but I'll figure out what to do next eventually. Till then, hope you enjoy.


End file.
